DRY 12

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

Old thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2584735-DRY-11?

The thread for people who want to kick the booze

Well done shark and rose! You rock!

Yesterday was lovely, I went to lunch with a group of friends as a sort of baby shower for one of them. None of us was drinking but we all had such a laugh. At one point we were in hysterics; the nearby tables were looking at us, clearly thinking we were all drunk but we weren't, we were high on life. It was fab.

Sunny again here, I'm going to get the kids outside doing something healthy and active today, if it kills me it probably will

Shout out to slim and vxa and apologies to everyone else, I am posting on my phone again at which I am horrendously slow.

Have a good day everyone!

Wow well done shark and rose

It definitely gets easier as it becomes normal not to drink.

I've found I didn't lose any weight at all at first but four months in the scales are now creeping down. Very slowly but have lost about half a stone. And that's despite not trying to be too strict about other treats. The big thing is that just feel so so much better. Have just been for a lovely run in the park, new leaves, blossom, wild garlic, met an adorable whippet (faster than me, too :) ) and my breakfast is being cooked as I type.

So had best hop in the shower. Have a lovely sober Saturday, sober warriors

Sybil encouraging news on the weight front. Definitely another good reason to KOKO.

I get strength from reading others successes

Wow Everyone thank you soooo much for all the kind shout outs xx apart from being shattered (didn't get home to bed till 2.30am) I am clear and would've felt so much worse if I had drank alcohol can't believe I did it and am so in awe of anyone who can get through a social event sober xxx Day 12 - let's Rock Sober Warriors love to you all

Just realised it's the Eurovision tonight which has helpfully conjured up a memory of watching it last year, horribly drunk and actually going to buy more alcohol in the interval before the results. I also went to the pizza place and was drunkenly explaining what it was all about to the deeply uninterested staff in there! Mortified!!

It was one of the nights that made me realise I couldn't control my intake.

I'm SO glad that I will be sober tonight and not watching it at all!!!

Morning all, happy weekend to you all.

I love hearing about great times alcohol free. Thank you for sharing.

Today I'm feeling a bit tired and grey so it's nice to come here and get some positive stuff from you lovely people. Thank you.

I need the gym but I just don't have time. I am seriously considering sacking off choir. I don't know if that is a good idea though. I wish I had someone to talk to about all this.

I had a dream that my work friend and I were playing schubert piano duets - this is a clear connection to an old friend of mine I haven't seen for years, we always played together - I will fb her today

What a heart warming selection of posts. I'm feeling quite emotional over here on Day 6 AF. I can't believe it's taken so long for me to get my shit together. And that there were so many incredible people going through the same battle.

As Rose says - we rock.

Coo I need to get out with DS too later, down to the beach for an epic run around and a posh coffee from the cafe. I put a huge bunch of bright pink stocks in the bedroom so that they are the first thing I see when I wake up.

JoJo I am laughing (kindly) at your story. I have done the same many, many times.

On a spooky note, I bought a trashy book on impulse at the checkout yesterday to take my mind off things. The Girl on the Train? Am sure you have all read it? Can't believe the main character has a drink problem! What are the chances of me picking that particular book?!

Hi How. Talk to us? I know it's not the same but I'm here if it helps.

Choir sounds lovely! Is there anyone you could have a coffee with after?

Hi Shark, thank you

Day 6 btw - WOO! Very cool.

Right. The choir thing. we rehearse at 8pm on Fridays when I am always exhausted and STILL have work to do,
this is how it goes on Friday

• school run - back home to start work by 9.15
• work, laundry, a bit of tidying, constantly trying to stop myself doing house stuff, getting distracted online
• 2.45 - school run again

3.30 - dcs having tiredness-based meltdown at home. I am dealing with it while worrying about all the work I haven't done 5.00 dcs need tea. 6.00 - dd1's activity. Argument about her going because she is basically too tired. I stay with her. It's till 7 7 - 8 dcs overtired and screamy bedtime 8 - my choir rehearsal. At the moment, I make about 1 in 2 because by then, all I want to do is the 4 hours' work - at least - that I haven't done in the "working day" and go to bed

We sing in church on Sunday mornings. That bit is fine - I just can't deal with Fridays like they are any more. I am exausted and pissed off and fried every Friday and I can't see a solution except not going to choir, and accepting that as work over flow time, or maybe going to the gym if I am lucky

when I sort out this split with P properly I will have some childfree days. Right now because he does after school time, Mon - thur, the days I am here, and the evenings when I get here, he just downs tools and I'm on till they're asleep. I'm struggling to get to the gym

How you are right it would be a shame not to go to choir. And when you're there and afterwards you will feel better. Singing is great for endorphin production.

If you haven't got time for the gym can you squeeze in a walk in the sunshine ? Being outside might give you a boost.

shark that book is brilliant. It was book of the week on radio 4 when it first came out and I listened to it. It was all a bit too close to reality for me but so compelling. I bought the book but I haven't read it yet. I think I will be ready soon.

Sorry how X posted with you.

Hi how, sorry for delay in replying.

Firstly - you are doing an amazing job and and it's incredibly exhausting balancing everybody's needs and emotions. Never underestimate how awesome you are for doing this alone!

I would echo what vx has suggested but I also appreciate how hard it is to make it happen! What does DD on the Friday? Is it something you and a friend can share with on the ferrying back and forth? So one week you def go, one week you don't but as a compromise suits everyone?

Sorry to hear about your split. Can you negotiate him helping more on Fridays? My apologies if this is a painful thing to ask.

Hope everyone else is OK. 💜

Just to say howbad I had to stop DS1 doing an activity on a Friday as none of us could cope. We are all shattered by then and it's counter-productive. Am starting to think the same with Saturday morning. Would it be possible to re-arrange it somehow so you could enjoy choir? I haven't been part of a choir for 20 years and I miss it.

Major sober and pre-birthday treat here, my new outdoor unbreakable plates...

Husband is drinking AGAIN - Thursday 5 pints, Friday 1 bottle of wine to himself and this eve I look in the fridge and there is 6 bottles of beer and he's already drunk a pint.
I know I can't expect him to stop all together.. and I really don't mind the drinking on 1 or 2 nights a week, but it's slipping into 3 night and a drink mid week - and its really having an effect on me

Hiding in my bedroom about to start Peaky Blinders

Evening all sober warriors

jojo those plates are fabulous - where did you find them?

misscookie so tough, I know Did you always drink together? Sorry if you've told us about it already, my memory is terrible!

Shark day 6! Hope you are having a good evening and have a nice sober treat planned for tomorrow .

Evening
Busy day with important piece of paperwork getting signed off and this evening started work on my final assignment for uni PGDip. 8000 word literature review on insecure attachment, alexithymia and addiction in adolescence (basically researching my former self!). Got until end of August to get it done but we fly to Oz at end of July so needs to be ready to go before then. Starting early . Will attempt first run tomorrow following seriously stubbing bare toe on one of DC's scooters earlier this week which I thought I'd broken At least the bruising's pretty much gone :) Congrats to week-end successes and sober treats all round!

jojo plate envy

misscookie it's a hard one and one that I still do not have the answer to. I have to avoid using the excuse that all my family and friends drink loads so why shouldn't I join in?

All we can do is concentrate on ourselves And try not to be swayed.

Ps sober treated myself to shredded duck in lettuce leaves wraps. Works really well with spicy minced lamb too

lucy that is an impressive subject matter studied at such a high level. Go you!

Plates from Lakeland, couldn't help myself!!

misscookie very difficult

lucy very impressive!

Great plates, jojo!

I love being sober on a Saturday night. Able to read, think, and relax. not slumped in front of crap tv or crap internet because I am too drunk to get up and go to bed.

Lucy - have just googled alexithymia :) You are sounding motivated and on the ball!

Thanks Shark. P (or XP or STBXP or whatever he is) still live together and we haven't even had a proper conversation about splitting yet. We haven't talked at all since a big row nearly 2 weeks ago! I need to find a way of communicating with him enough to at least get out of this ridiculous situation.

I read about a trend for separated couples with children to take a small flat and alternate parenting in the family home. I can see why it would be seen to be good not to move the children, but the thought of having to move into a place every other week that P has been in without me is horrific. If he was capable of treating a shared space with respect we wouldn't be in this mess! My heart sinks just thinking about how awful it would be each time I opened the door and walked in to see crap everywhere.

Did a local activity this evening and laughed a lot with some lovely women. My heart feels so light, I was the one initiating the jokes half the time - I feel guilty for feeling so relaxed and happy when I should be rending my garments over THE END OF MY RELATIONSHIP, WOE IS ME.

But then - there is a lot of crap here to be sorted out, but when isn't there? Why should I let it hang over me? And in the meantime, why not have a laugh when the sun is out and when you are with nice people?

Here's a thought. What if P isn't talking to me because he knows I want to talk about splitting? And he doesn't want to? And he hopes if he leaves it long enough I will come to my senses and start talking instead about how we should make it work?

I have to think about whether I could have that conversation, or not.

fuzzy yes we did but also enjoyed sober times together too.

matron I know, it feels ridiculous being grumpy with him, it's just the 3 day in a row thing.. we used to go through phases.. no drinking in the week phase and just a little at weekends and then slip into drinking everyday with a LOT of alcohol at the W/E.

Poor guy - he's a lovely lovely man, works hard and gets up at 5.30 for yoga most mornings… he should be allowed a drink without me being grumpy.

howbad its good isn't it - I am starting to read again too, which rather embarrassingly fell by the wayside as I just couldn't concentrate half cut.
Sorry to hear about the arguments

misscookie You are feeling what we all feel.

For me it's where do I fit in sober. How do I continue to connect with the people I love.

My parents are throwing an after party for my award. Gah! They are the masters and I learnt all my hosting skills from them.

It will be fabulous, their parties always are.

matron alcohol aside how wonderful to have parents who host parties.

I know - hard when there is lots of bubbly and drinks to go with every course.