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Original poster

Welcome to the House of Fun (and positivity!) - It's dating thread 100

999 replies

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 16/03/2016 15:12

The Rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.
OP posts:
NannysPlums · 17/03/2016 08:33

waving it's a funny one. Gentle and I had the same conversation around date 4 - albeit distance not so great, it's still an issue. I think it needs to be brought up. But the bottom line is, all you can do is go with the flow and if it's meant to be then it will work its self out. Or rather, you will both make it work. Its a new concept for me. I'm the sort of person who sees a sticking point and runs.... its good though. Going with the flow. Feels really positive. Gentle calls it positive risk taking. Smile

ocelot7 · 17/03/2016 08:56

I call it being cautiously reckless. ... :)

WavingNotDrowning · 17/03/2016 09:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeaInACup · 17/03/2016 09:06

i don't think either of you are MH failures Handy and Waving you're just human. Sometimes I think we can read/watch and analyse too much instead of just enjoying what's in front of us. If it doesn't work, then we learn from it and move on. It's sounds like you're both in very good places right now, enjoy Smile

NannysPlums · 17/03/2016 09:13

I agree with tea

Gentle called me his girlfriend after 3 or 4 dates.

I don't see it as a MH fail. MH is for when they are being twats. MTG / Twix / Gentle have not displayed any twattish behaviour.

And the universe shall decree that they never will.

Amen.

TeaInACup · 17/03/2016 09:14

His girlfriend? Wow!

Ha ha I'd keep on with the MH texts then....

So, are you getting married here or in the states? Grin

DrFoxtrot · 17/03/2016 09:15

I don't think either of you are MH failures Handy and Waving, are mooseburgers being served yet and does it feel too fast? I think that's the key. Although MTG sounds like he's dishing out the mooseburgers Grin he sounds lovely.

Freaky you were right about a sudden rush after a quiet spell! I juggled my photos about on tinder and I have two irons!! And more matches that may become irons! I'm so happy and it will help me forget my slow fader.

One of them I'm not sure I will be physically attracted to in the flesh but message wise we click. The other was one I sent a message to first on tinder, he's gorgeous but new to dating after ending a relationship and I feel he needs a bit of coaxing. I'm not sure if that will go anywhere but I'm enjoying the chatting.

Definitely feeling more positive today!

SuperFlyHigh · 17/03/2016 10:09

Can I just get a straw poll please not heard anything from Mr Journo (we were supposed to meet Tuesday but not set in stone).

To be honest although there was a bit of chemistry not much else apart from chat.

So should I say hi, forget him as a bad lot or other?

brabit I agree from the last thread 100% and don't know why I've done it either, if they don't want a relationship or there's a big red flag or even a pink one they're there for a reason....

waving I'd meet MrGreenwich, ignore soho and date MTG only life doesn't work like that does it?!

I have signed up to Lovestruck but not paid a fee yet but there's interest...

MrsRolandRat · 17/03/2016 10:19

Super I'd probably pass on MrJourno
If he was keen I'd have thought he would have been in contact.

Mag314s · 17/03/2016 10:44

nanny, I love MBPT as well, there are some very funny (but true!) observations about the different types on www.thoughtcatalog.com

waving enjoy the peace for a few weeks! You need the rest. You've been a dynamo. Is there more to the texts than I remember!? I seem to recall thinking that his texts were aimed at jackthelads younger men, the sort not over-burdened with extra intelligence.

I am dating the thread right now but back in real life, I've ticked off a few things I really needed to get on with.

I am going to sit down with a cup of tea and trawl through profiles and message about 15 men with GOOD profiles this weekend. Try and stir up a couple of GOOD irons.

Original poster
IToldYouIWasFreaky · 17/03/2016 10:52

Just a quickie as I am supposed to be studying today and am being v strict with myself...but Bacon messaged this morning Grin Not much detail, just to say he flew back this am and is at work.

Another win for positive vibrations!

OP posts:
DrFoxtrot · 17/03/2016 10:56

Excellent news Freaky! At least he's made contact.

Good plan 314. Does anybody else get some good irons then stalk them on Facebook and almost get put off? I need to just get out there and meet them in real life!!

JollyXmasJumper · 17/03/2016 11:05

Hello hello thread!

Nothing much to report here, Maple is being quiet and MrOrganizedYogi is being lovely even though he is not big on texting. I will be adding "decent communication skills" to my requirements for the ideal match.

Yay on the new irons Fox! Going on a Tinder swiping rampage is the best antidote to twattish behavior!

Super how long has it been since the last text?

Handy I love how the only thing standing between you two is a bouncy cockapoo haha

Waving completely agree with Nanny - positive risk taking all the way! Plus, it depends how old are the kids, but they tend to study abroad more and more so it is completely possible you all end up regrouping in the same country. And "girlfriend" definitely sounds like he is a happy victorious moose hunter!Sorry

I kind of agree with the sister theory, most of the men I have dated had sisters and were comparatively a little less clueless than the rest. MrOrganizedYogi is very close to his older sister and her kids, I like that. We actually had a bonding moment over me teasing him with something and turns out his sister said the exact same thing. I think he activated puppy mode right after that.
Maple on the other hand is the epitome of clueless and has only one brother that he barely ever sees.

Nanny the MBTI test is very good I think. I need to tell MrOrganizedYogi to take it, I do not think he has. Gentle sounds like a very nice guy!

Huck you deserve much more than a MrUnavailable soaking up your headspace and blocking the way for someone that is right for you to come along.

Happy dating Trills!

Mag314s · 17/03/2016 11:10

I'm tempted to email mrcanceller. but he didn't reply to my email telling him there was no need for an apology. but maybe that's because I've nothing else to do. I'll make a cup of tea. watch some you tube clips about LOA - I've been meaning to do that for ages.

pumpkinmoon1 · 17/03/2016 11:50

Handy - Can you both keep the dogs on a lead to start with? This is something I worry about with my dog. If my date goes well tonight with Caesar Milan I can see my dog being a problem. He has the same dog but mine can be a bit nasty to other dogs. But on a positive note, he is a dog trainer so that should help.

Waving - Happy that you like MTG as much as you do. How does it feel to be his girlfriend? Wink How do you get rid of the ones you're not interested in when you have had a date with them?

Tigsy - So sorry for your loss but good to see you are starting to date again!

And just in general, I agree to run for the hills when they say they don't want a relationship. This is a mistake I have made and one I won't be making again.

I haven't had a first date in about 9 months, so can any of you dating gurus give any tips on how to act? What to say? How not to be so nervous?

TigsytheTiger · 17/03/2016 12:05

so, my half irons are gradually fading/being faded out but just got a text from a number that isn't or is no longer stored in my phone which says:- I'm ready for date 2 and also date 3 Smile. given that my last date was with a complete flake who I am not on good terms with, and I can't think of any first dates that could have prompted that message, I can only assume it has been sent to me in error! I replied with an oops sorry you aren't in my contacts, who is this?

they haven't replied, so I followed up with oh, go on tell who you are, as this was obviously sent to me in error Grin Grin

Intrigued, have googled and put into FB but nothing - stalker? moi? never!

JollyXmasJumper · 17/03/2016 12:18

Ooh pumpkin I missed that you are also on a date tonight! I think the best tip I ever got was to step away from collecting facts about the guy and instead ask him for opinions on those facts. Like, why did he become a dog trainer? You will learn a lot about what drives him, what are his goals and what kind of person he is by doing that. Thank you MH. Oh and remember that as cute as he is, you are the prize here, you are there to see if he fits your bill, not the other way around. That being said, another good tip is to showcase your own "value" by showing those "unique pairings", aka be everything he should be looking for, sexy/flirty, smart, funny, caring..etc. talk about a subject that interests you, flirt a bit, talk about your friends/family, tease him.. Those work in practice. Thanks again MH. Good luck, don't panic, you will do great and I hope he matches up!

Mag314s · 17/03/2016 12:24

Freaky that's amazing!

I've hidden my profile. I logged back on to look for men with good profiles and it's all the same sad boring faces again, men who think they can do better than a slim 45 year old with her shit together.

I want to focus on my rl goals, find out about the LOA, raise my vibrations, join a gym, buy a car, marie kondo my kitchen and documents, enjoy my childfree week, go out with my girlfriends.

DrFoxtrot · 17/03/2016 12:32

Great post Jolly and good luck pumpkin!

I've managed to acquire a third iron who was debating whether I lived too far away for him and whether it is a problem so, trying to channel MH, I said I thought I was definitely worth the extra effort and that if it was a problem for him, he would just have to let me slip through his fingers! It worked and his next message was 'I have to meet you'. Previously I would have been saying things like 'it's not too far' in an almost pleading way. I'm definitely feeling more positive.

Tigsy i do like a message mystery! I had one a few weeks ago and was convinced it was my hairdresser date from a couple of months ago stalking me on a random number. My friend Facebook searched the number and it was all innocent! I didn't know previously that you could do that so I've unlinked my number from my Facebook account. Then men can't search for me that easily. Your mystery message writer may have already done that!

Mag314s · 17/03/2016 13:13

Interesting DrFoxtrot! I love the way you phrased that.

Original poster
IToldYouIWasFreaky · 17/03/2016 13:25

Oh good work Foxtrot! Handled beautifully!

OP posts:
Original poster
IToldYouIWasFreaky · 17/03/2016 13:27

And I have unlinked my phone number from my FB account too, there's no benefit to me to link it and it means that I can't be traced via my phone number

OP posts:
Mag314s · 17/03/2016 13:30

oh, I should do that. :-o

TigsytheTiger · 17/03/2016 13:44

Foxtrot liking the slip through your fingers response! it's amazing how many people don't realise their phone is linked to their fb account, I often have people appear as suggested friends before we have even met in RL.

So mystery texter tells me that we have met for a date and the message was meant for me - I think it is someone who has a new phone. Potentially it could be one guy, but we had a single date about 3.5 weeks ago, he wasn't for me and after a polite nice to meet you text we both left things and I haven't heard from him since - seems a bit odd to pop back up later with a message like that, but if it isn't him, then I have no idea - in a way I prefer not knowing, rather than be disappointed when I find out the truth! Blush

pumpkinmoon1 · 17/03/2016 13:58

Thanks for the tips Jolly :) I hope it goes well. I might have a tipple before I meet him to calm the old nerves! He wants to go somewhere to play pool so that should take the pressure off a bit. I always find it so weird that the person you chat to over text turns into a real person when you meet them. Daft I know!