DRY 11

[TeapotDictator]

Time for a shiny new thread.

Old thread here

for sanity

That sounds rough, I'm sorry. We'll be here for you tomorrow.

sanity I am so sorry to hear that. How are you feeling this morning ?

I had my first drinking dream last night. I was drinking out of two very large glasses of wine and celebrating my month sober. It was really horrible because when I woke up I was really upset that I had thrown all my good work out of the window. The relief when I remembered it wasn't true was huge. I hope it doesn't happen again.

boodles well done !! I am seeing a dr from the alcohol service this morning so I will let you know what they say. Also have my CBT session this afternoon with the therapist I have been seeing and lying to for years. I haven't seen him for 7 weeks although he knows I have stopped drinking. I am a bit worried seeing him is a potential trigger because after seeing him and lying and him telling me I was overthinking my drinking I used to go straight home and drink. The fact that it is Friday today is not going to help either.

Hi
day 1 here.

Being away with work was too much for me and I caved. feeling rough today, jittery and paranoid. Really don't like this and I know what I need to do. but ugh. so much to do and just want to crawl under the covers and let things go by without me.

Sanity hope you're ok.

Vxa I know what you mean about a trigger like that. I wonder if it would break the spell if you tell the counsellor about it? Confess how much you were drinking before, tell that you've stopped and also tell that you have an association with drinking after sessions and can they help you with that today?

Good luck!

Thanks once he knows all the stuff about me lying and how much I was drinking really because I emailed him with all the gory details after I stopped. He doesn't know that I used to drink after seeing him so I think you are right we can look at that today.

Hope it goes well vxa maybe you could plan something else to replace the association with as well, treat yourself to nice coffee and cake somewhere or something?

I'm off for my first exercise session in about 2 years.

I always said I'd get back into it once I'd stopped drinking.

It's been a long time coming, looking forward to it

Hi all, Day 49 here for me, AND its a Friday AND its a BH weekend and tomorrow I shall be 50 days sober, AND i have had a bitch of a week ... so i bought myself a treat...

www.seedlipdrinks.com/

a proper bottle of a proper grownup drink that does NOT contain alcohol !

vxa therapists are used to people finding to too difficult to tell them the whole truth - I think that's more accurate than 'lying' because 'lying' implies to me that there is some gain for you and clearly you know there is no gain in not telling your therapist the truth. ( sorry that's complicated but I hope you get what I mean). People don't always tell everything because they are embarrassed, ashamed, afraid, and countless other reasons - and also because you don't KNOW this person at the beginning That's why we talk about a therapeutic relationship developing between the client and therapist - so that trust can develop .. Ill shut up now, but very very good luck.

howbad - I cant imagine how hard it is to have to travel for work at weekends, so no judging from me re your slip BUT I am going to ask you, in the spirit of your own fabulous rules back in the day .... what could you do differently next time? why exactly did you fee that drinking would make the situation better ? HALT ? anxious ? pissed off ?? Big hug for you and hope you are home this BH weekend

sanity I'm so sorry to hear that. Is this related to your drinking ? is it a definite ? Must be very tough for you

Happy BH weekend to everyone - although I know I will be on here loads - as normally a BH would be a chance to get very smashed!

Boodles WELL DONE xxx

Hi Lily,
DAY 49!!! WOOO!

Thanks for the pep talk. It was just being away, being emotional (good and bad - anxious and also exhilarated about the parts that went well), feeling like I just didn't have the energy to watch myself properly. I also ate a lot of junk that I haven't eaten for weeks and I'm feeling the impact of that too. I was feeling tired, strung out (jet lagged and getting very little sleep) and I lost sight of why it matters and why doing what I want to do feels so much better.

The tipping point was being taken out as a big group to an informal bar dinner with an activity. My feet hurt, there were lots of people milling about, and I felt I needed to look like I was having fun and good at that sort of relationship building when I really wanted to sit down and have some peace and quiet and a nutritious dinner. I need strategies for things like that - actually I have them! - but it was sprung on me and not what I was expecting and I was tired.

After that I drank every night for the rest of the trip and oh man, I feel it. I never got falling over shitfaced but I did drink in my room after the others had gone to bed.

Now I'm jittery and paranoid and nervous. Sugar, booze, coffee - I only need 3 days of stupid behaviour and it makes me dysfunctional.

Thank god I don't need to live like this all the time.

Hi everyone.

to Sanity and to HowBad.

howbad it's really good you know why it happened and you are clear you can't drink. Go easy on yourself. Be kind

Thank you lily 49 days - brilliant

Have had my appt. It was really hard having to go through again how much I was drinking and brought all the shame and guilt back. What a mess.

The dr said I could have had a lot more support with a mini detox and short term meds. I got very overwhelmed and once I started literally sobbing I couldn't stop. Have been prescribed Acamprosate and a low dose of diazepam to take as I need.

I was supposed to be working today but I am in no fit state so I am going to take leave. Still day 30 for me ...

for sanity

Good luck to vxa

Hi to SlimCheesy and thank you for the flowers!

Enjoy the exercise OnceMore

Hello hello to everyone

Hi Lily - Lucy has mentioned Seedlip here and on her blog. Let me know how you find it would you please? I googled it and thought it looked interesting, but expensive, and it had mixed reviews. But I really really like the idea of it! And well done on 49 days, and Boodles too on a month!

vxa, yeah I had a bout of counselling a few years ago where I ahem neglected to mention my drinking and it would have been relevant but I couldn't bring myself to be honest because then I would really have to address my drink problem and I wasn't ready to do that at that point. You've brought it out into the open now and you and the therapist will be able to work through the trigger aspect. It'll be fine.

Howbad, your work trip sounds intolerable. I hope you can have a calm weekend.

vxa in 2013 I began counselling sessions with an addiction counsellor and lied about my drinking. I said for months I was there for food addiction. I finally came clean. I was too ashamed, too worried, too in denial.

:) I laugh now.

It will be fine. :)

Crossposted with everyone there because DH tried to talk to me while I was typing and it slowed me right down!

vxa, look after yourself. That kind of shit is better out than in, but so draining for you. Good to take the rest of the day off. Be very nice to yourself. Very nice.

I love Purdeys silver bottle. It's a vitamin and fruit juice drink, with a little ginseng and something called damiana which is meant to have antidepressive properties.

Tastes nice though, that's the main thing

Where do you buy that, Oncemore? Sounds nice.
And what kind of exercising did you do? Do you feel like a new woman?

and I felt I needed to look like I was having fun and good at that sort of relationship building when I really wanted to sit down and have some peace and quiet and a nutritious dinner.

This is EXACTLY the kind of thing I find really hard. I went to an exhibition private view yesterday - lots of wine. was fine with my first and second glass of water, but after 90 minutes I was desperate to get out. I can't cope with social events where I don' t know people well - (two people asked me why i wasn't drinking - one if I was 'expecting' ! which given I am over 50 seemed unlikely ! ) fortunately I have been in places where I can leave, and not stuck on a work trip ....

va2 day 30 is absolutely excellent - well done!!! Be kind to yourself my love, you are doing brilliantly.

Hope you are ok sanity?

Am thinking of some strategies for this bank holiday weekend - we would usually be at an event in the village my dh is from which is a trip down boozy memory lane for me and I would have found it very hard to go and be sober - but we have decided to give it a miss this year for various reasons, my need to be sober being one of them. Am relieved and sad at the same time.

I think my most recent slip and the results of feeling awful are still fresh enough to serve as a barrier to drinking. Planning to swim as much as possible and perhaps a blow the cobwebs off walk somewhere pretty if the weather cheers up a bit. Nice meals, trip to the garden centre to get some plants, catch up on Marcella / Undercover/ The Tunnel with DH who has been away all week.

Anyone got more exciting plans?

no nothing. I am planning to go to the gym, and do some classes. I hope to paint on Monday, spend some quality time with my children, cook some nice stuff, catch up with Marcella and Masterchef (and Bear Grylls with the kids) also have personal accounts to prepare ( Boo) and a lot of 'sorting out' to do.

Tonight though, I am going to try my Seedlip !

Do report back on the Seedlip, am wondering whether to get some!

Lilybetsy hope you like Seedlip - I really do! I've got some free samples of another new AF botanical winging it's way to me so I'll let you all know what I think of that too (& details of a pre-launch 30% off discount)
Sanity & Howbad
I was also in counselling for a long time and ahem failed to mention my drinking until the last session literally as I was leaving - one of those door handle moments!
Stay strong sober warriors - Friday and a BH, double bubble. Three mornings to enjoy without a hangover

Umpteen I get it from supermarket but you can also buy from Amazon if you like it want to buy bulk.

I also bought some this evening from whsmith on the motorway

I did Pilates this morning. It was great! Then went home and vacuumed, tidied, sorted washing for kids trip to their dad's. Then I treated myself to a lie down/cuppa/eastenders on iplayer

I drove a 3-hour round trip tonight on motorway to deliver children. Normally my DP drives but I opted to do it myself today as he was busy until later. Normally I'm too anxious for this journey and it freaks me right out but it was absolutely fine today. I really seem to have lost the majority of my anxiety since I stopped boozing

Hope everyone has lovely plans for the BH weekend. Time with family, long baths, films, chocolate, pizza or whatever floats your boats

On my second Seedlip and tonic. I LOVE it .. It smells of cloves which reminds me of Zanzibar , and it has really complex and adult flavours esp mixed with the tonic ... It IS expensive , the bottle cost me almost £30 - but I could havE Spent that on wine in 2 days .... And I love it :-)