Welcome to the House of Fun (and positivity!) - It's dating thread 100

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

lacob how long have you been dating diamond?

Oh no Lacoba

Are you two clearly exclusive? Or not? Good on you for banishing - do you feel ok about the outcome? For me 'try' to delete POF is pretty lame given that it's literally 2 clicks.... you ok??

Last & Handy. It's only 3 months, but he said very early on that he was not a 'player'.

Yeah Handy he didn't do it in front of me and I should have done so.

said he did so

Actually, now gonna message him to say 'done for now as don't like his style'. If something makes me feel unhappy, then it's not good.

Oh loo date he's lovely

He may not be a player but it shows he has a foot propping open the door to the sweet shop. So he's not 100% 'in'.

Yeah, if you are not happy... That's what you have to listen to. That's rubbish, Lacoba and I'm sorry that happened.

Oooh Yey catty

Hi! Im so excited to have found this thread. Separated from my H a year ago and no dates yet but I'm ready for something new. Now I'm off to google Matthew Hussey. Good luck with all your irons.

That's really awful Lacoba but I would be so unhappy about something like that. I have had two guys who I thought were long-term and exclusive being active on PoF during our relationships, so I now have a very low tolerance for anything like that once a relationship proper has started. It's not acceptable especially if it's making you unhappy. Good on you for being strong and dealing with it so well.

lacoba let us know how your message to him is received, hopefully he will put your mind at ease and it can be rescued?
catty yay! More details when you get home and time to update please!

Think waving might be right Lacoba, just have a further convo about it when you can be a bit more assertive and less hurt/hung over? Although I'm not sure what else you could say? Because if you have to keep raising the issue it sorta puts you in a weak/jealous position? He's put you in a tricky position really...

Hello to Tanito - enjoy MH!!!

Thank you Handy . Bizarrely, you have given me the ' foot closure' option door. He's not making me feel happy, & has done sod all to make me feel better.

@ catty update- more needed! Lol.

I'm back from my date with Always-on-POF man. It was fun, he's funny and good company, but I'm not sure I'm feeling the physical attraction. He wants to meet again so I'll definitely go out with him again and see what happens.
I am also messaging Serious Financial man (big shot investor) and hoping to meet him after the school holidays are over and I've got a bit of time. He seems very serious but I have an urge to dig out a frivolous side! If there isn't one then it's not a goer.

The thread has moved quickly, I've been lurking but not posting because we had a big family lunch today that lasted late into the afternoon.

Then I was in a hurry to get to my date with Captain Pugwash. We talked for hours again and I'm seeing him again tomorrow. I'm trying my best not to get carried away.
I'm not following the advice to be unavailable but I will be genuinely unavailable on Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm not sure if that counts?

Lacoba that's horrible behaviour. What an utter shitweasel.

How was your date catty?

I don't always feel any physical attraction on a first date jollyp. The second date is usually the clincher for me.

I'm the same Anna, it often takes a couple of meetings for me too.

Serious Financial man emails me every morning, asking me politely if I slept well. There's definitely an element of "repressed public schoolboy" I think, although I haven't actually met him yet. But this relentless politeness brings out the worst in me, and makes me want to push him into saying something smutty! I'm guessing we're not compatible but I like his photo so I'm rolling with it for now.

I've had a message from another man on POF whose tag line is "look into my eyes, 3-2-1 you're under"! Yeah mate, that won't make women feel nervous about meeting you...

Morning all, has everyone else got this storm? I hardly slept it was rattling and whistling the windows all night! I've hardly slept so I'm going to need some serious concealer and dark lighting at my date this evening 😞
jollyp sounds like your date went well! Easy chat and laughter makes for a great evening, I'd be nervous if I didn't have an initial spark and want to snog them! But I think annac is right, a second date and it may build
Serious financial sounds interesting! I'm laughing at your wanting to get him to break out a smutty side, you'll have him half naked dancing on the table in no time...often the quiet/serious ones are the worst!
waving not long now for MTG, I bet he's as anxious to be in touch as you are 😊
It's hard to know if you should message and simmer other matches or leave it in light of being in a kind of relationship? Individual choice and no right or wrong until THAT chat has been has I guess..
So my first date, we are gong for drinks half way between the 2 of us, so what the hell do I wear to a place I've never been to? If anyone knows it, we are meeting in Guildford, it looks nice, not a dive, some nice pubs and even nicer bars. I usually always do nice skinny jeans and a shirt but and wondering if I need something a little smarter?

Morning!
Waving for me personally, I wouldn't be replying to other messages right now. Given how much you and MTG have spoken and the plans you've discussed etc it feels like a sort of relationship. I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to others, but that really is just me. I've had one date with a guy, am messaging him on Whatsapp, and until I know where that's going, I'm not even looking at the messages waiting on POF. I know that's against how many people on this thread feel, but I would struggle to juggle irons- my short term memory isn't good enough to compartmentalise all their information!

waving I've only been on POF a week and this is my first date from 2/3 irons I have been whatsapp chatting to 2 of them pretty steadily and am meeting partyboy tonight. Not completely sure if it would ever go anywhere because I have a young child, he has older ones so is completely out of the loop and so we are in pretty different places. My life is all soft play and park trips, his is into the spontaneous weekends away and lay ins 🙄. But this info was on my profile, and has been brought up soooo worth a meet? The other factor which may get in the way is the distance between us, we live about an hour and a half away, so we can't just do quick coffee dates but we have arranged to both drive for 45ish minutes to meet in the middle this evening which is doable...how knows I guess but worth a meet up and I'm looking forward to it, if a bit nervous!

who knows not how! "Sleep deprived much"