Welcome to the House of Fun (and positivity!) - It's dating thread 100

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will.
12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now)
13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good.
14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

[JollyXmasJumper]

Sothat actually no, that just makes him a massive asshole for stringing you along. But I understand where you are coming from, I really do, and getting over it is indeed hard. Be kind to yourself, you will get there.

[SoThatHappened]

So how are you meeting all these guys?

[Mag314s]

I think it's about compatibility and connection just as much as ''better''. And background or shared references or shared humour, or just knowing that you're not censoring yourself around this person. LOOKS come in to it. Of course. But as MH says, if he went on one date with you, you're good looking enough. It's not that. The person he fell in love with is not ''better''. Or it's not that simple. Maybe she knows what it's like to be left handed in a world of right handed eople or something.

[Mag314s]

Nannyplums, I am reallyl interested in that theory. Is it a theory? It's my theory anyway. There was a tutor at my work last year and he had seven older sisters and women loved him. Men liked him too. He was straight. OH. MY. GOD he knew how to make women talk to him. He lapped it up.
Mr Canceller has three older sisters and there's something there, some OLDER SISTER thing. I also wish you could do a search for men with older sisters.

[Mom2K]

Whoo, dating thread 100! place marketing

[Mom2K]

Marking* blasted auto correct!

[ocelot7]

Waving :) :) :)

[ocelot7]

Nanny yes to meeting up in York :)
Who else is in the northern chapter of the house of fun?

[HandyWoman]

Hello all who has a date today?

Twix messaged me last night (we normally have a flurry of messaging in the late evening). He is already wanting to plan our next date on Saturday - he's coming here for a daytime walk plus evening date. That's only two days away! Delighted doesn't even come close.

The only slight spanner in the works is that our dogs will definitely not get on (mine is nervous and can't handle bouncy cockapoos) we chatted a bit about it but I'm not sure I would feel happy if my dog actually went for his - it could mean the end of a beautiful relationship! But he can't really leave his dog that long. The dogs will eventually get used to each other. I just hope it doesn't make the walk slightly stressful! but it may just have to be done.......

The thought of any other irons for me is ridiculous. Sorry thread, but I just can't. I'm just completely smitten with Twix. This was not part of the plan. I'm just really happy with how it all is. And the rest of my life is busy enough. But also realising this is still just the beginning and still just dating. Not a relationship yet....

[HuckfromScandal]

Morning all

Confused and anxious here today

Fwb declared love for me on Tuesday night, and then displayed jealousy last night, which I called him out on and he immediately apologised, but the man is great in bed, but a serial philanderer, and even if he was fully available for a relationship, I have said that there is no way I would date him.

mrstornoway and I are going skiing for the weekend, in a group, but this is last chance saloon on this one. If there is no vibe, he has to go...
And
My big news is that on a night out I really connected with someone I have known for ages, and fancied for ages, but he is married, and really, it will never end well and I just feel heartsick and confused....

[NannysPlums]

Mag I definitely believe there's something in the sister thing. Gentle is very loving towards his younger sister. She had a baby recently and he sent her the most wonderful message. He understands about periods etc (rather than being the sort of bloke who just bangs on about you being crabby) He knows how to talk to women. He's in touch with his feminine side, softly spoken, you could almost say camp but very straight. Great in bed. Its very, very sexy.

ocelot Yay to a York meet up. Anyone else who could make it to York????

I have another theory......everyone should take the Myers Brigg personality test. I'm an ENJF. On my first date with Gentle noy only did he know what I was talking about, but he also informed me that he was an INFP. They just so happen to be a great match. So, ask your irons to take the test...

[HandyWoman]

Oh Huck much confusion. Do yourself a favour and eliminate all thoughts of the married one.

If MrStornaway is a tenuous prospect maybe you need more irons?

Emotions are logical though, are they (see my post above)

I have this cheesy phrase in my head this morning: 'the heart wants what the heart wants'

[HandyWoman]

aren't*

[HandyWoman]

I'm a MH Failure.

[BatshitCrazyWoman]

Oh Huck what is it with these FWBs and falling in love - that's just happened to me.Steer clear of the married man, it wwon't end well.

To put a spanner in the 'men with sisters' theory, my EA fuckwit manipulative, bullying STBX has lots of sisters - it did NOT make him a better person/date/husband!!!

[NannysPlums]

Batshit He sounds truly awful. Bit like my ex. Who has a sister... there are always going to be exceptions to the rule. I think it's like the nature / nurture thing. And obviously doesn't work if they have narcissistic tendencies or similar.

Minefield. Numbers game. But it can be done. There. Are. Lovely. Men. Out. There.

[BatshitCrazyWoman]

That's true, Nanny. He has a few brothers, too, so now I'm in a lovely ex-wives club with the survivors of his fucked up family!

[Trills]

First date with MrFrance tonight - I DID send the first message because the sort of people who message me first on OKC seem to be the sort of people I don't want to talk to.

And because the sort of person who is bothered by me messaging first probably is also not someone I am interested in talking to. (others may be more lenient on this front)

[Trills]

I don't know how you all have time to read 150 posts a day AND make sensible replies AND have multiple irons on the fire.

If we are voting (which we're not) I am in favour of "If he says he doesn't want a relationship, he doesn't want a relationship with you". It's truer. And less likely to lead to a hope of "but maybe soon he'll be in the right place for a relationship and then he will want one with me". Because he won't.

[HandyWoman]

Oh waving it's nice having company on the MH failure bench. Although over the past three weeks you've been an MH stalwart, so yours is only a minor lapse.

So going with the flow is the mantra, there is the other part of the brain which thinks about these things. My therapist says need burg, listen to both.

Seeing therapist today. Am a lot calmer than I've been the last two weeks. With just a hint of ongoing insecurity about Twix.

[HandyWoman]

burg? My autocorrect is Swedish? both