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Original poster

Contacted by someone claiming to be DH OW

424 replies

Glitterunicorn · 21/02/2016 09:50

A woman has been contacting me over the last month on Facebook messenger telling me how my husband has been cheating me.

Everytime I have received the messages I seem to get immediately blocked or the profile gets deleted so I can't message back. I thought it was just someone messing about.

She has been really quite vague but I have managed to message this person this morning and get a response. She has sent a copied and pasted version of Facebook messages from my husband to her. It seems that he has been chasing her to meet up.

My husband is at work until this afternoon so I will speak to him when he comes back.
I wanted screen shots but she won't send them to me. Should I confront my husband without proper proof?

My husband does work away and the messages do correspond with when he was away last before Xmas.

OP posts:
goodnightdarthvader1 · 21/02/2016 10:25

I think darryl wants you to ask her some questions Grin

Good advice on the reverse image search.

ImperialBlether · 21/02/2016 10:26

I was going to suggest that, too - do a reverse image search of the images on her FB.

Fairenuff · 21/02/2016 10:27

It sounds like a fake profile to me.

WickedWax · 21/02/2016 10:28

I'm not convinced of an affair here.

How private is your DH profile? Is there anything open/public on there where she could have picked up that he was away from home before xmas and so has made the messages 'fit'.

I'm not sure how she's blocking you because as far as I'm aware, when you 'unblock' someone on FB you can't 'reblock' them for 48 hours.

MattDillonsPants · 21/02/2016 10:28

There was a case like this on here very recently and it was a hoax.

iwuddarryl · 21/02/2016 10:30

Even if it's a fake profile it could still be genuine in other ways.
She wants his wife to find out, but wants to remain incognito.

Also, OP has said that it does coincide with when he was 'working away'

How would a scammer know that'

Original poster
Glitterunicorn · 21/02/2016 10:31

Ok I'm going to have a look at the reverse image.

Just been back on the profile and I am heading towards a fake profile.
No new pics added since 2012. The profile pic changes every 6months but it's of pics already in her albums. Not many photos and also only the odd like of 1/2 on some of the photos.
I don't have many friends on mine but if I post a pic even I get a few likes.
Doesn't quite all add up

OP posts:
WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 21/02/2016 10:32

It does sound a bit odd. I remember someone on mn having this happen and it wasn't true. Though I have no idea why people would make this up and contact women saying this stuff.

cranberryx · 21/02/2016 10:33

I am leaning towards fake profile, it might be a troll just going around doing this for kicks.

I would reverse image as PP's have suggested and then block. Perhaps report to Facebook?

iwuddarryl · 21/02/2016 10:34

I would still be doing a bit of detective work.
Phone messages, laptop. I would be going over phone bills, receipts for that time.
All those things need to be done before confronting, otherwise he will just hide everything.

Original poster
Glitterunicorn · 21/02/2016 10:40

DH profile is quite tight apart from some pics he has got some work pics dating back to those dates on there.

He works within a sports industry and occasionally puts up a pic of his work and a celeb or two as a few of his friends lap it up. Not huge stars but household names on the BBC every now and again.

OP posts:
starry0ne · 21/02/2016 10:40

I personally would do a bit of digging regardless...

Ask him about it and watch his reaction...

ChasingPavements · 21/02/2016 10:41

Definitely do some more digging around. Google images is a great idea. Try googling her name/location too - usually that throws something up.

Something sounds very dodgy here...your DH might be having an affair, but equally you might be the victim of some nutter.

majorcrowdpleaser · 21/02/2016 10:47

Sounds very much like a scam/fake to me. Does she mention that she is local? Have you googled her name to see if it comes up on electoral roll search sites like 192? When I was first on Facebook I had several friends requests they were all of very attractive young women but strangely we had no common friends and they all only had 10-20 friends - I always ignored them and changed my settings. I am sure your DH is innocent.

Buzzardbird · 21/02/2016 10:49

Try googling "anyone else had dodgy messages off ?"

Her profile sounds totally fake to me.

Is it the same person every time?

ofuckit · 21/02/2016 10:50

My gut feeling is that it's fake.

This FB person aside, do you have any reason to think your H would be cheating on you? Any suspicions before you had these messages?

HappyTalking · 21/02/2016 10:50

Something about it just seems odd to me. I would talk to DH and let him know what has been said, see how he reacts.

GabiSolis · 21/02/2016 10:50

Re the Facebook photo thing, if you are not her friend, it may look as though she hasn't updated recently. Some peoples profile security settings make it look like they haven't updated for 3 years and the only photos they have put up are their profile pictures. She may well have a fake profile but she could just as easily have decent security settings.

I'm sorry OP, it doesn't sound good, does it? Did you have any suspicions prior to this? I would personally try to do a bit of digging before having a discussion with DH (discussion rather than confrontation).

Alfieisnoisy · 21/02/2016 10:52

Just to chuck a spanner in the works...a friend had this ...from a fake profile but it had obvious,y been set up by the OW to hide her identity. He was indeed having an affair.

Original poster
Glitterunicorn · 21/02/2016 10:54

Reverse images are bringing up no results. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

The name looks like a first and middle name rather than a surname.

DH has a iPhone and iPad and the two are linked so shows all messages. His iPad is here and his phone is with him. Can someone tell me if you delete messages on your phone does it automatically delete them on his iPad?

OP posts:
314Romaniac · 21/02/2016 10:54

Sounds like somebody's second account.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/02/2016 10:55

I agree that a fb account with tight security will look pretty inactive if you aren't friends

ghostoftheMNchicken · 21/02/2016 10:56

Regarding the possibility that the profile is a fake set up by another woman bear in mind that the profile is quite a few years old. If an OW did set up a fake profile, wouldn't it be new? And why bother with photos at all?

iwuddarryl · 21/02/2016 10:56

I agree with Alifie
We are concentrating too much on whether the profile is fake or not.
Even if she has set up a fake profile, she and her claims could still be genuine.

(Lots of people have two facebook profiles.

Buzzardbird · 21/02/2016 10:58

Oh that's true. Mmmm.

Is it the same woman each time? You said you normally get blocked?