DRY 12

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

Old thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2584735-DRY-11?

The thread for people who want to kick the booze

Hey Matron! Glad you are starting to feel better .

I drank Becks Blue frequently when I first quit (actually quite a lot for the first 6-9 months!). I rarely have it now, although last time I was out in a pub I did have 2 BBs in a pint glass with a touch of lemonade - delish!

I know it's easy for me to say, but perhaps try and consciously approach the coming month with a sense of curiousness... if you can step back from yourself a bit and watch what is happening to you, you may be better able to cope with the challenges, and also objectively see how far you have come. Maybe? Or perhaps I am talking bollox!

Either way it is new territory, and will certainly be an adventure for you. Make sure you keep that sobriety in a safe place, protect it, and treat yourself with kindness and compassion. We're all here to ride whatever comes with you

Evening to all sober warriors Yoga time for me!

Matron, really sorry if I got the wrong end of the stick and/or offended you. I'm still new to this, and I know people are at different stages of being AF.

I hope that the coming month is all ok.

Ooooh I meant to say, Likeahurricane I wish I had someone around to chivvy me along! I have only been running really about a year, and I more or less gave up over winter But I am plodding on, running 3-5k 2-3 times a week (still walking up the bigger hills tho!). Thinking of joining a park run to give me something to aim for, but ultimately i would like to go further and further.

Anyway, was going to ask how much Epsom Salts do you use in a bath? I have been putting about 4 handfuls in - does that seem about right?

shark oh no I'm not offended at all please don't think that! quite the opposite I am thrilled with your reply. This thread is a life line in the testing times and it's a relief that someone is always around to help. Xx

fuzzy I am up for trying all techniques to stay sober. I have had roughly a 6 week, a 3 week and a couple of weekends and this latest attempt of 15 days in 2016.

I learn something new about myself each time.

Epsom salts - I go for a bit more say 7 or 8 handfuls.

Hello hello hello!

Lovely to "see" you all.

Had a mental health assessment thingy on the phone today. I think I am going to be referred for CBT. It was a booked appointment first thing, so I decided to set off for work, find a quiet bench in the park to take the call, and go straight to work afterwards. I even considered squatting in a meeting room and doing it at work. THANK FUCK I DIDN'T. I cried almost constantly and afterwards I was a swollen mess. I put make up on and went to work and felt shivery and weak for the rest of the morning. Having emotions really fucking takes it out of you. I felt wrung out.

I was asked about alcohol and said I didn't drink "because it really doesn't help". Bit of a massive understatement. I might go into a bit more detail later.
Got told to watch the coffee though. Just as well I love my TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA (Yorkshire decaf is pretty good if you need to reduce the caffeine)

Matron, consider me to be holding your hand from a distance. I hope you have a completely fantastic time over the next little while but please look for help if you need it. Here! Or somewhere else. Anywhere. Deep breaths.

Thank you for all the great positive posts, everyone

Is it OK if I join - am sick and tired of it but I can't seem to stop...

howbad Thanks for the hand hold I had therapy years ago and just cried for the first half a dozen sessions. Some of it is just plain relief that you are getting the help you need

Therapy is so expensive and taboo in the UK. Americans' think nothing of spending time and money on their mental health it's on par with the dentist or chiropodist.

Welcome 4apo

Americans no '

lucy thanks for the prop up tonight and advice. I am taking it and going to bed.

Goodnight all xx

Fuzzy I buy Epsom Salts in bulk online and most advice pages recommend 500g per bath, so I weigh them out
If you ran with me I'd get you running further I don't have any pace to speak of but my talents do lie in being able to get people to run consistently whilst building distance.
We are very lucky where I live. If you were to turn up at the park where we meet at 7pm on a Monday or Thursday you'd be gobsmacked. At least 500 people turn up, some doing Couch to 5K, some 5K to 10K and then we have a 10mile/half marathon group too. We've been going for three years now and around 4000 people have gone through our programme which is completely free. Age is no barrier, neither is weight or pace, we cater for all from 6 min milers to 16/20 min milers
There's loads of other runs go out on other nights too. Everybody runs where I live.....that's how it feels anyhow. It's brilliant.
The friendships that have come out of it have been life changing for many people too. I'm very proud to be part of it.

Wow, that sounds amazing Like , such a good thing on so many levels, well done you

Welcome 4apo you are in the right place. I haven't had a drink since 28 December and it's reading this thread every day which is the thing that's helped me the most.

Hi 4apocalyptic! Welcome

Good night Matron
And Everyone

Hi 4apoca, welcome

Welcome 4

matron I'm sure you are right what you say about your "pattern" - what can you do differently this time? It does sound like a lot of challenging events in close succession, do you absolutely HAVE to do them all? If so, can you plan, plan, plan really carefully and have lots of sober treats to reward you for not drinking ...?

Welcome 4 , I am sure we have all felt like you - I know I have. It really is possible to stop drinking - and rather than looking at the decision as "giving up alcohol" try to reframe it as "choosing to live sober" , as a positive - rather than as a loss. Because really, for everyone with any kind of alcohol problem, being AF makes life a lot lot less stressful...

Waves to all,the other fantastic soberwarriors

howbad I'm glad you have some RL counselling xx

Lily 🌷

Welcome 4, lovely to meet you! Keep reading, these threads are a life line in staying AF.

Phew, matron! Was just worried I'd been insensitive.

How, what a start to the week. You are incredibly brave. Not sure I'm ready to face my issues yet (being AF is enough for now!).

And I'm very impressed with your running Like!

Have a great day everyone. Study day for me, trying to get my head around writing a methodology! 💗

A new day a different mindset. Giving cravings 15 minutes then seeing how you feel is a powerful tool as are sober treats, early nights, one day at a time and self care.

Shark no worries on that front I'm very posty and dramatic when I'm struggling but not at all offended

Lily things I have learnt are that I must not be complacent in these early days. It's the feeling that if I can do 15 days then surely I must be able to moderate. And off I go to try and moderate only to end up in a circle.

It's startling how quickly my drinking increases when trying to moderate. I am back to my previous levels and some within a matter of days.

howbad how are you feeling today? Still emotional?

lily thank you for the positive affirmation on the sober choice. It truly is a gift to have been lucky enough to realise abstinence is the way forward.

flossie I haven't forgotten you and if you are lurking I hope you are ok. Come and join us soon X

Morning all

Glorious morning here.

Matron think about what you said critically; Because you find you can do 15 days abstinence (during which the physical feed & withdrawal effects of the addictive substance have left the body, so 'all' you have to deal with is the psychological stuff), you should be able to do constant use/withdrawal/use etc of the same addictive substance, to which you have developed a toletance, and you should be able to control what happens while that substance is constantly in your body (it takes up to 10 days to rid yourself of it).

You can see they are not the same thing, right? So why - logically - should your statement make sense (unless it is a result of that sneaky addiction trying to get you back in line!?)

Have a great day sober warriors!

Delurking to ask if I can join too? Name changed as previous posts could out me. If I'm honest it's all getting a bit out of hand. I wake up each morning determined to have a day off the drink but it never seems to happen. It doesn't help that I work in a setting where boozy lunches are the norm, and I do have a very high tolerance for alcohol so never really seem to get drunk (or maybe I'm kidding myself?). But today I am going to do it. I want to wake up tomorrow morning without the self loathing.

My first day too Ripley - I m sick of letting myself down. Am on annual leave at the moment and am determined not to spend it drunk or in a state of fear 😱

Welcome RipleysSister . What is your 'at risk' time today, and do you have a plan for it?

Hi Ripley, welcome
Hi again 4apocalypse

Hi Lily, thank you

Very impressed with you, Hurricane and your running club! That sounds so great. I was thinking about my dcs' natural fitness (they are 5 and 7) and thinking about how to help them grow up without losing it. (So they don't have to do couch to 5K when they are adults, like me!)

Hi Fuzzy
Hi Absolute
Hi Shark!

I am having a great day so far. Sun out, music on, big pot of tea, french windows open. Took dcs to school and now working from home. Easiest morning ever; we actually had time to do reading books before leaving the house!

P is away for work; it turned out that he needed to get a train last night and he left as soon as I got back. Which was pretty late to be getting a train to another city. He didn't ask me to do anything different so he could get an earlier train. I don't know what is in his mind at all but all his practical behaviour is unusually considerate. Socially he is entirely ignoring me! but practically he is being nicer to me than ever. I am appreciating it but I also feel really, really sad. There are so many little things that would have made my life nicer for years that he couldn't be arsed to do because he just decided I could put up with him not doing them. And now - without being asked, so he obviously knows what is convenient or inconvenient to me - under pressure of some sort, with whatever objective, he just does things that really help (at least really do not get in my way). why can't men just be nice to the people they are supposed to love?