Is it appropriate for a man in a relationship to have 1 on 1 drinks with a female he is strongly sexually attracted to?

[Kaperee]

As the title says really. Would you tolerate this?

How disrespectful to your partner.
I hope she leaves you. Don't know what's wrong with you.

My post didn't post but basically I think you're after us all giving you the green light, possibly so you can tell your DP that Mumsnet said so.

A socialite? You're not that Lynda Bellinghams widower are you?

Ah, no I get it!

You're one of those people who thinks all women have a 'ladybrain' and you've come here to practice the bullshit lines you are going to pull out when your partner discovers your affair...

Here is the standard script btw;

• It isn't an affair, we haven't kissed/shagged. I would never cheat on you, I'm hurt you think I would.

• It just happened, I don't know how, maybe it was the alcohol.

• it didn't mean anything, I love you.

• you need to get over this, I love you, I didn't do anything wrong. Your constant bringing up of the past is upsetting me.

What a crock of shite

OP, don't be a twat.

AF, I'm curious about 'bint' too. Does anyone remember Loaded magazine? They had a bit they called 'Vintage Bintage', with pictures of Marilyn Monroe or similar. Charming, it was.

I dunno. It was a while ago. I apologised for offending some folk and said I was not aware of any racist connection. I haven't used it since as I have come to the conclusion it is certainly derogatory and only used against women so that's good enough for me

Just posting this, shows you are looking to justify something that you already know is wrong & your gf will hate.
Either you carry on titillating yourself until your 2 year relationship implodes, or you tell her now & split up.

Why would you be introducing a new woman friend to your partner hoping it will become platonic? How disrespectful to your partner.

There is no need for you to meet this woman alone. That would be a date as far as I'm concerned, because of the mutual attraction. Does your DP even know you're going out with this woman alone?

... I'm fairly relaxed but I would take a dim view of DH dating another woman

I think AF has put it perfectly!
Show your DP some respect FFS!

Not sure why anyone is continuing to engage with this thread.

OP is going to date this woman and tell himself it's ok.

He is going to shag her (if she lets him).

But he lacks the courage to break it off with his girlfriend first just in case it doesn't work out with new woman.

How depressing some people are.

Sorry if I've got you wrong OP but I'd bet a lot of cash I haven't.

Offred already knows how this is going to pan out! Spot on Offred.

I guess there's a crucial difference between thinking someone is attractive and being attracted to them?

You remind me of an ex of mine, calling yourself a 'socialite' and priding yourself on having a bevy of 'strictly platonic you understand' female friends. Do you call them 'sophisticated lady friends' by any chance? Yuk.

It's ok to feel attraction to other people when in a relationship. It's not ok to tell them that you are 'deeply attracted' to them. It's not ok for you to tell other people about your attraction to someone who isn't your partner. It's not ok to pursue a friendship with someone with whom there is an acknowledged mutual attraction in the mere 'hope' it will become platonic. It is not ok to act as though whether your interactions with other people are platonic or not is out of your hands. It is not ok to go on dates with other people.

You knew all that though.

By avoiding her and treating her differently makes the attraction and risk more real if that makes sense?

For fuck sake. You're a grown man in a relationship, not a randy teenager. If you were a decent, loving partner keeping your dick in your pants wouldn't be a problem and there would be no 'risk'. Grow the fuck up, and if you want to act like a single man/walking gland at least do the decent thing and end it with your poor partner first.

Loyalty there's another word for you op.

I met with another man alone in a pub in the middle of the day. My DP of that time didn't know of it but there wasn't anything to tell. exDP found out and went ballistic. A few years later, exDP went out with another woman during his birthday week alone at night and actually stayed in a hotel that evening. I trusted him so was fine with the meeting. exDP is now...well...exDP and lives with that OW. If there is trust and knowledge all around then fine. Strong sexual attraction then...perhaps not.

Got myself in a bit of a mess. After much thought, decided that the 1:1 drinks would be a silly thing to do.

However, we ended up all at the same place as part of a larger group, and she made it very clear she was interested.

I told her firmly that I was not interested, but I feel the damage is already done as her behaviours was very open. Very flirtatious, hands all over me, etc.

This happened in front of people who know my DP.

It's really quite unusual for a woman to put her hands 'all over' someone and be 'very flirtatious' if the object of affections has told her 'very firmly' he is not interested.

More like he rather enjoyed it and the story you have just given us is the one you will be giving your DP.

Good you didn't do one to one drinks but either a) you enjoyed the public heavy flirting as a next best thing to going out on a date with her or b) this woman is a stark raving lunatic who is obsessed with you. I know where my money is.

Lol. Of course, it absolutely happened.

So your poor dp is going to end up being hurt now anyway. Well done.

I have spoken to my DP as it is best it comes from me than via other channels. I have nothing to hide.

Bollocks

Regardless of what everyone on here may think, it is natural to be attracted to other people. I was foolish in admitting that to her, and maybe that is why I am in this situation now.

I never had any intentions of taking things any further as I love my DP and see myself together with her long term.