Where can I get the strength to end it?

[confusion77]

I think my marriage is over. Realistically shouldn't have got married. Husband is like two different people. But the bad is getting worse. And the good rarely appears. We have a 7 Month Old baby. It breaks my heart.

The reason I am in this position is because I haven't found the strength or courage to finish it before. It should have happened after a couple of years yet here I am 14 years on.

How do I do it?

Hi ladies
Just wanted to offer my support, I'm 2 and a half weeks free of a rubbish marriage! 4 kids (2together) EA and FA, but I DID IT and so can you! Don't get me wrong it's bloody hard but liberating more so!

Woke up this morning glutton, needed to that you have had a positive outcome..... I'm going through tough bit, at the mo have no where to live currently staying with a friend, hubby wants custody of both my children one of whom is biologically his. X

Oh no Romoca, that sounds awful. Why do you have no where to live? Where are your children now?

Morning glutton, he took the my keys off me Friday because I said I didn't love him, he told me to go stay with friends. Not only do l live with him, I live with his mum and her friend too in a shared house! The atmosphere has been awful!!
My children are still there at the mo because I don't have any solid base.
Part of me wishes I could just " put up and shut up" in one way it would be easier.....xx

Also to add I'm currently 17 weeks pregnant, to!! There has been emotional abuse and financial recklessness to! Glutton is there anywhere you went for support like woman's aid etc?? Xx

I am very lucky with support, I work in that field without giving too much away!
As you are pregnant and have children I would suggest going to your local children's centre, they have family support workers who are invaluable at times like this. They can help you find housing and legal advice, I can't recommend them enough.
You definitely need support, your dh sounds horrible, I can't imagine what you are feeling but I can tell you things to get better, don't put up and shut up, you and your children deserve more.
With him wanting custody a judge would not allow it (unless you are a drug addict and abusing your children which I'm assuming you are not!)

Hi glutton, thank you for the advice I'm lucky I do have a lots of family and friends, which is where I am now but husband and kids are 2 hours away but tomorrow is Monday I can get the scary ball rolling xx

I'm looking at this boat with wine in hand in two minds. Kids have changed everything and it feels like we're two separate people living in each others space. He's dogmatic and disconnected. It wears me down. My marriage is like a swingometer. I'm struggling with the fluctuations and wondering how much is me and how much is us.

Romoca, if he's messaged an OW, will you confront him about that? How do you think he'll react? Feeling pretty low today. Have been crying on and off. Dh stressed because he has a lot to do with a separate business apart from his main job. He asks me to get involved with this business too which I do help with a little. But I started to feel trapped by everything because he deals with all financial matters. It probably wasn't the right time but I said that our life spent working and not much fun. I said that his businesses take up all his time and energy. He was a bit nasty and said "what are you going to retire on then?" Meaning that his businesses are our future financial security. Which is true to an extent but I just started crying because I think I felt trapped. If the relationship was working, it would be fine. But reality is we have no sexual relationship. I had a recent operation and he moved into spare room and has remained there since 2 months ago. Thing is, even if he moved back into bedroom we wouldn't resume our sex life. I feel depressed because I need communication, I intimacy, someone to love and who loves me. Dh is a dependable, decent man who's working hard. I feel I ought to make efforts but you know when you just feel you dont have it in you...?

Hi Hot2TrotNowFit2Flop, welcome on board! How long have you been married and what's your situation?

Hi green yes I confronted him , he tried to blame me for it that I was away and he was lonely!!
How is everyone today??
I feel wretched, been to housing today not had much luck....... The bloke who was a hosing adviser was just suggesting its a horrible split going to see a lady at women's aid next week. Xx

Been married 27 years changed my name back to my maiden name 16 years ago. last year I finally changed my passport to my maiden name wrote will and left everything to my kids set up a separate bank account in my name only and went to a divorce lawyer . I'm divorced in everything but him and house I just can't make that final step and yet I know I can support me and children on our own .... Feel an idiot most days

Awww bella, your not an idiot....I think this is one of the hardest things ever to do!! Everyone on this thread has been lovely and really supportive xx

Hi. How is everyone? Romoca are you ok? V worried about you. Been offline and only just back on.

Anyone else find Mondays hard? After keeping life 'normal' for kids each weekend, I feel so low and confused on a Monday.

Hi all, the only way to describe what I have been going though is hell!! My ex is doing everything he can to hurt me and leave me with nothing.....I'm fighting strong though... I not one to give up easy. How is everyone else?? Xx