DRY 11

[TeapotDictator]

Time for a shiny new thread.

Old thread here

vxa2 I hope you get something positive from the book. It does cover the anti-drinking drugs in there and kind of busts the myths that they are a good idea. In reality, it's too easy to just stop taking them if you really do still want to drink.

I did consider them seriously myself before I had my brain rewired through reading all the common sense that's out there.

I don't think the magic can be found in another drug. I think the magic lies in opening the mind to the nonsense that is drinking, and waking up to the fact that alcohol is a drug and doesn't deliver anything but crap into our lives.

Sorry to keep banging on about 'the book' but it does talk through all of the traditional support with quitting and why they usually don't work in the long run.

Ultimately, if you still want to drink but are finding ways to abstain painfully and day by day, it's a miserable existence and unlikely to last. You need to twist your brain to the reality that drinking is pointless, damaging, and just really a bit daft

Once you get yourself into a new mindset, the rest honestly is easy.

I'm on day 20 today and seriously it's just gone. The desire, cravings, habits etc. And I don't feel deprived at all. I feel free and normal and it's great. Honestly the power you need is all in your mind

Hi sober warriors. Can't write much on my phone on the train so big shout outs to you all.
Lily just wanted to say I hear you on the DP rage.
Keep going, heroes

once I am genuinely pleased you feel normal and free. Unfortunately on Day 22 I don't.

"once you get yourself into a new mindset the rest is honestly easy"

I don't want to drink and I have no intention of doing so but I might benefit from something to help me with the cravings. I suppose this journey is different for everyone. I think I have shifted my mindset significantly and I know you have found it easy having done that but for me it's not.

I am sorry if I am overreacting to what you have said and I know it's not personal but I am struggling. I am tired and I feel crap and very very sad. I am sitting at my desk crying.

The research I have read suggests that it is not necessary a myth that taking anti drinking drugs is a good idea. I would have some concern about Nalmefene because that is supposed to reduce drinking but drug I am considering helps with craving for those who have got through withdrawal and are abstaining. If you start drinking again you have to stop taking it. I will stop going on now.

Each to their own vxa2. In no way meaning to preach or suggest it's one size fits all. But I have been where you are many times myself, abstaining and feeling shit, so I just wanted to offer an alternative that has really worked for me where all other approaches have failed miserably.

I wish you the best of luck with whatever path you decide on.

vxa2 - have you tried Chromium Picolinate? That will help with the cravings immensely. Holland and Barrett sell it - get the highest daily dose you can and it should help.

Thank you lou because of my epilepsy and anxiety meds I have to be careful with supplements but I will look into those. I haven't heard of them before so that's really helpful.

Good hope it helps - I believe it is a mineral so shouldn't affect your other drugs

good afternoon all - vxa2 been thinking of you lots today - and something I think cooeeonlyme said - we have been years in making our drinking part of our lives and it struck me that for almost all of us it is very early days/months/years

• those years take time to unpick. Personally, I am reading everything I can get my hands on and to be honest will do anything and we should all do what works for us- I am only day 11 but have written down my list of what is good and where I think I went astray last time and as advised that is now put aside. I hate the thought of you crying this morning and have just read previous posts and see clearly this is all so horrid for you but please keep going – I aspire to be at the number of days you have done and in awe. I think I have missed it but do you have an appointment with your GP/nurse to discuss anything they can do/give to help you.

Thank you journey that means a lot. You are doing brilliantly. Yes I saw the alcohol recovery worker yesterday and I am seeing my GP tomorrow to talk about a possible prescription. I gave another appt with the worker in 2 weeks. I am also signed up to do an intuitive thinking course which they have said is very good.

I have just made myself do 30 mins on my exercise bike which I haven't been near to for weeks.

How is everyone else ? lily how are you feeling. I think your DP was going out for a curry tonight - was that you ??

Still no news from Flossie and matron ???

Vxa* there are several options with regard to medication associated with alcohol withdrawal . As with all these things there are a variety of opinions as to whether any / all are helpful . I am a GP with an interest in addiction ( funny that)

Firstly there are drugs to manage acute withdrawal - these are usually only necessary for people who are physically addicted to alcohol - where there is a risk of fitting with sudden withdrawal,, these would be closely monitored - every day at least and this can be done as an Out patient if there is a home detox team on your area. Usually this is Valium or equivalent. The acute detox will last 5-14 days.

Drugs to maintain sobriety are more controversial.

Acamprosate claims to reduce cravings to drink, it's generally initiated by a specialist team . Results / outcomes are mixed but it seems to be safe.

Disufiram is a medication on which you CANNOT drink. If you do it will make you extremely ill . Disulfirm will react with any alcohol at all, even that found in , for example some mouthwashes. It can be useful as a deterrent because the effects last for 7 days even if you do not take it. Again most GP's won't prescribe because if the associated risk.

The other 'newer' meds , esp the ones you mention are less commonly used and I am not convinced of the safety profiles.

The other broad group of medications are more generally to treat the underlying anxiety / depression / mood swings that may have contributed to the development of an alcohol problem. This maya include sertraline , other antidepressants, anxiolytics ( to reduce anxiety) and occasionally low dose antipsychotics if people are very very anxious / agitated .

In general the aim is to be off all medication by 12 months AF. Stopping drinking is HARD, if it wasn't there would be no people who are alcohol dependent.

I agree that 'making peace' with the decision and actively deciding and FEELING that you no longer want to drink is the key, but that's a hard psychological step to take. Some direct alcohol support counselling may be helpful here ... Or more general counselling can also be useful.

I would ask you all to respect my privacy as a GP who recognises my own issues with alcohol. I promise I have never ever consumed alcohol whilst working, before working or when I was on call ( don't do that now !)

Hope that helps vxa honestly you are feeling rubbish now, but I promise that it will improve, talk to your GP about the options and see what you can agree ... But if you need help with medication please take it xxx

Thank you lily that is very helpful and matches exactly what my worker from the alcohol and drug addiction service went through with me. I will have a chat with my GP tomorrow and take it from there. X

Hi, hope you are all ok.

I'm in bed with a cup of tea and some iPlayer. really over today. Very tired and DP still being a dick. I can't even be bothered to tell you why and how as it's all so tedious and just generally insulting really.

Not really enjoying much at the moment. Except big hugs from my lovely little girls.

I have seen a lot of old friends by chance recently, I mean I can have no social life for months but recently a bunch of very dear special people have happened to appear in my life at around the same time. They all ask me what I am doing and what I am up to and they ask "how do you do it?" I don't know what to say because I don't feel like I am doing it and it actually makes me feel a bit overwhelmed and teary that it is acknowledged that it is hard. (None of them care in the slightest, or even notice, that I'm not drinking, of course)

So different from when I saw my mum the other day and she didn't stop talking at all. She was trying to do her duty and keep me updated with things that are happening with the wider family I suppose, like my cousin's wife had a baby, and I do care about things like that, and I am glad he has a lovely little baby, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a mum you could talk to, tell things to, and maybe get some advice.

I guess I'm just feeling lost like everyone does sometimes

fuzzy I do Transcendental meditation - I can highly recommend it - 20 mins twice a day, becomes a habit and a pleasure rather than a drag.

Absolutely - if feeling fragile I'd have a drink or 10… it's bizarre coping with real life emotions / mood swings without alcohol, but kinds of nice getting to know the real me.

I only coped so far doing Andrew Johnson for 60 days and then Headspace, since. Tbh Headspace has helped far more for the last 80 days ( :) ) but that is just me
Also yoga and pilates and swimming, to make me get up early and replace being hungover, has helped. But I am now in busy time of year growing stuff to eat and sell so it is a bit easier to stay focussed. You CAN do this all :) KOKO sober warriors :)

Evening all, just checking in. 👋
vxa um sorry this is being so hard for you. I wrote a reply yesterday to your post and my battery died mid way through posting. I just wanted to say I've had fleeting thoughts about substituting the wine for something else like weed but then I realised I wouldn't have a clue where to get it and I didn't fancy hanging about the local ships with the kids pestering the teenagers😂😂😂. To me it felt like my addicted brain was making a feeble attempt at a toddler tantrum, well if you won't give me wine I'll have that!
When's your next appointment with alcohol nurse? Have you looked into holistic therapies Reiki, etc? Everyone's journey is different and you need to do what you need to do but Id maybe go down the route of trying everything else before meds. That's just what I'd do not necessarily suited to eryine though! Your doing great just keep chipping away at it.
howbad sorry your feeling lost today, I hope tomotroenis a better day for you.
slim thanks for the offer I may just do that when I've got my thoughts ordered (ASD) I'm reading the explosive child at the min, only came yesterday so not read a lot but so far so good. How's the ulcers?
How's everyone else doing?
Warm weather is brilliant isn't it although I automatically think BEER GARDEN! So now I'm trying to think MOCKTAILS. I realised the other day I actual really don't liken the feeling of being drunk, the slurry whirly pickled mushy brain feeling. I liked how it helped me escape but not the actual feeling.

*shops not ships !! I don't think id find any weed hanging around them either 😂😂

Morning all. Sounds like a few of us are finding things a bit tough right now so big hugs all round

What has everyone got planned for the weekend ? I was hoping for some sun but I think it might be a bit damp here in Birmingham. At least it stays lighter later which def makes me feel better. Only thing is I don't have any curtains in my bedroom right now so the mornings can be a bit bright! Neighbours might not be getting the best view either ! X

Vxa that just made me snort my tea!

This weekend I shall be mostly dealing with an infestation of nits

It's lovely now the nights are lighter isn't it? It does make me think of drinking wine in the garden, but I'm doing okay with tea at the moment. I've bought some tomato juice this morning so I'm going to be making virgin Mary's tonight. Yum yum!

to all

cooee good luck with the nits! Last summer I remember our visit clearly, boys have vv curly hair and lots of it, turned to drink that night ( see a pattern!) good, stressful, bad, happy days drink then :( Day off here, going to clean house, do a slow cooked dinner and get nice diet ginger beer for tonight. DP has kind of joined me now af and much calmer all round. Day 11 here (is that all!)

Day 42. That's SIX weeks without a drink !

DS3, aged 11 has started telling me how much he hates it when I drink, that I am 'nicer' now. We went shopping for food yesterday and I went past the alcohol aisle to the mixers ( I like ginger ale) when I picked it up and some 'Big Tom' mixer he asked in a worried little voice if it had alcohol in it ... can't explain how guilty that made me feel. Once I was pissed when he came home with a friend for a sleepover. The shame :-(

so, no alcohol for me this weekend. Instead I will walk the dog with a friend, go to the gym for Tai Chi and Yoga ( I suspect these are becoming my replacement obsession) run a bit, cook a bit, sleep a lot ( I hope) and try to figure out the wreck of my relationship which was started with such love and optimism and is a bloody awful mess right now

Well done lily - that's absolutely FANTASTIC !!

Interesting what you say about your 11 year old. My DD also 11 was much more aware of my drinking than her older sister "Mummy is that wine in that mug?" Said at 3.30pm

Sounds like plenty planned for the weekend. I started yoga the last time I gave up drinking and loved it- especially hot yoga. M

Oops posted too fast - might give yoga another try although my lack of flexibility is embarrassing !!

Hi all.

cooee - so sorry to hear about the nits! good luck!

Lily - SIX WEEKS! Woo!

I have to go away for work, leaving Saturday, and I really don't want to. I feel so busy, so cold and stressed and strung out and I really don't want to be getting on a plane at 8pm on a Saturday night when I should be sitting on dds' beds doing stories and cuddles. It all feels so difficult at the moment.

I know I am overreacting to this trip because the last one, last November, was awful. I felt damaged and bruised for ages after.

P is doing this pathetic thing where he doesn't speak to me, he does this a few days after I try to ask him to do something for me. He is such a pathetic piece of shit sometimes. On Wednesday night I told him that I was quite upset and disappointed that I took the girls to school at 8.15 when he was still in his dressing gown, got back at 8 and did their stories etc, fired up the laptop to finish work straight after 8.30, worked through to 10.15pm doing the bare minimum to make the next day bearable, with no time to eat or anything (he had veggies and houmous, he got it for himself while drinking and watching the football, I asked for some and he said "no, I've only got this") and then I went into the kitchen, emptied the dishwasher, and found dirty dishes still in the sink from before I got back. I would have dutifully done them except they were sitting in cold water and I suddenly just couldn't stand it so I went back to the sitting room and said I was a bit disappointed that dirty washing up was waiting for me when I have been working literally non stop since I left him in his dressing gown and don't even have time to get something to eat. Since then he hasn't talked to me. I had a cup of tea and went to bed.

I have so much to do and no one to ask for help. I don't think I can do this any more.

HowBad I am so sorry to hear you are struggling right now. It seems a lot of us have problems with our partners - it wouldn't surprise me if alcohol was a significant factor in 'helping' us cope with / ignore long-term relationship issues. I know things feel very different for me now I am sober - I am much less tolerant of bad behaviour, and am really asking myself what I want and need in life. That is not to say there are any easy or obvious answers emerging!

So I don't have any advice but just wanted to say to you and Lily I hear you, and am thinking of you!

I have just realised it is my one year anniversary of quitting nicotine (I was an NRT user/Vaper for many years, having more or less quit the fags a long while back). It is no coincidence that I did for both nicotine and alcohol in quick succession - and I really took the same approach to both, very much along the lines of what OnceMore described - getting through the physical addiction and then tackling the mental brainwashing - I was/am a big fan of Jason Vale and Allen Carr too.

So I might have a wee treat-me of some sort tonight to celebrate that small victory - the year has really flown by, and it will soon be my 1 year DRY. The days really do rack up quickly, if you can just stick with it, one day at a time!