Jump right in! It's Dating Thread 102

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Good luck Handy!! she is hilarious haha

Tanya seeing as you and Karmic are both INFPs, will you play Guinea pig (in the nicest possible way ) if I need to crash-test some things I need to tell him? Like, "I know sometimes I sound like an insensitive ass. But I don't mean to trust me you will know when I do mean it".

Yep, of course, JollyX!

Good luck Handy

Good luck Handy.

Well, it seems my date with Pingu on Saturday didn't go as well as I thought, as I haven't heard a thing from him since! And it probably says a lot that I'm not at all bothered by that. At the end of the date he muttered something about letting him know if I wanted to meet up to go to a gallery or something, and I wasn't sure if it was a slightly awkward way of saying he'd like to see me again, or if he was suggesting that there wasn't a spark but he'd be happy to meet up as friends. Looks like it was probably the latter!

I've just done the personality test, and I'm a ISFJ-T. Same as you, Freaky!

Hello everyone
New here and rather inexperienced
What does it mean when they say do keep in touch as you part at the end of the first date?
Does it mean .. I'm not really interested .. or .. I kind of am interested but not sure if you are so leaving it up to you ..?

I have no idea! I guess I'd wait and see if he texted in the next couple of days, then maybe text him if you liked him. But it sounds a bit non committal.

Cheers Tanya

Goldfish argh that sucks..for Pingu. You are right: not genuinely interested = not worth the bother. Next!

Welcome IfYoureHappy! Did he come across as awkward/not really confident during the date? If so he might be checking whether you are interested before investing. Otherwise I would think he is not genuinely interested. In any case, I would hold off on the emotional investment before he has made it clear he wants to date you.

Loo update Handy?

Am in my PJs texting Karmic. I freaked out earlier because I was in said PJs and offered to drop by after his last meeting. I pretended not to have seen the text... cannot be bothered to make myself look human again after I have taken off makeup + bra but it was sweet.

Hello everyone!

Handy good luck for tonight. I think it's a great idea using tanya as your guinea pig!

Tanya good call with your ex and saying it needed a face to face conversation. I bet northerner is feeling just that little pang of jealousy regarding your date in the same bar.

314 do you ask dates what there MBTI type is? How do you get the info without sounding like you're ticking boxes?!

Goldfish if you're not that bothered about it, I would not engage in further contact and move on to the next iron (funny how I can suggest it to someone else but not make a decision when I'm dithering over Apple!!)

JollyX I also walked on eggshells in my previous life like Freaky, I would love to harness some of your ability to say it like it is. It takes effort to actually say what I think sometimes, it doesn't come naturally.

Ifyourehappy I agree with JollyP, it sounds non-committal. How do you feel about him? If he wants to see you again, he will contact you. So keep busy with your life and wait to see what happens. If you like him, try not to get hung up pining for him, and try not to text him .

I have put there instead of their in my post above

Thanks. Luckily I'm not really bothered tbh. I think in this instance he seem a bit interested at times in the eve. Maybe he was testing me somehow as I can be a bit aloof I think. I had it before with another ones one so just wondered if it was common.

Problem is, I don't really feel that interested in any of them. Doesn't seem easy getting to know someone from scratch in one evening.

I think that attitude will serve you well IfYoureHappy, it's when people get swept away and overexcited (like me ) that it's a problem. You will be able to maintain a healthy distance and any man that wants to be with you will have to work for it. You will feel interested when the right man appears.

Wow page 40 already and oh ffs this was meant to be the thread I'd get a date on but I've failed. The sum of my first months OLD experience has been partyboy first iron, nobody has really come close since, we hit it off really well but he cancelled on me an hour before our first date because he had to work. I was really probably overly shitty with him and deleted his arse refusing to reschedule as I was mad at being dicked about but have kind of regretted it ever so slightly since. Then mrkeen who super liked me, and bombarded me with messages and way too many compliments than were comfortable so after agreeing to meet him for a date one Monday evening I backed out because he was so far OTT it freaked me out. Next up mrlazy/fussy who I bloody knew was an arse yet I just treated it as practice with no expectation and ran with it. I did agree to go out with him Saturday night just for the fun of it, and was still disappointed when he bailed in the afternoon with shockingly shit excuses. Lastly superman my latest iron is adorable and we were due to meet this evening for the first time but he's had a bereavement and I've got a poorly son so it didn't happen. Plus I'm pretty sure we'll only ever be friends. So I'm still Billy no dates after 5 unsuccessful weeks with not even 1! what the feck is wrong with me

DrFoxtrot, I usually do, but not immediately. after one date, perhaps............. it seems less date-bot tht way, although with dr creepy, i knew before I met him he was esfp-a
he's the only one that i asked before i even met. but we clicked ON LINE . never has there been such a dichotomy between getting on with somebody on line and online as with him.

I must have date on the next thread.

Thanks again. Fancying them sounds like a good thing to me!

Lastnick, although you've not met anyone it sounds like you're learning the ropes well to me.

Hello everyone!!

Firstly, good luck Handy!!

Goldfish I would also ignore him and move on to your next iron...

Freaky I'm so, so pleased things are going so well with Bacon, it sounds so promising!!

Thank you Jolly for the link to the AY's clip.... Genuine Interest, Genuine focus or NOTHING is my new mantra and completely spot on with regards to Sherpa sadly. He did message last night briefly but still no mention about meeting up at all, even when I dropped a hint about this coming weekend. I had something major going on today and sent him a message on the way there; he hasn't even bothered to reply to ask how it went or to wish me good luck, just replied with a stupid laughing emoji so he can go now and f&*ck off to the nearest nursery adn go play with people his own age. He's had enough chances and I need a real man and not a boy.

In other news, I do have a promising new Tinder iron... yay me! Will call him PonyRider. Only one photo though (gorgeous headshot) and haven't asked how tall he is so I need to find a way of asking him to upload a couple more pics without sounding too shallow (rookie mistake meeting up with someone with only one pic, never a good idea....). I'm kids free this weekend and nothing planned on Saturday, would be good to get him to ask me out

Anyone out on dates tonight besides Handy?

Sounds good knowing I never get irons from tinder every match I've had just doesn't bother to send a message or reply to mine! I find it pointless when most clearly don't want to talk let alone meet! All my NEAR dates were from POF

This is a miracle iron Last, I have 57 matches on there that are apparently limbless and unable to message . I agree Tinder for me is on the whole a waste of time but I have done OKC, POF, Match etc for the last three years and I'm done with them. Oh and they never reply to my messages either, god knows why they're on Tinder on the first place!

And Last don't lose hope; OLD is like that ..... weeks of frustration and tumbleweed and then suddenly you find yourself having to juggle several dates with handsome men wanting to meet you all on the same day. It's a rollercoaster, give it time![smile}

314 I'm surprised DrCreepy's persona online didn't translate into real life. I usually find it very easy to get some sort of a rapport going with people online or in person, unless I'm not getting anything back from them. I need the feedback, banter and interest to stimulate me!

last it can be rubbish OLD and really feel like you are past scraping the barrel but Aknowing is right, it ebbs and flows. Why don't you think superman will be anything more than friends? Is it not worth meeting to check if there's chemistry?

Aknowing I love the flurry of excitement you get from a hot new iron! But I have fallen into the trap of meeting somebody with only seeing one picture you need a few photos to get a rounded view of what they'll actually look like.

I have matched with a gorgeous man for a second time as his tinder app crashed. I thought he'd just unmatched me. I'm not giving him a name yet as he's not moved properly into iron territory although we've exchanged some good messaged .

I've started the new thread - fingers crossed for good luck