Financial Abuse - AlmostFreeMo - Part 4

[AlmostFreeMo]

Next Fred...

What's MO, rumbling? (Probably incredibly obvious and I know what you mean but can't figure it out!)

Sadly, Dolly, this thing doesn't affect him personally, unless he had a conscience of course, then it would be right up there as a top priority as it's for his DC and is not a trivial doesn't matter if they don't have it type of thing.

MO- Modus Operandi - Mo! That looks weird written down.
Just checking in to see how you are - prick remains a prick I see.

Ohhhh. Thanks Grumpy.

Ah Ha, you are clearly getting to him Mo. sorry if DC suffer in some way. but he is responsible, playing his petty games. Now you have taken the power away from him he know he risks looking like a complete fool.

they didn't get x because you failed to cooperate with me and send the link

'Oh so you know that they need things but are refusing to send it. Thanks for that in writing. Have a nice day. Mo'

Nice reply Doreen!

He might even shoot himself in the foot and say if you don't comply they won't get it and bob's your uncle. He must be so frustrated by my lack of engagement. What a shame.

That would be great, Mo. Fingers crossed that that is precisely what he does! I see he has demonstrated that he would prefer to piss about sending you unnecessary emails than just google for a link himself, which would probably have taken less time tha composing an email.

Prick indeed. And a little one.

This time actually it's something specific I have found, so he doesn't know exactly where to find it, but he knows how much it costs because I've told him. All he needs to do is transfer the cash. But no. I might be trying to do him out of 50p so he needs to know the precise amount.

Is it too early for ? Yes probably, in the day as well as the week but oops, I just opened some...I need to calm my bloody nerves!

The fact that he's even worried about your lack of response suggests he realises that openly denying his children something specific (i.e. not food or clothes or whatever) is likely to paint him in a negative light. But he can't let go of his desire to 'win' above all else. What's the deadline for the payment?

Needs to be paid this week. I have no expectations any more. In fact I'm expecting him not to pay it. Better that way. I have to set my expectations as low as possible at the moment, only way to deal with him.

Mo it's well past wine o‘clock ! Starts early when you've got kids, especially small ones. I hope you're still working your way through the pricey stuff!!

Sun's over the yard arm somewhere, Mo! Is it his naice wine that you've opened? You know you have to have a few friends over and drink the bloody lot before he's next in UK.

Mo, its been a long while since I posted but just wanted you to know I am here waving pom poms for you! KOKO X

I used 2 sites called HelpX and workaway and had travelers from all over the world staying and helping out in return for board and lodging. Some stayed for up to 2 years.

Life changing for me. Also helped me see that some men are good and some are awful.

Gave my kids and me different role models. On the advice of my Psy.

Sorry Mo that was my cure for loneliness.

Well done Mo it shows that something else has now shifted in you. You have come so so far since your first thread!

KOKO

Wally, something to think about once I know where my future is. However it means having a spare bedroom, which I probably won't have.

But God, loneliness....lack of conversation...and the jealousy I can't help feeling of others. Stupid I know. Speaking to friends who are just off for a couple of days here or there - perfectly normal family time during half term...and I can't complain that we never did those things too, but it stings a bit when I just don't know when the next time will be for me and the kids. Also another issue entirely...but holidaying alone with kids...can't get my head round that yet.

Mo holidays alone with kids is not going to be that much of a holiday for you, I'll be honest! However, you can try to go somewhere where you are more likely to get a break if you plan it.

So I went to Croyde Bay Unison cottages in Borth Devin for years, because it's all set up for kids. Lots of families there and other kids for yours to play with. I also used to pick places with childcare facilities. So I could drop the dc off for the morning just to have a few hours reading my book.

Then there's going away with friends. Camping is a good one for this. But I never go away for longer than a week as I can't cope with it!

Yep, holidaying as a single parent is hard work (I'm not actually a LP but my DH is disabled, so I do all the holidays). On the other hand, he would never have released the funds to go on holiday anyway, would he? Esp when he spends his whole life on holiday.

I only have one dc so the dynamic is a bit different but I pick holidays that I can enjoy (up to a point) so we often go to London and have a couple of days doing things there - mostly chosen by ds but I will lob in a trip round the Houses of Parliament or something that I want too. Short trips are the key, though, as Dolly says.

Woo hoo! A little back dated payment landed in my account this morning - yay! Not loads but who am I to complain! Should be due some more soon too. Anyhow, it's going straight into my savings towards a deposit should I need it.
Prick, on the other hand has only transferred the lower amount ending in .25p. He won't be hearing from me in a hurry.

You can go on holidays alone with your kids, I used to go to Club Med, the kids get taken care of doing sports & shows, & as they meet people, you meet people while doing yours, skiing, sailing, tennis, whichever activies/seasons are applicable. in the dining areas you sit with others & get chatting... yes the responsibility remains yours, but its not a bad option (though Club Med is not cheap) also maybe you can join up with friends somewhere? Camping is indeed good for meeting people & getting invited to join others for a drink etc.

Your first independent money! Howodoes that feel? Drink in the feeling of having full control over what you do with YOUR own money.
I cried the first time I used my own bank account to pay for my counsellor. It was the sense that I finally had some control. It was more than empowering. It was like theworld had opened up to me.
I hope you have that feeling too.

Remember - oh bless you for crying when paying for something yourself!!!
I'm actually buying something for myself right now - first time in bloody ages without asking permission and it feels bloody good!!!!

But I know it will feel 100 x more empowering when I've actually earned it, and better still if I can pull off the project I'm working on to earn me some cash.
I'm feeling more motivated now that I have the back up of some benefits to keep me afloat.

All I want to do is show him I can manage very well without him.