Let's Get Ready! It's Dating Thread 103

[DrFoxtrot]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Ooh Yey 314 go geddim...

Great news waving, your girls sounds great, so happy for you, don't leave us quite yet! We need inspiration!

Oh Waving, that's gorgeous news! See, it does go right sometimes! Also, yay for Handy swooning too!

Bacon and Karmic really need to sort themselves out.

Sorry for undergroundness, busy time of late with new job. CurlyMuso and I have rekindled a degree of flirtation, I've admitted to him that I want to see him again as more than friends, which he was delighted about, and we have another date on the 15th. We'd already bought tickets to go see Sigur Ros in August, as friends, but I think there's maybe potential for more.

I've sort of explained on the FB page, but my caution was as he has a degree of disability, and I got nervous about any possibility of manipulating his good nature, causing him any hurt. He's much more open and vulnerable than anyone I've ever known, but as I've said over on FB, he's also one of the kindest, biggest hearted, most intelligent and funny people I've met in such a long time, so going to give it a go and see where it leads.

Aww tanya that's great news! Keep us posted...

Hey waving! Glad things are still going so well with MTG and that the meeting with your girls was a success. I was supposed to be seeing Bacon on Saturday but that's kind of dependent on his replying to my messages...

Oooh, good luck with your 51 year old 314!

Tanya, CurlyMuso sounds lovely and you seem very tuned in to him (forgive the pun!) I hope it works out.

I've got my Instagram date tomorrow at 1pm!!

Now to read the thread....

Right I've replied to him. I have messaged about four men in the right age group today.

The young guys are keener though.

That's great news waving I second you staying for a bit for the morale boost!!

handy oh yay!! You must be so excited!!
Tanya hope it works out

Karmic and Bacon are manbabies.

314 How do you do it? Does your profile pic have "gives good head" as it's tagine? ! ;)

Tagine???? I meant tagline!! 😂😂

waving he's a local. I DMd him and asked him for a coffee 😊

Karmic and Bacon are manbabies

Wahahahahahahahahaha!

Ha! Yes, tis true! Manbabies that don't have the balls to say "actually, this isn't working for me". That's all it would take.

freaky but we all know that men, despite THEM liking a woman to be direct, can't actually (and I'm generalising...sorry bant reddish) be direct with us at all. If it means they might feel slightly bad about their behaviour they just wash over it, or ghost us. If it means they may end up provoking an emotional response in a woman that they perceive as negative (and may also risk putting them in a bad light) they will wash over it, or ghost us.

Men are odd. Women are odd. If everyone would just say exactly what they wanted it would make life so much easier!

What should I wear for my date tomorrow? Right before that I'm meeting my support worker (was under CMHT for PTSD!!) And right after I've got to go to school.

Jeans and yummy top?

Your best jeans, a fitted flatteringly cut top in a colour that suits you, and just loads of extra care with hair and make up.

Traffic, I know, I know - I'm jealous of men that it's so much easier for them to figure out. Men say that women string them along too, but I think that's different. I think they're chasing somebody who isn't interested when they say that.

But exceptions to the rule aside 9 times out of 10 if a woman goes out with a man again it's because she genuinely does like him and could see it going somewhere (obviously pending getting to know each other, and an attraction growing). As I discovered and rediscovered !! if a man goes on a second date with you it can be because he either things, wow, this has potential, this could be a thing, I want to get to know her more, or nope this is definitely not the woman for me but i'll ask her out again, kind of nice to have somebody to text/shag/go out with/stay in with before I find somebody better.

Yep that's what I was thinking 😊 I'm rubbish with daytime make up!!

Traffic, and it's interesting to me that I've been out with the 29 year old once and I can't bear to mislead him at all! I literally stopped any notions he had (that we'd be a thing, that we'd have sex) in their tracks instantly. I'm just not comfortable giving him any false hope. I have met this guy ONCE. I don't think I have any more integrity than is normal. Just the average amount for a woman.

Men are able to absolve themselves of responsibility for a woman's feelings for them much more easily. I suppose male posters will disagree but it has been my experience.

Oh yay Waving! I bloody love your updates! Well apart from the sister thing obviously. I think if you can manage a job, 6 kids, a horrible ex AND finding a decent man on Tinder, you can definitely set your sister straight!

Handy please get off that WTF bench, you deserve the swooning bench! Enjoy! It does sound lovely!

Scarf a full bench of irons looks to me like it is the way to go

I have not replied to the message Karmic sent last night (which was basically getting my schedule entirely wrong and telling me he could not see me this week) and he sent another one today to ask how my day was. I am not replying to that one either until tomorrow or maybe later, depending on how long I manage to sit on my hands. I feel like I am regaining some power though and boy that does make a difference.

Good call Jollyx. I don't know if Amy Young said this, mantra monday,, and it is monday! but 'not knowing what the fuck you want is unattractive.

SIt on your hands jollyx. I want to see what the result of mirroring his pulling back is. He pulls back, you pull back too. What will happen!? I realise your love life is not an experiment for my learning opportunity!

The fit 51 year old divides his time between two countries. This one (he can't stand the cold) and Portugal. Tbh, he sounds a bit too elusive. I like his profile and the look of him and he's responded with good humour but I'd eat my hat if we get as far as meeting!