Welcome to the House of Fun (and positivity!) - It's dating thread 100

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will.
12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now)
13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good.
14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

[DrFoxtrot]

Bold fail tanya and now my work here is done.

[DrFoxtrot]

Filling the thread...[tanya] that iron sounds very nice indeed!

Matches and irons are coming in waves here - a few quiet days then a flurry then it's quiet again.

[DrFoxtrot]

That's if I can actually copy and paste on my phone

[DrFoxtrot]

Oh no Handy I'm glad it was sorted quickly.

I'm copying my post above and pasting it on the new thread. I feel a bit weird that the new thread is underway and this isn't full yet.

[HandyWoman]

Yeah Foxtrot I also get that impression re MTG. The only answer is to keep a bit back. But that adds to the angst.....

Daughter is fine, I barked at her last night to make her own spaghetti hoops on toast then she came into the living room haemorrhaging after slicing her finger on the open tin lid. She nearly fainted. Stopped it bleeding right enough last night, but it needed glueing really. A&E were fab and quick and we came away with an Easter egg! Woop!!

[DrFoxtrot]

Waving I've had that happen before when they seem to go off you as quickly as they are on you. I'm not sure what the answer is with that, it's more about their behaviour and I don't think you can change it. But you can protect yourself if they do burn out by trying not to get swept away. I think being wary is good. I do get the impression though that this is just MTGs personality and he's not likely to change or go off you!

[tanyadm]

Oh my goodness, the PHD 6.6 iron is also a psychotherapist.

[tanyadm]

Also, I bob between the thread and the FB page, find both useful and super-supportive.

[tanyadm]

Aye, agree with Sassy, I still think of myself as a newishbie, having been in the threads since end of December. Find the mix of new people and others' experiences to be really useful.

[HandyWoman]

I find the fb group harder to keep up with (as per waving) so stay on the thread. If I post on here I can keep up. I'm a simple soul.....

Feeling a bit pants with a cold. Missing Twix. Been to A&E with eldest daughter and cut finger. The kids are making untold mess everywhere. Am over the Bank hol and can't wait to return to work!!!

[DrFoxtrot]

Hello from me! I feel like I've missed loads and am attempting a catch up. Welcome to all the new faces, although I feel a bit strange saying that as I've only been here three threads or so myself .

Sassy I didn't realise you also had an iron named rescue, I think you had the name first! I have a MrRescue who I'm planning to meet this week. I cancelled a coffee date last week because of an ill child. The only problem is, the longer time goes on, the more certain I am that I will not be physically attracted to him. Do you think it would be kinder to let him down now or meet him anyway?

I do think being full on at the start can be a red flag in some circumstances. I agree if men are saying things like 'you're the one for me' 'I'd love to take you to see my parents farm' when you've not even met, these men are more likely to build that dream relationship in their heads and as lacoba said (I think it was lacoba) you can't live up to it. Full on passion without the dreamy future stuff is not a red flag I don't think.

Waving I can understand why you've messaged the tinder matches, I also seem to need that attention but I'm trying to tell myself I don't! I don't think there's harm in chatting with the matches but MTG would probably be gutted if you arranged any dates.

Freaky I agree a lighthearted message later along the lines of deja vu or him obviously having excellent taste.

As well as MrRescue I have been nurturing a couple of new irons. I am particularly excited by MrBath who is local, attractive, can use grammar well and we have exchanged numbers! The volume of messages has been lower than for other matches but I think he's quite straightforward. He's working away this week and said he will text to arrange a date when he's back. So I'm leaving it to him now.

There's also MrGify who is a bit too far away for me but he pursued me and has won me round. He suggested yesterday that we meet this week when he's in my area. He's potentially free on Wed so I said that sounds good, shall we arrange something and I've not had any further messages . I'll update later if there's any concrete plans.

I've a few lovely looking matches so I may try to strike up some conversations later.

[BatshitCrazyWoman]

I just posted on the new thread

But to add to what I posted on the other thread last I've only had dates with two irons so far - the first I didn't feel attracted to at all, so no kissing. The second person was an alcohol-free lunchtime date, so there was a little kiss at the end. Just do what you feel like - I can't kiss someone I don't feel attracted to, so it's a good indicator for me as to whether it's a goer or not! We'll see what happens tomorrow morning (another daytime first date) ...

[TooSassy]

I'm a regular and not on the FB group. I don't use FB much and prefer the thread tbh.

To the relative newbies, please, there is nothing cliquey about this thread. There is a group that have been here a while so we have a little more history. If anyone asks for advice or support, it is openly given. To anyone. So join in, post away and ask questions.

last hmmm. Re the snogging. I haven't on a first date but that is mainly because I haven't wanted to. If I wanted to, I'm in the stage that I absolutely would. What's the worst that could happen?

handy of course it's ok!!! Don't leave the thread. My irons are quite unintentional I can assure you. Was surprised to hear from them over the weekend. Nice surprise though.

freaky make him work for this! I'd just be totally tongue in cheek and banter with him.

Yay catty!!!

waving it will still be lovely to be back in contact!!! Hold tight, you're nearly there!

Have a great rest of bank holiday peeps!

[MrsRolandRat]

And just to add trills the Facebook group I set up only about 3 weeks ago so it's relatively new and we certainly aren't a clique.

Some of the regular posters on here prefer to keep it to the mumsnet thread, where as others like myself find it easier to keep up of everyone's dating experiences via the FB group.

[MrsRolandRat]

Last and trills or anyone else here.

If you wish you join the Facebook group please PM me and I can add you. I first have to add you as my FB friend to add you to the group. Then feel free to defriend me afterwards.

I find it easier to keep up to date on the FB group rather than here. I only use my phone and scrolling through loads of posts can be time consuming

[lastnicknamefree]

tanya the FB book sounds like a good idea when you say it like that, you can post pics of outfit choices for general opinion and screenshot anything more private to be shared. This is a very public forum after all. I sometimes forget that!
And ooh go catty what number date was it with this guy? Is he a new dater for you or is it turning into a poss relationship? So glad it went well!!

[HandyWoman]

Ooh catty

[tanyadm]

Trills, please don't take offence, the FB group is not some sort of exclusive clique, people on the thread can request to be added to it. It's just an addendum to this thread, so we can have more 'real time' conversations with more detail and with pictures, which the lack of privacy of this thread obviously doesn't allow. It's also nice to put faces to names!

[cattychatty]

Sorry just home had a really good night obviously. He's lovely and funny and v keen.

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

Sorry Trills, I didn't mean to cause offence. It's just easier (and more private) to post the actual content of the message rather than be vague.

But yeah, he's got my number so not sure what's going on with the Tinder thing. Plan of action is to reply later with something breezy and let him take the lead with regards to setting up a date.

[lastnicknamefree]

waving I fear you may be right... I'm pretty open either way, it would only happen if the date went exceptionally well and naturally fell into it in saying goodbye but it's not often it does. Just go with the flow I guess, you can't plan these things!