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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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AIBU to be on the brink of cracking up

275 replies

shrubbery · 22/02/2016 21:16

My partner has issues, which, as you may have read, has been causing problems in our family life.
One of them is buying random drugs on the internet. A rattly package arrived today, so after he got home, opened it and went to have a bath, I checked his bag, (I've had to go to his GP before about stuff he was taking). I found the pills, but also noticed a small metal tin next to them. Inside it was a neatly folded tissue - and he never neatly folds anything. I carefully unfolded it and inside were 3 pubic hairs.
I am sitting here shaking and my palms are sweating. I think it is my flight response kicking in. I just want to run out of here in my pyjamas and never stop running.

OP posts:
thecatfromjapan · 22/02/2016 23:32

Most drug tests would require a urine sample given on the spot.
A drug test you can cheat with pre-stored pubes is not a real test.

I think you've been watching too much CSI.

I only say this because I think OP may be willing to believe anything that might normalise this.

Don't blame you OP - it's an appalling situation. Sad

shrubbery · 22/02/2016 23:33

FaceTheFace "Are the hairs for use in passing a drug test?"

I hadn't thought of that - that would offer an alternative explanation, but why on earth would he need to take a drug test. He is no athlete.

OP posts:
UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 22/02/2016 23:35

OP how old is he and how old is the teenage boy? Is he underage? If so, this should be reported as a case of grooming. If he's ordered prescription drugs on the dark web, then that can be reported too.

Don't let him mess with your head, for heavens sake stop talking about it to him - he is lying to you. This all sounds really disturbing.

FaceTheFace · 22/02/2016 23:35

Of course it wouldn't help you pass a real drug test. But people who buy random drugs online buy all sorts of weird shit.

shrubbery · 22/02/2016 23:37

Also, why pubes and not head hair. Not so sure about it now I think about it as an explanation.

TitClash "If the boy next door has been hurt"

No, I don't think he has. I tried to talk to his mother about things before they went away last time, (they've been away together a few times before), saying that I wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea and that I thought it was a bit odd. She backed up the father figure idea and also said that her son was a good judge of character.

OP posts:
FaceTheFace · 22/02/2016 23:37

Regardless, I agree with everyone else - who cares why he has them - the tin of drugs is terrible enough no matter whose pubes they are. Awful.

FuckAbout · 22/02/2016 23:41

Am I the only one putting two and two together here? Could your husband have bought the prescription drugs to possibly sedate the teenage boy on one of these trips away?

You need to get out of there OP.

AnyFucker · 22/02/2016 23:44

I feel like I am on drugs reading this thread Shock

shrubbery · 22/02/2016 23:45

Oh, bloody hell. Now I realise why all the bedding they took when they went away has disappeared. I guess he is 'keeping' that somewhere too.
He's always losing stuff and when I kept asking him where it all was, he said he didn't know, which, knowing him was quite believable, even for a huge bag of bedding.
It just gets worse.

OP posts:
shrubbery · 22/02/2016 23:50

FuckAbout Thanks, that's another one I'd forgotten about. These prescription drugs were stimulants for narcoleptics and shift workers. But, some time back, he left a gadget unlocked and he had been looking up qualudes, (I think that is the right name?).

Seriously though, the boy next door is not in any danger I assure you. He is living with his mum and my 'issue' (I don't want to say partner) is away at work from early 'til late.

All your minds are so helpful in piecing all this together. Mine is too frazzled to function properly.

OP posts:
Thegirlthatwanted2begod · 22/02/2016 23:51

This is very scary to read, op you need to get somewhere safe now/tonight with your dc. Worry about house and school tomorrow.

shrubbery · 22/02/2016 23:52

Either he is one seriously fucked up individual or I am completely and utterly insane with the world's greatest, or possibly worst, imagination.

OP posts:
Crabbitface · 22/02/2016 23:53

Eh? Teenage boy...pubes... sedatives...missing bedding?? FFS!

turkeylovessprout · 22/02/2016 23:53

Haven't read other threads but sounds very. very odd. It would creep me out OP. I agree, I think somebody needs to intervene.
People are into all sorts of weird shit. Cultic practices ect

abbsismyhero · 22/02/2016 23:57

i think the police will think she is nuts for ringing about the pubes in a pot i still think she needs to ring the police about the drugs and her concerns just calm down first and to be honest i think she needs to just leave

the boy next door could be in danger if he is looking up quaaludes or is he slipping them to you?

your mind is too frazzled? im not surprised you're going through a lot right now you can ring women's aid at anytime you don't need to wait till morning you can go to refuge it doesn't have to be for good it can be temporary some women even return to their abusive partners and continue the cycle of abuse but you need to go and straighten your head out be a good mom right now and go

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 22/02/2016 23:58
Hmm
UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 23/02/2016 00:00

I think it's him, not you OP.

Don't think anyone in their right mind would think all you'd put here wasn't seriously disturbing. Pubes in tins ffs.

A father figure. Hmm. You haven't revealed the boy's age - but if I was his mother - he would not be going away on trips with the bloke next door. And that would be the case even if I was unaware of the dark net prescription drug orders.

Quickhelp1 · 23/02/2016 00:01

OP I hope you're ok. It's the oddest thing I've ever read and is making my head hurt, so I can't imagine how you're feeling.

Quickhelp1 · 23/02/2016 00:01

How old is the boy?

How long have they been friends?

NanaNina · 23/02/2016 00:03

I haven't read any of your other posts Shrubbery but please don't let your H convince you that you are the one who is crazy, because that's not true. He sounds a very odd individual and potentially dangerous.

I just wanted to say that it's a myth that leaving your property is unwise and will affect any rights that you have. I don't know who told you that, but it's not true.

I note that you haven't given the age of the teenage boy but since he willingly goes with your H and his mother is happy about it, there's not a lot you can do, unless he is under 16 and you H is having a sexual relationship with him, which is a criminal offence.

I hope you can phone WA tomorrow and go to your dad's house. I wouldn't worry about your son's school - explain that this is an emergency.

figureofspeech · 23/02/2016 00:03

How old is the teenager?

I think you should tell the police what you've told us here in the morning after he's left for work.

BitchPeas · 23/02/2016 00:04

OP if this boy is under 16 or in anyway vulnerable please call the police.

turkeylovessprout · 23/02/2016 00:05

You have a gut instinct from somewhere. He is crazymaking (making you feel like the crazy one to cover it up) He is effectively making you go mad.
It's all emotional torment.
I've had enough of it in my life to know. I also had a mother who was in denial for 20 years that my father was abusing his children. She knew, she couldn't face it. I'm in no way saying that he's doing this or this to your neighbour as I don't know facts but the mere fact that you are putting pieces together and are scared is enough to get out.
You need to protect your child.
I hope you get help soon OP.

shrubbery · 23/02/2016 00:05

"OP if this boy is under 16 or in anyway vulnerable please call the police."

He's 17 now.

OP posts:
Quickhelp1 · 23/02/2016 00:08

And how long have they been friends?

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