Is it appropriate for a man in a relationship to have 1 on 1 drinks with a female he is strongly sexually attracted to?

[Kaperee]

As the title says really. Would you tolerate this?

I wish I could unwind what I said to her.

By avoiding her and treating her differently makes the attraction and risk more real if that makes sense?

I am hoping that by treating her the same as my other female friends the relationship will just progress to platonic friends as they usually do....

You're not kidding anyone here OP, least of all yourself.

Some of your words in your posts have a gravity to them. The use of "at the moment", "hoping" and "usually do" are all very telling. They are transitional words aren't they? Do you see?

Are you seriously telling us that your partner knows all the facts and wouldn't mind? I think you need to get single before you start seeing a woman you are "strongly sexually attracted to".

You're taking the piss.

What AnyFucker said.

You're basically justifying this in your own little head.

You're arranging a date with someone you're "very attracted to". Oh, but don't worry you're going to introduce her to your partner, just like you always do with your pretty friends, so that's OK. Then you're going to develop a friendship with her. But that's OK to because you have told someone.

You haven't once mentioned how your partner feels about any of this. It's as if you're looking for absolution so you can believe you're in the right.

I can tell you now that you're not.

You are hoping to fuck this woman.

How does that square with your appraisal of your moral conscience?

Oh and avoiding her wont make the attraction more real. That's bullshit.

Avoiding her would be the adult response to the attraction which youve already admitted to her, a friend and most importantly yourself.

Grow up or leave your DP.
She doesnt deserve a man child such as your present self.

Grow up and stay away from her.

Oh and thanks for the laugh.

Calling yourself a socialite indeed

Your drinks with Ms fancypants colleague will be splashed all over the (back) paged of Hello! If you're not careful.

LOLZ

If she's attractive shes probably not that into you anyway. She may have her own following

I'd just like to say...
*
AF & Morris*...

That little breakup/makeup warmed my cold dead heart for a minute!

I have a huge crush on someone. He's just lovely in every way. Personality and appearance. He's also fifteen years younger than me and gay. So nothing would ever happen. But I wouldn't dream of telling my partner because as has been pointed out I'm not dead... but my I value my partner and I will never let him think he is anything else than the only man on earth for me.

I can't imagine putting myself in this situation. I don't have drinks with men alone, anyway. But I definitely wouldn't be having drinks with someone I felt even a hint of attraction to. It would be deeply disrespectful to my husband and I love him too much.

You know this isn't right. You can choose to avoid temptation. There is no way that having 1:1 drinks with a woman you are attracted to is appropriate.

Does your wife know you find her attractive? What is stopping you from telling her, if you think that you have the self-control to keep things purely platonic? Would your wife trust you?

I wouldn't trust my husband and I wouldn't trust me. All the time people are people, there is the possibility of a relationship forming. As soon as there is (unilateral or reciprocal) attraction, you're playing with fire. Find another friend

I would say that you are looking forward to a bit of female attention, yeuch!

OP, you do NOT know what she is intending, even if you aer sure that you don't intend to act on it. She is asking you to go out - a man in a relationship, who told her he is attracted - why is she doing that? You don't know her so do not assume she is some innocent or highly moral. Lots of people will pounce on a partnered/married person without(!) telling them of their intentions.
If yo think your attraction to her is stronger or even equal to that in your relationship,. I'd question the relationship. Unless your P is extremely openm-minded and goes out with men she fancies too.

dona, hmm I'm sure your H would be very sad if he knew that it's not true that he's the only man for you, if that's what you had him believe - how is concealing the truth a noble thing? I'd be upset in his place if I found out. In this case, as your crush is gay maybe it's just a safe crush, as not mutual . I'm just against declaring 'I only have eyes for you' if actually your other hugely fancies another person (especially if both looks and personality) - just best not to make such statements then.

'other half' I meant.

I used a word before I knew which person in this scenario was posting, disingenuous. I can see now that it was exactly the correct word.

Your poor DP. If she is not in full possession of the facts about you, she's not in a position to make an informed decision about whether she wants to continue being your dp. Not a level playing field. Not fair.

Anyfucker...not that it's a word I'd often use, but bint is racist?? What the? Every day is a school day here.

And OP if you are attracted to someone you just shouldn't be going out drinking with them. It's incredibly disrespectful to your partner. And I can see in future the next thread...oh we didn't mean anything to happen, one thing just lead to another. How were we to know .

Fuuuuuuuuccckkk no.

I'd kill DH.

I also went to check out 'bint' after I saw AF's post as, although I wouldn't use it as I don't like derogatory terms for women as a rule, I didn't know of any racist connotations. I couldn't find anything. It says it means daughter in Arabic but that's ok isn't it? Interested to know what the link is.

lovePG I'd never declare 'I only have eyes for you' ! I just wouldn't verbalise that I get crushes on people. Unnecessary in my opinion.

ellen, I was dead from laughing at socialite, too

Ah come on OP, you're trying to whip us up aren't you?

No-one could really be dense enough to believe 'building a friendship' with someone they are 'strongly sexually attracted to' is anything other than an affair....

Meh....

OP, why are you being so cowardly? just split up with your girlfriend. If you want to ask like a single man, that's the honest thing to do. How would you feel if your girlfriend were confessing her attraction to other men- then going out with them?