DRY 11

[TeapotDictator]

Time for a shiny new thread.

Old thread here

Fell out of my sober car :( Feel dreadful about it :( Day 1 again here for me and SO upset at this :( All those sober days behind me, and then I caved in at a stressful time and drank wine. I so fucking hate being an addict :(

Sorry for swearing. but I am so upset at my self. Why? Why did I drink? I honestly have no idea why I had some wine last night, apart from the stress ( which I have been coping with much worse for 120 days without drinking :( ) All my sober armour was no defense against the wine bitch :(

Sorry that I am not name checking or commenting on anyone else's posts. I have read them all, honest!

GladI and Floss It is such a difficult road, isn't it? It is brilliant that you are back here though. I think we learn something from each relapse.

Something that is working for me at the moment is to be vigilant about monitoring my mood, so I can be aware of becoming vulnerable to returning to drinking to escape. I use Moodscope which is free though one can pay for the enhanced version with extra features. Each day I answer 20 questions and I can track my mood over time. I add notes to each day. It helps me to see if there are trends such as I am not sleeping properly or thinking too much about a particular situation. That kind of thing. It works for me anyway.

Hi glad I'm sorry you've had a hard time. I won't patronise you by offering advice because you will know it already and at 26 days I am not in a position to advise you but I am here to support you so keep posting.

I am feeling really rough - have been since Friday. Headache nausea achy and sleep has gone out of the window. I am wondering if this could be PAWS but I thought that was mostly physiological rather than physical. Has anyone else had this ?

Sorry I meant that I thought that the symptoms would be psychological rather than physiological - perhaps I should just say I thought the symptoms of PAWS would be things like lack of concentration, anxiety, tearfulness etc and not things like headaches and nausea.

GladIstopped, its so great that you have come right back and are facing this crap head -on. Its so easy to think . "oh I drank, whats the point" and drift off for another couple of years. Its good to have you bacl and you CAN do it!

vxa perhaps you are ill with something else ? you know like flu of something - doesn't HAVE to be alcohol related ? -

Hi Umpteen and everyone, Where is teapot and Matron ? come back :-) even if its hard and you have lapsed come back and let us support you ..

Thanks for your support folks. glad please don't beat yourself up cos if you do I'll need to beat myself up and i don't want to do that! Managing day 2. Feel relieved and chuffed. Agree about Louis Theroux. Wasn't terribly insightful. Scary what the end result looks like though, eh? It's funny. I watched it and felt like shaking my head and saying 'why do they do that to themselves?' lol. It;s a lovely afternoon. Think I'll walk the dog in the park and come home for a coffee.
Hope everyone else is having a peaceful day in sobriety.

Was there something in the air yesterday? I drank wine too. For no real reason!! I just felt terribly overloaded and had been resisting the lure of the wine witch successfully for days but then I seemed to go onto autopilot in the face of yet another day with a million jobs to do.

Had a sleepless night and a pretty terrible day including a trip to the doctors with the joiner currently working on my house who had a nasty accident with a saw! Thankfully he didn't do anything too awful but needed stitches in his hand. I am shattered and it feels like a lesson to me (again) that I should not be in such a rubbish state because I had to drive in an emergency.

I can only try and learn from this mistake again. Wine isn't a treat and it doesn't help me do anything, quite the opposite. I need to put my sobriety first and learn to take time out when I'm feeling overwhelmed.

Evening all. Had a nc!

Day 2 going well ( well maybe I could count one lapse of a few glasses as something to ignore?)

Thanks for the good wishes. I am not sure what I can learn from this, that I didn't already know - stress is an issue and I was out with a friend and she produced a bottle and I said "oh go on then". I guess I should have told her before hand I did not drink? So yes that is a lesson to take on board I guess.

*glad" have you seen 'Love' on Netflix, there is a part when she has to set back her drinking app back to zero from 18 months sober. Sorry to hear about the relapse sounds like Sat night is a trigger night for you? Friday night is for me, big time!

Hi miss no it wasn't it was a Sat I think - just I had had a dreadful day and I was at a weak moment and a friend offered me a glass of wine and I took it - I could have pre warned her ( not her fault at all!) , I could have said no, I could have not drank it :( but I didn't :(

My issue entirely and I need to re examine how I could have do things differently, next time. Onwards and upwards and end of day 2 ( again)

Hi all, I really hope you are all doing ok. Especially glad and floss and those feeling fragile at the moment

I have had an important 'revelation' about the need to be dry ... I have been recognising that I can't drink in ' moderation ' once I have started, for a long time. Ie. one glasss is NEVER enough - but I have been wonderingly I can't drink occasionally , when it's "safe" , when it doesn't matter if I over indulge .... And I realise it's because it feeds the wine witch , and then one day is never enough .. And it makes it even harder to not drink the next day.. And that THIS is why I need to completely stop and stay completely stopped ... It starves the wine witch, starves the obsession, and eventually it dies .... Maybe... But more people relapse in the first year than after that so ... There is something in that ...

for you all today.

Delurking........ I have been following this thread for ages (years) and you can all probably guess why.

My wine consumption has been escalating and it's reached a point where I know I have to step away.

I like wine (a lot) at the end of the day (specially after work) I have a lot of stress in my life and I think I use it as a crutch. I am not waking up with a vodka (just trying to set scene)

DH wants me to see someone but I am terrified it would end up in some kind of Social Services getting involved (I have 2 primary children). or some kind of mark on my medical record (insurance??) and I'm not sure I can do that.

Plus if they offer counselling I don't want to talk about this - not to anyone face to face so what would I be going to a GP trying to gain?

Am confused but really need to get out of this rut

sanity could you try it without GP etc help? It really depends how much you are drinking but there is lots of good advice on these threads and in the various blogs etc, also Soberistas and Sober Sassy Life - do you think it would be worth a try getting support from us here and other places to stop drinking?
I know I lapsed on Sat but I have done a heck of a lot of long periods of dry days in the last 2 years and it is down to this thread and the people on it, along with meditation (Headspace) and other apps ( Andrew Johnson)
We are here to help, if you want us to xxx

Welcome SanityAssassin (great name btw!) :)
Glad, floss & jojo On we go!
It's bloody snowing here!!

Lucy thank you my lovely xxx

It snowed here lunchtime!

Thanks Lucy!
Feeling good here today and my resolve for this to be a permanent change in my life gets stronger every time I lapse. It's a slippery thing, sobriety - take your eyes off it and it disappears!! Must. Be. Vigilant.

Just had snow here too and a tiny bit of thunder. Now sunshine.

matron (if you are lurking) I hope you are ok, please come back!

Welcome sanity. Have you thought about calling your local drugs and alcohol addiction service. I referred myself and if I hadn't wanted my GP to know they wouldn't have contacted her. All I had to do was phone. It was a big step but I'm glad I took it. I had tried without success to stopping drinking and I got to the point when I knew I couldn't do it on my own. Just to express that was a relief. They have been great.

The support here is fantastic and I know I would not have made it as far as I have without the ladies here -27 days. I also find it helps alot to immerse my self in everything can read/watch/listen to about getting sober. I like the sober mummy blog and the Bubble Hour especially.

At this stage perhaps just keep an open mind about how you are going to achieve your goals. Have a plan but remember that if you have to change it that's not a sign of weakness. So at the moment you might not want to talk to anyone in real life but at some point in the future that might change. Everyone's journey is different and I am no expert but I would say that the more tools you have in your box the better. And remember you can always post here.

Right now focus on YOU and taking care of yourself. Baths, candles, early nights and gentle exercise help me.

glad Lucy vxa thank you for the welcome and the advice.

I know I can stop (have done many times) it's the keeping stopped I have trouble with! Thing is I actually like the sparkly me when I'm sober so why do I do it?

I am a wine drinker and can easily see off a bottle. It's making me ill, it's destroying my marriage (if it hasn't already) - wow actually writing this down seems .... can't think what I mean. It has helped me in the past to read blogs etc (not tried the bubble hour though so might give that a go) maybe I'll start posting.

Like the idea of headspace - I know part of my problem isn't actually the wine it's that I'm stressed and a bit overwhelmed with my life at the moment and that heads me straight to the fridge so maybe some mindfulness/meditation might not be a bad thing to try.

Welcome Sanity. :)

Snowed here too!

Very tired tonight. Feeling stressed and a bit shivery and shaky so had a shower and have gone to bed. DH has promised to get DS to bed, but it is not happening yet. [sits on hands to prevent interfering.]

glad

Headspace app :) 10 mins ( some are shorter) so surf the urge by listening and practising mindfulness, instead. Also Andrew Johnson app, 30 mins - 2 hours depending on what you set it too. Worked for me. Until I stopped doing either of them all last week ( too tired and busy and stressed :( ) and look what happened Sat :( Which is what I have realized went wrong. I stopped being kind to me and then when stressed went back to my old habits. Obviously 120 days was not enough for me to get out of the old mindset - so now I know that, I can be aware and forewarned.
Onwards and upwards :)

sanity I don't think there is any need to involve your GP if you are drinking less than 10 units a day... As in, you are unlikely to be physically dependent on alcohol and stopping drinking poses no physical risk to your health. Be clear, if you tell your GP that you are drinking 70 units a week they Will record it and although this is extremely unlikely to trigger any kind of Ss investigation, this fact will be on your medical record for ever and will be disclosed should you ask for life insurance etc

There are lots of free alcohol support services eg AA , ASCA and others ,

If you are worried that you might be physically dependent on alcohol and you can google the symptoms , then you will need medical support for stopping and access will have to be via your GP.

Well done for deciding to stop ! There is lots of support and encouragement on this thread and also in the mass of sober blogs / books/ forums

Welcome

Sorry , had not read your update ... If you have stopped several times before and relapsed, then you need to do something different this time ... . . .

And there are lots of options x

How is everyone this morning. 28 days for me today, probably should feel more pleased with myself than I do but it's good.

boodles you are a couple of days ahead of me. How are you getting on. Are you on day 30 ?

Thanks Lily I have never had any physical withdrawl other than a bit of difficulty sleeping when I have stopped before so guess I'm not physically dependent - I just like the stuff too much!

This is the first time I've really 'talked' about it - I have made the odd post before (not here) but never followed it up (almost ran and hid!) Very inspiring you are all doing so well.

Bad cold so sharing the sofa with a box of mansize tissues today,,