DRY 11

[TeapotDictator]

Time for a shiny new thread.

Old thread here

Jojo, how's it going? I agree with the others; can you do something different with your boys today? Anything really that changes the triggering routine. Take them out somewhere - to the park or a cafe?

jojo what have you got planned for tomorrow? Are you doing anything for Mother's Day?

matron thats what I do! Latin based dance. Its very fast. Its not zumba but thats the only thing I can compare it too.

Fuzzy, I like to count days in order to celebrate progress, like you say. It goes hand in hand with building self-esteem. So I'm nearly at six months and we (toute la famille) are going to go out for dinner to celebrate. I'm standing up and being counted! Drinking, for me, went hand in hand with suppressing myself and burying my feelings.

I'm not saying that my self-esteem is dependent only on the number of days sober I am, but that the longer I remain sober, the more I am finding myself and my voice.

AND THAT IS A GOOD THING!

Go Umpteen

dona do you dance in a class environment or in clubs?

Its a class. The 9am one on a Saturday keeps me on the straight and narrow on a Friday night I then do 4 evening ones. Its changed my whole wine o clock routine!

umpteen have a great time!

I'm hanging on...albeit a bit grimly. Too cold to go out!! Eldest is watching Jurassic something or other and youngest is with me in the kitchen colouring in. My time out earlier was nice...gave me time to short circuit the craving I think, it's still there but not as bad. I'm thinking of the hideous after effects which always happen...the inevitable night of not sleeping at all and the anxiety about coping the next day having not slept. I don't want that. I usually try and do an early bird swim on a Sunday morning (if not been awake all night!) so will probably do that tomorrow, I enjoy it. No special Mothers Day stuff planned - DH will be working as usual - there was a lovely Mothers Day tea party at DS2 school on Friday so I guess that will have to suffice!! Anyone got more exciting plans for tonight/tomorrow?

jojo I'm going to adopt the early morning weekend swim, that's a good idea.

Tomorrow we are out in a group of 30 for lunch. Drinks at mine first (as always) then more drinks at restaurant. Then back to mine for more drinks.

I need to handle tomorrow as this crowd are my nearest and dearest and I love them all.

Jojo, well done! I'd forgotten it was cold when I suggested taking the DCs out. I'm in a different climate, and it's midnight here, so my Saturday is done and dusted. Tomorrow, yeah, same as you I shall go swimming in the morning, then later we have an evening wedding reception to go to. I hadn't given the drinking aspect of that any thought until just now. Hm. Good that I didn't automatically dread going; in the past I couldn't predict whether I would control my drinking or not. Bad that I haven't thought through my protective strategy, my sober force field. I think I will have a hearty snack before we go and stay close to DH and be prepared to leave early.

How much longer will you be solo parenting at the weekends? Cos that sounds hard, and pretty triggering.

Blimey, Matron, your lunch sounds testing!

That's a big day matron!! And tricky to handle...can you say that you did a successful Dry Jan and felt brilliant so you are now doing a Dry March to carry on feeling brilliant? Or the medication/antibiotics route? Or needing to keep a clear head for a big week at work? Or driving? Or dieting? Will your husband/partner support you to not drink and help you smooth things along e.g. 'leave matron alone you lot, let's talk about something else' type of thing? Could you 'fake' drink e.g. fizzy water with a slice of lemon and tell everyone it's gin?

Thanks umpteen! DH's thesis is due in by the end of March and then it will be over...it has been a very long 2 years. He is generally very supportive of me and knows I'm struggling now but it's nearly done and we will finish the damn thing!! He's worked so hard for it. Doesn't help that we have no family locally and we have re-located twice in the last few years so no real friend support network either - it's always been just us!! He will come back to being a 50:50 parent asap and I hope this summer will be better than the last two.

We all seem to be swimmers here!

Jojo, that's really good that the end is in sight. Only, what, three more weeks? Can you then carve out some time for yourself at the weekends?

Big boozy lunch? What is your strategy Matron?!

I hope so umpteen...I just can't remember what to do with free time!! It will be nice to find out though! Maybe I will be posting in a few months saying I'm bored and lonely now that my DH and boys have abandoned me at weekends!!

matron could you give a sort of 'real' reason for not drinking and say that you'd love to have a glass of wine but that it's making you feel really ill recently and so you won't be drinking and you would appreciate everyone's support on this?

jojo my plan is to be honest without full disclosure and a bit of cover up if pushed. I'm going to say the alcohol is making me ill when offered. I will have a soda and slice of lemon in attempt to prevent questions.

Emergency plan is to hide in the loo and post you lot if it gets too pressured.

Exit plan if needed is up to bed with a stomach ache.

jojo cross post

I think asking for their support will result in too much self examination and they will want me back in the herd and pressure me to do so.

Sounds good matron. I will be around a lot of the day and keeping an eye out for you on here!! I might have to - aaargh - go to a soft play centre at some point, god help me.

You can do it!!

To be honest I'm posting a good game but I'm begrudging tonight let alone tomorrow.

I'm posting all about the person I need to be. What I want to be is a moderator. I'm angry that I have not been wired with an off switch.

jojo thank you. I know we are both early doors in this absence game and I appreciate your support

It is very unfair that some people seem to be able to take or leave alcohol - my DH is one, he prefers tea! That's just wierd. One sister in law only ever has two glasses and then stops. Always. My other sister in law actually keeps bottles of wine for ages before she drinks them - she gets it from my father-in-law who has a wine cellar in his house and strictly only has the right wine with the right food and only one or two glasses from proper decanters etc.

How do I know these people?!?

It is very unfair and I'm fuming because there is no way to get the off switch, you can't buy it or win it or borrow it or learn it.

Has anyone given up drink only to subsequently become a long term moderator, with no internal struggle and no regretful drinking sessions?