Spring has sprung and the sap is rising! It's Dating Thread 104

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

lastnick did date happen in the end??

He's been in touch, have date planned for Sunday :-)
I've no name for him, he's a hurler. So maybe Dahurler :-)

Hello everybody! Just a quick update as I've been busy and have neglected the thread

I'm seeing Leicester again this weekend and I can't wait, things are going at a good steady pace and the nice thing is that he just phones me when he wants to speak to me. And that has been every night except one this week swooning ever so slightly here!

Freaky it sounds like you set your standard very well with Doofus and I like the sound of your relaxed vibe.

Waving excellent news about MTG and meeting your mum. And Handy and Twix, you are both brilliant examples of how OLD can work well. Please stay with the thread a little longer!

Sassy it is funny how IDWAR can alter men, do you think they like the challenge?

last it is hard juggling more than one iron but in the past I've found it useful to stop me getting emotionally over invested. However once I've met somebody at least twice I usually step back from the other irons.

misszp frustrating about YTP and the fact there's chemistry but he's holding back. You can't do anything apart from get on with life/ dating/ irons and see if he pulls his finger out before it's too late!

Hello everybody else

Reddish it's great to hear from you again! I hope you are in a good place and moving on. It's not just ladies that are the prize. I think one day she might regret letting go of a thoughtful, respectful man like yourself but you cannot control that. When you're ready I'm sure that you'll find lovely women waiting to snap you up. You can tell by our stories that decent men can be hard to find, they get matched and ironed very quickly

Quick update from my date - will catch up on everyone tomorrow when sober
Ohhhhhhhhh I like IndieBoy !!!! Lots of holding hands and snogging. Lush lush date. And we talked about him panicking, and sorted it out . And he is planning for some proper time together like a weekend so we can relax and enjoy each other . Oh my.

skyrabbit that's great, get back to enjoying your lush man

I love this thread.

Sky - lovely update! Is it me, or is the snogging and kissing when you are getting to know each other one of the best bits? I like all those 'firsts'!

Foxtrot - you are totally right - I have dropped the YPT iron. I am amusing myself with Tinder again, and just hitting the gym hard as I am loving the natural high it gives me- I have gained 3kg of muscle in four weeks, and dropped over 2% body fat. I've no idea what that means, but YPT told me it was a really good result, which with the wine and takeaway I have consumed lately I was pleased to hear!

Also Leicester sounds nice! What are your plans with him this weekend?

Reddish Sorry I missed your update, but hope you are feeling ok today.

Hey everyone yay! For the successful dates....There's a fair bit of sugar going on with you all its wonderful.

I'm just wondering does anyone else get a bit fed up with over thinking about your irons. I find when I'm keen on someone I can't stop thinking about when he'll text, what should I put in my next text, whether I'm texting too much, should I have said that, do I look too keen? It kind of takes over and I can't get on with normal day to day stuff, it's like my mind is pre-occupied with it all. So annoying.....I'm not in love with this guy, just think he's nice. Why does it take so much room up in my head? Think I need to meditate. Just wondering if anyone else has this? Someone slap me!

pricey I think it's because it's nice to like someone, takes us back to our heady teen years. When you've work, bills, kids, stress....a crush is a lovely distraction

Thanks starsky. You may be right. But I've got so much to get on with and all I want to do is watch Matthew Hussey videos. 
Watching Matthew Hussey probably isn't helping......he's so fiiiitttt. Yep I've definitely reverted to being a teenager haven't I? 

I'm just wondering does anyone else get a bit fed up with over thinking about your irons.

Pricey 10000% yes! If I genuinely like an iron, I tend to overthink everything. I think that is what I have done with YPT to be honest. I am not obsessed, but I think because he gives me this buzz that other irons haven't, you do than think 'oh is he a special one?'.

Actually you know what I am learning? That initial buzz has been, and usually is, my gut instinct warning me off.... But how do I dedicate my energy into something else? It is hard to detach yourself from it. I am finding it hard to distinguish that initial attraction and butterflies with the gut instinct.

What has helped though is to start thinking like a man, and to remember the tips given in WMLB... worth a read!

Thanks miss yeah, I'm trying to distract myself from it.....but can't help thinking waiting 6 hours (and counting) is quite a long time to wait for a response to a text.....so I'm getting drunk with my friend in the garden and it seems to be good therapy. Why....why...why do they do this? It takes a few minutes to reply. I will never work them out. Just joked with my friend that we will be sat here when we are in our 80s still moaning about men.

freaky you have made me think about what I'm really looking for and I think just liking a man is good in RL. I'll imagine more in my head but if I was asked out I think I'd have to start with friendship and see where it goes. Loving the stories on this thread as I miss romance and snogging (pretty dead marriage for yrs)! Good luck to all the 'active' daters and please keep sharing gossip

Evening, very belated loo update from last nights date with disney, I was sitting here 15 minutes before I needed to leave not even ready because I was pretty sure he was going to cancel, I had a text from him at 7 saying he was stuck in London and 1% battery so it was a last minute dash when he sent a message to say he was still coming and didn't want to make it later.

So I swanned along wearing a top out of the wash basket and jeans, my hair needed washing but I wasn't too fussed because I was quite sure I wouldn't fancy him on his photos. He was from Tinder, had 4 pics up and I liked him in 1 of them. The second he got out of the car I was because he looked so much better and we instantly clicked, there was a lot of chemistry right away and we ended up kissing in the middle of the pub after about an hour!

More snogging like teenagers by my car on saying goodbye and lovely messaging when I got home. All a really nice surprise and very lovely except I had that other iron scottish who I'd had a coffee date with on Wednesday and agreed to go to dinner with Saturday even though I wasn't sure I felt a spark.

So I had a horrible task of sending him a long thanks but no thanks I've changed my mind message this morning which I didn't enjoy as he was a genuinely lovely chap. But having been reminded how it SHOULD feel, even if it never comes to a second date with the gorgeous disney I know I wasn't into it and didn't want it give him false hope or string him along as he was quite keen. We are always moaning about getting ghosted or slow faded so I thought hard as it was I should treat him with honesty and just explain and be upfront. He sent me a few back, he said he was gutted and I did feel awful but it's the right thing to do and hopefully I will be free to enjoy a second and guilt free disney date soon!

sky rabbit so pleased your man was lush too and you and a brilliant date! Any more on this? Have you been in contact today?

Last, it sounds like the perfect date, no pressure or expectations and you end up having a fabulous time. So exciting for you to have met someone you click with

Prizes, I'm exactly the same when I really like someone. I over analyse everything and it's exhausting so I'm trying to just see dating as abit of fun and not have too many expectations.

Miss, I can relate to that feeling of a buzz when it might actually be warning bells. I tend to get over invested when someone is playing hard to get and its usually because they are a player and I should stay well clear. I'm on a mission now to stop talking to anyone who is clearly playing games.

Well it's my first date tonight with Mrchef. He's called me every day since arranging our date and seems like a nice guy but in typical me style it makes me feel he's a little bit too full on.....even though our conversations are quite casual. I've woken up with a huge spot on my chin!! Bloody Sod's law

Last hope it ended well last night?
jaffa get some toothpaste on that spot! Good luck with MrChef. Reminds me of a date I went on with a chef. Said he was 5.10.....he stayed sat down throughout date, when we got up to go he was shoulder height to me....I'm 5.4 he will forever be referred to as Little Chef.
Miss I think you could be right.

So texts seem to have slowed down with Blue eyes. I basically offered him to stay over on one night this weekend. He has kids, I don't. He said he can't because he has kids, yet asked me to arrange a babysitter so he can take me out in the week when he doesn't have his DCs. Totally gone off the idea of another date now....shame so much potential but he's not making much effort to organise time together. He offered for me to tag along with him and his children on the premise that I could pretend to be a client. ......for a 4th date! Think it's time for me to go radio silence for a while.

Well after lots of texting and a few phone calls earlier in the week just when I thought itman had gone quiet we've got a date tomorrow!! Doesn't feel like a date though don't know why, we chat well and the banter in text and on Twitter is great ..well go out with no expectations and hopefully it'll be good.

I went radio silence in plane man when he got a bit frisky and he's side my back texting again but I think I'm gonna just leave him for now seems. Bit too much hard work.

Good luck everyone with dates and wow some of the success stories make me think it's worth persevering with OLD for a bit longer.

Hi ladies,
Quick up date. Had second date with my first pof guy ( fella who picked me up for kiss )
And it was lovely, we went bowling. Played pool then he suggested dinner. Lovely four hours together.
Also took us about half an hour to get back to his car which was two mins away due to all the lovely snogging.

Hopefully will be meeting again soon.

Well it was definitely a date. We got on just like we do on line. Lots of chatter hand holding and some serious snogging. Has to be the longest first date ever though but wasnt a problem and didn't feel like it dragged ....met at 1:30 and I put him on the train at 9:45!! (He came to my city hence me putting him on the train). Hopefully doing it again next weekend !

Good grief, this thread has gone quiet!
Not great news from here.. Doofus has cancelled as he's knackered from his weekend away. To be fair, he arrived home at 3am...
So, I am disappointed and a bit pissed off. I was really looking forward to a day in London and I am not sure when we'll get a chance again.

Well good news for starskey and whatam, gives the rest of us hope lol
Shame he cancelled Itold you, maybe there will be a next time, we have to live in hope.
I've come to the realisation that I don't have the childcare for dating :( first date two weeks ago, he's still texting but I don't have a sitter, he'll get bored of waiting soon!

Freaky nooooo! That is lame of him. I'd be pissed off too. When did he tell you he was cancelling?
Agree this thread has gone quiet
help I feel your pain, dates are a nightmare to arrange when you have DCs. Exactly my problem, we both have DCs that we see all the time. But your date is still texting, if you have potential to be together you'll find a way.

freaky that is a shame, I'd be passed off too. You have to gear yourself up for a date so to cancel is shitty.

help ah that sucks. It is hard with kids. My mam is very good but i don't like asking her too much. Ex is ok-ish but he is in houseshare so can't have kids overnight. So means me coming home to him minding kids after a date, which is weird. He does go home obviously......
But then, I've to have a life too. Ara, it will work itself out.
Could you do a lunchtime date with him? Might make it easier sitter wise.

And, we're back on! He said I could go round for movies and duvets...and I have agreed May turn out to be a terrible decision but I feel like being a bit reckless! I had nothing else to do today and was feeling down for a number of reasons (DS is away all week... being the most important one) so I thought "fuck it". So I am on the train heading to London.
I will be as safe as I can be. Going to check in with a friend (and our FB group!)regularly and generally keep my wits about me. But he does seem like a good egg...

Is this first date freaky?
I wouldn't be too gone on you having to go to him tbh, it's sounds bit lazy on his part.
I hope he proves me wrong though and spoils you rotten.

So my date who I was worried about having the exclusive talk with: we had the talk and he said he wasn't looking for anything serious, I said that it had only be 3 weeks so a bit early for that, but that I would like to know that I was the only one he was seeing. He agreed, and has come off okcupid and tinder. I've been playing it fairly laid back, but after saying he didn't want to get serious, we were talking about meeting up and I said I didn't want to monopolise him, he said he didn't mind being monopolised by me...so don't really know where we are at.

We've spent the night together 3 or 4 times now, not dtd yet, he doesn't seem to want to push for it like other dates have.

Anyway he's just gone travelling for nearly 3 weeks to the other side of the world . He whatapped me to let me know he got there safe, and I sent an message with what I've been up to, and he's read it and not replied. So I don't really know what to think.
He also suggested going to London the end of June, to go to the theatre, but when I suggested staying over was very non commital. It's been 5 weeks now, so I don't really know what's happening. Men are crap aren't they i don't know what to do at all