First time poster - advice would be appreciated about a sensitive issue

[dustybrother]

Hello everyone, I am male and a first time poster here, I hope you don't mind me asking you all for some advice/guidance.

I've been married for about four years now, together for twelve and we have a 2.5 year old daughter. Very slowly of the course of our relationship my wife has become increasingly aggressive about things and can be very short with people. I on the other hand can be quite sensitive things and this has often led to arguments about one of us over-reacting to something or a particular situation.

On about 4 occasions over the past 5 years or so my wife has really lost the plot whereby she will hit out at me and I would have to hold her like you would a young child until she calms down. Things really came to a head about 5 months ago when she punched me in the head and on other parts of the body leading to some light bruising. I was driving at the time on the continent and I went through set a of lights when I probably shouldn't of done as I was confused by them. It wasn't a dangerous manoeuvre, nevertheless she screamed and shouted at me to stop, which I did, and then proceeded to punch me in the face hard. Her explanation is that she thought she was going to die. I am still in complete shock from the whole thing, and it has made me feel much more aggressive towards her which is completely out of character for me. I do not feel like sex with her at the moment as deep down as just don't want it, I'm so angry with her.

What do you think I should do?

Unfortunately the counsellor had to be cancelled today, so has been re-arranged for next week. I hope that counselling session went ahead and has was helpful to you Dustybrother.

I honestly just don't know what to do. We had a nice weekend together with the in-laws but back to reality today. I am so sensitive to her raising her voice now over anything and emotionally I've just completely gone into my shell. She is so much happier when she is with the in-laws, it is so hard sometimes having them so far away, I sometimes wonder if it might just be best if they move back overseas. Anyways, sorry for the rambling, things are just quite difficult at the moment.

Sorry you are finding things so difficult dustybrother. It's good you had a nice weekend.

Did you get to the counsellor last week as you had planned? You might be able to know what to do for the best if you had an outside person to talk to about all this.

I am a bit confused. Your wife is from abroad I take it? And your in laws also?
I sometimes wonder if it might just be best if they move back overseas I somehow thought they were already overseas. Did you mean it might be better for your wife and daughter to move back with them as she would be happier then?

kinddogstail- thanks for your message. Unfortunately I wasn't able to make it to the counsellor, but I am trying to get myself into a position where I feel up to going.

Yes my wife is from abroad as are the in-laws. She moved to London in 2006. Yes I meant that I think that she would be much happier if she were closer to her parents than the current journey that involves a 1 hr flight (c.5 hour journey in total).

So sorry Dustbrother as you seem depressed. If you could take that first step to go to the counsellor it might help a lot.

It must indeed be difficult for your wife to be far away from her parents with a very young child, and it is difficult for you that you are so unhappy and feel as though you are walking on egg shells.

Kinddogstail - thanks. I've sent you a pm, I hope that's okay.

Thanks for your message Dustybrother, I replied.

I cannot think what to suggest other than find a counsellor to help you sort out your feelings. It would be a start.