Welcome to the House of Fun (and positivity!) - It's dating thread 100

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Oh wow you have made me feel so much better now I know it's not just me that's a crazy person

last you have certainly made me feel more sane and I am honoured to be amongst fellow doubters!

jolly that's terrible about the married guy, I suddenly feel very lucky.

I'm not sure POF is for me and while I'm not completely against OD I think I'll have to try another site. Any recommendations? I've had tinder recommended but I'm quite worried about it linking to my Facebook account as I'm quite private and wouldn't want my friends (some of whom are workmates) knowing I'm on it. Is there a way around this?

mrslannister have you tried OK Cupid? I'm on both, and they are very different!
Both free too! Have a nosey

There's no way of anyone knowing that you are on Tinder unless they are also on there! It doesn't link back to FB. It's only when you set it up , it pulls your profile pic, name, age and workplace from FB. But you can edit your pics and workplace on Tinder. So, it's really quite safe.

This is the website I'm using - I've been on a wine tasting too last year. Being in London is very helpful when it comes to there being activities going on.

Waving, Ikea is possibly my least favourite place in the world.

I've created thread 101, as we're headed 1000-wards.

Gah, I need some new Tinder lines! The "what are you up to today?" conversations always just fizzle out...

Is that your starting line, or a line to restart a conversation that you're already in?

Aargh Lacoba I'd be at a loss to know what to say to MrDiamond at this point. Have you just kept quiet? I think some guys come across all 'I'm coming off the sites' as a manifestation of their insecurity rather than as a sign of their commitment.... What does everyone think? It's a very 21st century, online dating phenomenon...

Freaky sounds as though you'll have to sit tight re Bacon or you could say a friendly hello?

Hope the afternoon date goes well Beth fingers X'd...

Hi everyone

Checking in. Had a fab weekend just relaxing with the girls. Wow tons happening on the thread!
Welcome to all the newbies! Lovely to have the thread so busy!

waving I'd hold tight a few more days before replying to msg's. MTG is nearly back!!!!

lacoba in your shoes I would pick up the phone and speak to him. Don't message about this, just be open and ask him what you want to ask him. If he is serious about you, he will be fine with that and will be open about what is going on there. The reality is that he's still on POF, at some level he's keeping a back up option. But don't back away without a clear adult convo. He owes you that much.

catty yay to loo update! jolly and anna positive news on your dates too! last best of luck on today's date. beth good luck also!

freaky there's something in the water re people breaking up! Hope your friend is ok.

lannister I think the perils of all sites are the same. Grow skins and just persevere is my only advice.

My updates.

Nada from Scot all weekend. . I instigated some msgs Friday night and as always he replied. Nothing since. . Boys.
Other irons I've been simmering on the other hand have all msgd me over Easter weekend.

rescue is out of he country still but trying to arrange something
architect is also waiting until I am back in London to arrange dinner.
french is booked in for dinner in a few weeks. drinks with tree2 also booked as are drinks with yettobenamed. Am toying with messaging mrtattoo and meeting him for a weekend coffee next weekend.

Time to move some 'simmerers' to the front burner and start the deselection process for the next front runner.

I'm coming to the conclusion that MH is spot on ladies. The less you actually care in reality, the more likely they are to pursue. Who knew.

Right off too gym. Will check in later for more loo updates!

So more first date or general date etiquette questions from me, sorry for the indulgence! So I may have shaved a few years off my age because being 44 I got every knocking on 60 year old pot bellied grandad messaging me so I lowered it to 39.. But now I'm starting to actually meet these men, I'm left wondering when you tell them of this? Before you meet? First date? Or when it actually looks like it's going somewhere beyond the litmus paper testing? Hoping I'm not the only one who's told porkies!!
Also, is there any rules MH or otherwise about first date snogging? Hugging, brief side hug, air kiss, hand holding etc. Gosh I feel about 15....

First date snogging - only if you really fancy them :o
(my rule - no idea what MH says)

sassy I like your style! If I wasn't restricted by kids and babysitting issues I'd be out on dates with different irons too! Love this, how exciting!

trills well obviously only then!!! unless very drunk
And own rules are good too!

last I think MH would just advise you flirt, try and get in a bit of physical touch etc and see where the chemistry takes you?

No idea re age but I would hazard a guess that honesty is the best policy for a potential relationship type dating scenario.. For something less serious maybe not so important?

Sassy frustrating re Scot but I'm impressed with your irons.

Feel a bit of a fraud languishing on this thread with no irons. I still absolutely need hand holding re Twix. Hope that's ok......

Trills Not my usual starting line. I do usually try to come up with something a bit more interesting. But usually a couple of messages in either me or the guy will do the "what are you up to today?" thing and it's just DULL as the answer clearly is sitting round the house in my PJs, swiping through Tinder! I feel like a need a good few conversation starters that aren't too cheesy...

Handy I am tempted by a friendly hello, especially as we just re-matched on Tinder...could send a message there about deja vu or something? Although my gut is saying sit tight. He knows where I am and that I am interested in meeting up, I think the next step needs to come from him.

Last Dunno about first date snogging! I never have but I certainly wouldn't rule it out. Re the age thing, I'd probably tell before meeting up. I'd be a bit miffed if I turned up for a date and the guy admitted there that he'd told a lie on his profile.

Sassy Glad you had a good weekend! And well done with the multiple irons!

Message from Bacon on Tinder!

WOOP for Freaky!

YAY FREAKY! Good message?

Not a bad message. Will post it on the FB group, might need some help to come up with a suitable response...

I know some of you who have been on the thread a long time do have a Facebook group, but it would be kinder to those of us who are not in it if you pretended that you didn't. Or at least didn't mention it on the thread.

Bacon has your phone number right? It's a bit of a shame that he didn't message you directly - he needed Tinder to "remind him" that you are there.

But maybe he just thought "I've left it to long, she won't want to speak to me now", and matching on Tinder gave him hope that he had not left it too long. :)