DRY 11

[TeapotDictator]

Time for a shiny new thread.

Old thread here

still lurking... Thank you all. I WILL be here soon.

Stay with us Sanity .

sanity

Morning everyone. sanity

I had the most horrendous night sleep. I think yesterday was just too much. I don't really know what to put on the form at work for why I was off. I told my boss I had had an upsetting appt with my GP. They know I have been having an episode of anxiety/depression and I was referred to OH for that but the file has been closed. Obviously they don't know about the drinking. Can I just put something like acute stress response ???

I am so tired. I feel like a have a hangover but I don't

Morning everyone.
Thanks for the congrats, the same to you all too!
sanity in sorry your having a rough time.

vxa well done on the Drs appointment, and I hope the meds work for you, I would just put down on the form it was anxiety you don't need to go into detail if they ask just say your dealing with it. It's the truth, just missing out the drinking part!
To celebrate my month alcohol free my brain gave me a drinking dream last night! It was very clear and I can still see the wine in the glass and how gutted i was that I'd drank.
I am starting to get nervous about a holiday I've got booked with a friend in going to have to have a serious think about what strategies I can put in place to stop myself drinking.
Thinking of you all.

I'm feeling quite anxious today . Not sure why - nothing has changed, but I'm finding reading Caroline Knapp "drinking a love story" quite painful in places. I recognise a lot of the things she recounts, and a lot of the shambolic emotion and trapped feeling - poor decision making and self loathing ....

I think it's upset me.

Walked the dog for a brisk 2 hours this morning and have been to the gym ... Will not drink, but I do feel extremely unsettled ...

lily it's hard how things can just catch you unawares sometimes. Be kind to yourself

Feeling similar to you. I have just said to my DH how much I would like a glass of wine - for glass read 2 bottles. I am not going to have one. I think I am bored and tired. This is my 5th AF weekend and it's the hardest - doesn't really make sense.

Not had a great day either - just busy and no time to stop or do anything for myself. I also said to my DH that I wanted wine but I know what would be the result and am not going there again. Felt sad though and in need of escape. Still got a million things to do but am calling a halt for today. Hope tomorrow is better for all of us, we have done well today although it doesn't really feel like it!

Snap! Same here. Anxious and jittery all afternoon because of packing and preparing for a long trip. I said to DH that I didn't actually want to drink a couple of glasses of wine but I did want the calming effect they would bring. I didn't drink, obviously, because it would be stoopid. I eventually felt calmer after I had a nap and ate a huge dinner! Sometimes I have to remind myself to remember the basics; sleep well and eat well.

to all xx

all round. Here's to a better day today. I think what umpteen says is spot on. When I was drinking I saw wine as looking after myself and shifting from that and really thinking about me feels odd but when I remember to do it it works. Take care ladies.

Morning all! all round
Lilybetsy Glad you liked the seedlip and Caroline Knapp is a hard book to read so I would put it down and come back to it later when you are feeling more robust. BH week-ends are hard as my brain always thought that this was extra drinking time! Be kind to yourselves and yes remember HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired). An extended week-end with family can make me feel all of those simultaneously!
Plus another book recommendation here if you are a fan of A A Gill
I'm off for a run in the sunshine :)

So I went back into my vicious circle drinking the minute I have money then skint 2 weeks before payday have just been paid and as bank holiday weekend drank 3 bottles of wine yesterday😞 Feeling kind of ashamed and don't know what to say any advice anyone can give I need to do something!

Welcome rosie There is loads of support here - everyone is lovely. It sounds as if you have been in a bit of a cycle for a while - have you tried stopping drinking before ?

For today I would say go easy on yourself and try and get some rest, drink water and try and eat something light. Look after YOU.

Gosh, looks like yesterday was a tough one for lots of us!

I hope everyone had woken up feeling proud of their achievements, and those who wobbled - I hope you are being kind to yourselves and know deep down that you are still making progress just in knowing that you want to make a change

I was faced with a bit of a dilemma/choice yesterday. DP and I are child-free all weekend. We had some DIY to do yesterday which involved trips out to tip and B&Q. We also needed to eat so went to the Harvester.

DP was feeling the bank holiday vibe so had a couple of pints. He is very considerate and I always make sure he knows it's not a problem for me. I do actually want him to carry on as normal, so that this can be my new normal to be sober and it not be an issue for anyone around me. He is a lucky one who really truly can ignore a bottle of wine in his fridge for weeks at a time. Grrrr to him!

So then we went to the pub and I had a lovely ginger beer (was very clear with the bar staff to check it was AF - no crabbies please!) and he had another pint. Then we bought a bottle of wine in the way home.

DP is a lovely funny drunk. We have a good laugh when he's drinking and I'm not. I'm happy with that.

BUT for the first time, I was tempted in a tiny way to join him.

However, I knew deep down that I wouldn't. Didn't really want to.

It's just a habit that I/we have when we have a rare child-free weekend. And bank holidays are a rare occasion when daytime drinking seems to be ok combination of these things makes being drunk the ultimate freedom. Or did in the past.

This morning, however, I am up and about feeling fine, made the bacon sandwich for DP (big gesture of love as I am veggie and bacon turns my stomach ). He is feeling rotten and I now really appreciate that my new normal is a really good one. This is my new freedom

First minor wobble but happy I made the shift from what I used to do by default in these situations. I suppose it wasn't really a wobble as such. Just a first encounter of what was previously a drinking no-brainer. I had to engage my brain to NOT drink and shift from that usual pattern of behaviour. It was a bit of a challenge but I feel good for it.

I'm a bit jealous of those having drinking dreams. I read about these and am looking forward to having one so that I can experience the 'thank goodness I didn't actually do that' feeling when I wake up.

Welcome rose

First, don't beat yourself up

Second, have a look online at some sober blogs. Mummy was a secret drinker is a good one. Also soberiatas. And books by Craig beck, Jason vale and Allen carr have helped a lot of people make the mental shift, including me

You're starting out, and coming here is a massively positive step!

Thank you everyone for making me feel so welcome again xx ❤️ Am 44 been drinking on and off since 13 and still trying to convince myself I'm fine! Have done it before quit drinking for 1 month 6months a year being the longest bank holidays are murder all your mates on FB posting at the pub or drinking and so hard not to copy plus normal Sunday is drinking for me whilst cooking roast have normally had a couple of glasses by now! Roast is in oven and I'm on my 4th coffee getting bored wondering where my glass of Rose is!! Some days I don't mind not drinking today isn't one of them! Reading through all the messages brings tears to my eyes! you're all amazing xxx

Positive post coming up. Apologies in advance to anyone not quite feeling it but if I was your friend in the room with you right now, this is what I would be saying - you might hate me for it or you might want to join me.

Sober is the new wave! Forget the ladette culture of the nineties when we all wanted to keep up with the pints or the bottles! Forget 'wine o'clock'! Forget wobbling upstairs to put the DCs to bed after a boozy summer BBQ and spending BH Monday trying to drink off another hangover!

We're clean, we're clear-headed, we're breaking the 'rules' that stressed out women need wine to get through the day!

We're stronger than that. We don't 'need' stupid little devious, lying, manipulative alcohol to be able to 'get through' our lives.

WE are in charge. And we have everything we need inside of ourselves.

We're not going to succumb to a controlling, abusive relationship with the monster Mr Alcohol! Seducing us one minute and then making us feel shitty the next.

Let's vow to not waste another bank holiday sleeping it off.

Today we eat well, hydrate, move, sleep deeply and wake up tomorrow and do something nice with this extra day we have

Made it though last night, went to some friends... Was fine , although as the other adults got a bit pissed I found myself getting very edgy and wanting to leave.

I am hyper aware of DP drinking - he was pissed Tuesday night last week, and was drinking every single night. He spend most of yesterday in bed with a hangover and announce that he was "giving up for a bit" - I was sceptical, tbh, but quite pissed off that he drank loads again last night ...

If this continues, I'm not quite sure we will last with me sober and him a heavy drinker ....

Grrrrrr Lily that sucks. Have you told him how you feel?

No. I'm picking my moment - not when he is pissed. And it's hard to say that I am worried about HIS Drinking when it's not really as bad as mine was ( or maybe it is actually ) ....

I've been out with the dog with DS2, done some cleaning and sorting and am hiding at the gym. All kids out with friends today so some peace and quiet !

Welcome rose - when I feel like I really MIND not drinking , I try to "play the tape to the end" ... Like you I always enjoyed drinking on Sunday lunchtime whilst cooking the lunch .. BUT it never ended with just a couple of glasses, always with me messy, slurry and drunk ... No proper conversation / interaction with anyone and snoring on the sofa by 7.30.. Then into work on Monday feeling ROUGH , with a headache and not enough sleep .... When I think it through - what will actually happening If I drink .... I don't think it's such a good idea ...

Hi everyone
Beautiful sunny day here but I am feeling so overwhelmed. the house is a mess and I don't know where to start with it. Dp out with the dcs and I just feel lost and jittery.

I am really struggling with coping with the feeling of being behind ALL THE TIME. the constant nagging sense of everything being just one millimetre from spiralling out of control is horrific.

Ok here is a confession. I turned up with my dcs at their birthday party yesterday - I had booked a hall and a bouncy castle. Except I hadn't. I looked in my phone for the email to phone the guy when he didn't turn up when I was expecting - and the last email was from him saying "please confirm when you know the times you need us". I almost burst into tears. I phoned him up and he was in his van somewhere and turned up half an into the party. It was fine. I totally admitted my fault of course and he was nice about it. But the moment when I realised: I just totally forgot to sort this out.... was a moment I have been known is coming for ages and I still feel there are a good few more coming. I'm just not in control of everything.

The party was hellacious. I felt sick with overwhelm and anxiety the whole way through.

I don't feel like me. I feel scattered, lost and confused. Very confused and anxious.

Sorry to whine on. I am so pissed off with myself for being unable to enjoy my very nice life and this very nice day in particular. I need a slap.

Nice to "meet" you Rose.

OnceMore, thank you for that fab pep talk.

vxa you are doing so well!

Lily I found that book tough as well.

Have made it thru till now without going to the shop have cleaned up all the dinner plates etc Lily it's like you know me already! I'd be close to my 3rd bottle of Rose by now! Have bleached kitchen floor done washing all to keep me busy once boredom kicks in then I'm useless! Have downloaded Allen Carr's book so will start that in a bit thank you everyone lovely to "meet" you all xx

Howbad you are doing so well. You have a huge amount on your plate. I know you forgot to confirm the exact times but you did book the bouncy castle and the hall. Go easy on yourself - you could say that the man could have contacted you to check times when he didn't hear from you.

I bet the children had a lovely time. Although you felt really anxious at least you didn't drink. You got through it so feel proud.

You are not whining at all. We are all here to support you and don't you forget it.

You sound very anxious and also down. I can't remember whether you are taking any medication like ADs ?

Are you going to get any time to yourself today at all ? Take care lovely xx

Where's the new thread?