Let's Get Ready! It's Dating Thread 103

[DrFoxtrot]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Absolutely freaky just because something is an explanation, doesn't make it a valid excuse.

You know Freaky I actually think now that it does not really matter WHY he did it - but that he APOLOGIZES for treating you like this. Who cares if he was embarrassed about the "not so great" sex or needed time in his man-cave or had/has doubts or was not that bothered??

Expectations of basic decency come with the territory and pulling back without a word is just not on.

Fucker.

Yes, especially as we had both agreed not to mess each other about and I'd explicitly said that I don't do hookups and that if we had sex, it would have to be in the context of something more and need to know he'd be around afterwards. And he did a whole song and dance about what a good guy he is and doesn't run away from problems etc etc.
Words are cheap though.

And having said all that, I still want him to come back with a big apology and for us to see each other on Sat...

I get it, I want Karmic to come back crawling with an apology too. Partly because I miss what we had, but also partly because I would hate to have been so wrong about him that he turns to be yet another frog.

So with a clearer head, the plan here is to 1) break rapport; 2) communicate standard in a non-whiny "take it or leave it" way and 3) sit back and watch what he does.

Partly because I miss what we had, but also partly because I would hate to have been so wrong about him that he turns to be yet another frog.

Yes, that's it, exactly.

Re the phone thing... I had a long phone call with Bacon the day after our first date, don't forget, and another one too. It's a good sign, certainly but I think I'd rather have consistent, good communication of whatever form.
But yeah, once you are into a relationship, then being able to phone is essential.

Communication especially by phone is a good sign but it can stop - M phoned & messaged me constantly... until suddenly he didn't any more..
Agree Jollyx one doesn't want to have been wrong :(

Freaky that’s a good message. It’s not accusing him, it’s enquiring and shows you’ve noticed the change.

In my own situation, we agreed to meet up on a fixed day (I don’t want to mention what it is for fear of tempting whatever fates are hanging around). But I'm thinking of going against all the good advice here, as I got the impression that she proposed that we have a break from each other for that period of weeks , and that there would be no contact in that period whilst we considered things. My feeling is that if I did contact her in the period, it would be interpreted as putting more pressure on her, and that would cause her to definitely end it. At the moment I do have a lot more flexibility in my time than she does, but I know the other external pressures she’s under (think lots of things to sort out all coming together at once) and I am hoping that by demonstrating that I can control myself, and not be needy before the next scheduled meeting, I will be capable of enjoying a relationship without pressurising her. If she does want to continue, I can then look at opening up communication without the bull in a china shop approach.

I do hear what you all say but believe that I’ve got to differentiate a normal time and this cooling off period. However, again its food for thought and thanks to all for taking the time to advise.

freaky uber awesome message! Go you. Keeping everything crossed if you want this to come back on track. Beware though please. Look after yourself.

So my RL conference iron has pinged me dates he is free. . Nerd fest alert.

I'm going to get on here tonight to catch up with everyone's dating antics.
My date went well I think. He showed up, on time. He seemed a bit nervous. But that could possibly be his disposition. He didn't ask me any questions about myself which I found a little weird. He readily answered all my questions though. There were a few awkward silences. Neither of us have been on a date for years though! He agreed we should do it again. He said at the end he "kinda feels like he's 12" which I thought was quite sweet. 😊

Thanks Sassy! Message was read about an hour ago but no response yet (I like to think he's taking the time to craft a careful, apologetic response...) So, back in wait mode...
Good news about your RL iron! When do you think it will be?

Out of the dates he has given me (5) the only one I can do without too much effort is tmrw. Am pondering on whether I'm making myself appear too available however by taking that one.
May just bite the bullet and see what happens.

Good luck freaky. Perfect message. If only everyone was as honest and just said what they meant.

sassy may as well? If you say none of the five dates suit he might think you're fobbing him off.

Freaky your message was classy, non challenging and set the standard. I heart you. You 'played a blinder' as my dad would say. Let's see what happens now.

Off up to Twix soon. Feeling ropey (tired) but with added butterflies!! Oh blinking heck....

Check you all tomorrow....

Evening everyone i am getting more and more convinced no one responds on match or pof anymore. Had a 3 day free membership from elite singles as it was my birthday but not much difference on there to the other sites!

Was it too keen to message my iron about 30 minutes after our date to say I'd had a good time and give him my mobile number? He hasn't replied but he was going to work after our date. Argh!

Oh but he read it!! 😲😲

I post on here and i get a response on match. Shame it was a closed response and nothing to open up the conversation!

And still no reply to the message read at lunchtime. So I guess the question now is go Angry Freaky on his ass or maintain a dignified silence? I am definitely doing nothing more today anyway.

Oh freaky. I think sit tight. Could he still be at work? There are days I don't get to my messages until 10/11pm because of client dinners.

Boom. Drinks thing (don't even know if it's a date) in for tomorrow after work. Worst case I get to geek out. Best case I get to geek out, flirt and have a crush. Each option is a winner. I'll give him a name tmrw if he looks like he could turn into an iron.

Nah, he'll be at the gym now. Usual pattern (pre last week anyway) was maybe a message after work at 6ish and then again after gym/dinner at 9ish. So there is still potential for him to message today I suppose
I really did not think that he was a coward. Fed up of cowardly men.