Welcome to the House of Fun (and positivity!) - It's dating thread 100

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Funny. Snap with Trills I posted mine you'd all ready posted.

So sorry for crashing right in for hand holding and advice, but please can I join in...for hand holding and advice!! So I'm recently single, thought I'd get over it by having a bit of lighthearted fun and distraction, joined POF a week ago. After a slow start during the week things have ramped up to an interesting level since Friday and I have 2 irons messaging me both totally different and nice in their own way but very much opposite. I have my first date with one tomorrow night! So the guy I have a date with, I'll call him partyboy because he seems to have been out at various social events and parties all weeke and is clearly the life and soul! Well he's my age (44) has only one grown up daughter, and lives quite far away from me but it doesn't seem to bother him and he was very keen to meet ASAP. The other iron I'm calling him single dad is local and much more on my level because he is a lone parent of 2 young kids full time. Much better match on paper, but I'm not sure I fancy him from his pics and between us and our children we'd be looking at play dates in a soft play or park which is cool but nothing suggested yet. Sooooo if anyone can answer a few questions from a total newbie I'd be grateful! 1) what is a moose burger 😄😄 2) how far is TOO far to be dating someone? Partyboy lives an hour and a half away or just over. I asked him if he was put off by this or the fact I have a 3 year old 24/7 he said no way 😉 3) both men are very flirty and the banter over what's app has been a bit over keen for me in that department. I'm all good with it once we've actually met but not keen on telling someone they look kissable or that I'd love to be waking up next to them etc etc until we've at least established if there's any bloody chemistry! Are all blokes like this? Do you reciprocate with flirty banter even before you've met and risk egg on your face if they don't float your boat in person after you've been more or less sexting for 2 weeks? 😳😳😳 Gahh so many questions but I'm sure nobody wants my essays!! Thank you I'm advance! Oh god now I have to actually shave don't I 😂😂

Moose burger is an acrcoym for having sex:)

Em, nothing wrong with some flirting, sexting can be fun I've found it tends too bring a sexual tension when you meet first all fine if you fancy them in real life id think not so great if you don't fancy them.

I guess, if you meet and don't like each other have a drink and make your excuses.

Thanks ciao for the reply, and moose burger 😂😂

I think phrases like 'I'd like to wake up next to you' are inappropriate when you've not met. As you say - you need to check the chemistry first! No, not all blokes are like this. Some like the thrill of the chase and are not seeking a relationship so I would take the 'not at all' bothered about full time care of a 3 year old with a pinch of salt....

...which brings me to mooseburgers. The metaphor is that men like to work to hunt down their 'prey'. Delivering mooseburgers is a general metaphor for making it too easy for the guy which can have the effect of making yourself seem like too little of a challenge (therefore not girlfriend material).

Anything from always texting them even when they are very inconsistent with communication, or making yourself too available, falls into this category. Having sex too soon can be a form of mooseburger but not necessarily.

We have the wonderful JollyX (IIRC) to thank for that brilliant analogy.

The question of 'how far is too far' geographically is completely dependent on lifestyles and circumstances and the sort of relationship you are seeking.

Moose burger explanation obviously 😉😉

handy that's a brilliant explanation of the term, thank you! Hmm I may be guilty of this a little, as I alway respond to partyboys message as soon as he sends them and maybe I should not seem so available! He did actually ask me if i was free today, for coffee this afternoon and then again tonight if I could get a sitter, it was me who said no but I could manage tomorrow. Is that acceptable? 😄😄

Watch yourself there with PartyBoy, lastnickname - have fun but watch yourself, y'know, don't be railroaded into anything Unless you are after NSA obv. Depends what you're looking for.

Happy dating, Easter Sunday daters....

Singledad however I have left since this morning and not messaged him back yet so am doing OK in that one. I get the distinct impression he is a OLD pro and has many many irons so I knew to play it cooler with him. I never usually send first messages, always wait to be contacted but do respond straight away when they do. I'm so excited but nervous for my date tomorrow! And yes you are right handy saying he's not put off at all is an easy comment to make before he actually realises the implications of it day to day or realises he's not on to an easy shag and so drops the throw away comments

last you did good to stick to a tomorrow date. Keep the mooseburgers in the freezer.

handy I'm not sure what I'm after tbh. As I'm pretty fresh from a break up, I'm happy just dating and having fun, it doesn't need to be a relationship as such. But not sure about ONS, will make it clear I'm not that kind of gal. usually

I will! Firmly frozen with no signs of a defrost on the horizon. Love this thread, have been reading all week. Thank you for the warm welcome!

The man with good taste in TV from yesterday messaged me again today, which is good, but now he's off out again. I wonder if he's been reading advice about seeming like you are very busy and popular :)

trills partyboy is most definately not pretending to be busy and popular, he sent me several selfies of himself having a seemingly wonderful evening! Make we wonder of course why he's actually single if he's got that bloody many friends etc! 🙄. Any nickname for your yet?

He can have a nickname once we have a date planned! I don't really think he's PRETENDING, I expect he really is busy. I am having an unusually quiet weekend so need to make sure that I don't come across as someone who never does anything (I often do stuff, just not today).

Also the very full-on ones are quite often the ones who disappear without a trace without a word after a couple of weeks.

I think sometimes they get carried away, build up a picture of how your life together will be and then you have no chance of living up to it.

Evening folks & a Happy Easter [tbusmaile] to you all!

Handy it was great to hear that Twix was 'checking' in with you, even though he's doing family stuff . That sort of contact is good for the soul!! Ooh and I did the 'love language' test and came out as 'Quality time' although, given that me and Diamond live 50+ miles away, could explain that .

Last welcome to the sane house- lol. Re partyboy & the distance between you, I think you'll soon find out how 'keen' he is, as you're the one with a little un, so clearly more difficult for you to travel. Enjoy the date, but treat it as a litmus test maybe??

Waving I'm avidly rooting for you and MTG . I know that you've said you're worried that the 'gap' in communication is worrying you, but remember that he's the one at sea (no pun intended) and typer the land based person, so who is likely to be more fraught? Anyway, let's go with 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' until told otherwise. P.s hope that the mum and wine night went well.

JollyP hope the date goes well tonight

I have an update on Mr Diamond but will go and kick myself, before sharing - lol.

I've had a super quiet bank holiday also waving and its started to get to me, I'm normally a really busy and will feel more comfortable when the working week kicks in.

Twix has been busy with his family all weekend. But has stayed in touch and called me a little while ago for a chat. And we made plan to see each other on Saturday He is very busy with work so it's quite poss that we won't see each other on Tuesday but he said he'll let me know. Am very very very happy with that. I said it was lovely of him to call and he liked that I think. Baby steps with us! But progress I reckon!

Don't keep us in suspense Lacoba!!

Thanks lacob litmus test indeed! And do share your update! Hope jollyp is having a good date
waving it does sound like you could use a good night out with friends maybe?

Yeah, it's not only the phoning but also the planning. It's a big thing for me. I've felt unable to raise the idea of planning ahead. Partly as we only communicated by text. When you're in phone contact the planning ahead seems more normal. I think he was nervous about calling. I think we're both a bag of nerves with each other.

Am exactly the same, waving - normally busy then bored after 36hrs of being at home!

Waving you have a very busy life- it may not be the my busy life is always exciting but who gives a damn!

MTG will be missing you he'd be a fool not to!

Me and Diamond had our first 'disagreement' last night - . Too much booze as a first disclaimer, but...

He was having problems with his phone (iPhone update shite) and I told him about the double tap (gets shot of apps previously stored). He gave me his phone, and POF showed up. I left it for an hour or so, but then challenged.

He said that he occasionally looked out of "curiosity". I am ashamed to say that I lost it a little. I banished him to the spare room, but this morning he swore blind that it was just them emailing him and that he's not been messaging anyone. He also said that he would "try to delete the app".

Now, I've had Zoosk send me emails since I've deleted my account, that show men in you're area, and I have looked. It's a load of shite, as in them trying to entice you back, but I haven't needed to log in to check this out. So I'm not sure what I'm asking really

I am now messaging a third iron, I sent him one in the week and had no reply but he's just sent me a nice message saying he was sorry but been busy with his kids these holidays etc. He seems nice too! Oh dear doesn't it get complicated having 3/4 irons? Although I can well imagine how it can be like that one day, all going along swimmingly then suddenly one drops off, one you date to find no chemistry and another sends a cock shot before you know it your back to square one!