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Original poster

Contacted by someone claiming to be DH OW

424 replies

Glitterunicorn · 21/02/2016 09:50

A woman has been contacting me over the last month on Facebook messenger telling me how my husband has been cheating me.

Everytime I have received the messages I seem to get immediately blocked or the profile gets deleted so I can't message back. I thought it was just someone messing about.

She has been really quite vague but I have managed to message this person this morning and get a response. She has sent a copied and pasted version of Facebook messages from my husband to her. It seems that he has been chasing her to meet up.

My husband is at work until this afternoon so I will speak to him when he comes back.
I wanted screen shots but she won't send them to me. Should I confront my husband without proper proof?

My husband does work away and the messages do correspond with when he was away last before Xmas.

OP posts:
SoThatHappened · 21/02/2016 13:12

And also blueshoes threads asking I know my friend is cheating or is being cheated on..should I tell them.

The bench is always split but most people say they would rather know than face the humiliation of people knowing about it and saying nothing to them.

But after the reaction from her and from your not so pleasant message, blueshoes, if I ever discover a situation like this again I will say nothing and the hell with it all. Not my problem anymore, it is theirs and good luck to them.

CityMole · 21/02/2016 13:16

Stop snooping and whipping yourself into a frenzy of suspicion and talk to your husband. There is every possibility he is innocent in this, especially if the marriage otherwise is good. If he has something to hide, his face may give him away, but I would honestly ignore the people saying " sorry, this is an affair". There is not a shred of evidence of that despite your digging (and why did the purported 'OW' cut and paste a msg, rather than sending you a far more definitive screenshot. Really? Because there is no message from your h to her.) I'm surprised you are being encouraged to indulge in the mindset of the victim-wife on the basis of so little, and that you seem to be embracing that possibility so blithely.
By all means sharpen your senses, but for goodness sake speak to the man now and hope that he isn't furious with you for keeping all of this from him, as it affects him just as much as/ more than you if he is innocent.

Hissy · 21/02/2016 13:16

Tell her to ftfo and whateve it is she's selling, you ain't buying and your passing the details to the police.

Then sort out your FB security!

If she were real, and doing this for altruistic purposes, she'd make sure you believed her.

Hissy · 21/02/2016 13:17

You're*

PlaymobilPirate · 21/02/2016 13:17

Honestly - just speak to him, face to face. You'll know instantly.

Fwiw I think she's full of shit and is just some troll trying to screw up a random stranger's marriage. Scarily people like that do exist.

Don't let some random turn you into someone who is suspicious if you don't feel he's cheated x

AnnieOnnieMouse · 21/02/2016 13:25

Glitterunicorn I have pm'd you.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 21/02/2016 13:26

Yes there is something about this that does not add up. Someone unhinged or with some sort of weird vendetta against you or your DH. if it was reversed I would hope he would speak to me rather than snoop so I am going to speak to him when he gets back. Good idea.

SoThatHappened · 21/02/2016 13:27

Yeah and having confronted someone about cheating to their face, their face spoke volumes.

Like a deer caught in the headlights....utter shock and speechless. Followed by stammering and not making eye contact.

it would take an utter sociopath to take it on the chin and not react at al if it was true.

Just ask him.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 21/02/2016 13:28

CityMouse and others, are you completely missing the part where the OP said:

If it was reversed I would hope he would speak to me rather than snoop so I am going to speak to him when he gets back.

funkky · 21/02/2016 13:29

I would get more proof from her before confronting DH because he's never going to tell you 'yes I am cheating on you' and you will always worry

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 21/02/2016 13:29

Sorry, I meant CityMole

Twinklestein · 21/02/2016 13:34

I'm amused that so many posters think that it's more likely that some random stranger has decided to destroy this marriage, than that DH is chasing after another woman.

pocketsaviour · 21/02/2016 13:34

"My phone won't do screenshots"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA troll. If she can get on facebook, she can take a screenshot! Fake as fuck.

Katenka · 21/02/2016 13:37

I'm amused that so many posters think that it's more likely that some random stranger has decided to destroy this marriage, than that DH is chasing after another woman.

why?

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 21/02/2016 13:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoThatHappened · 21/02/2016 13:41

I can see both sides of the argument. But I ask myself under what circumstances I would contact another womans husband and lie about an affair just for a laugh.

Never.

Unless she is crazy. But how could some random crazy woman come to know your husband. Unless he has a big presence on facebook / member of public groups etc?

eatyouwithaspoon · 21/02/2016 13:42

FWIW my phone refuses to take screen shots too tight to fix it

SoThatHappened · 21/02/2016 13:44

I was also told to take a screen shot of something. I said my phone doesnt do it and insisted it doesnt.

A friend took it out of my hands and showed me how to do it....all these years I didnt know how to do that! I just didnt know how.

Dontdrinkandfacebook · 21/02/2016 13:46

Ask her to tell you where exactly he was when she met him. If it's been while he was away on business then she should at least be able to give you a geographical location.

So far she sounds like a nasty troll.

WickedWax · 21/02/2016 13:47

But I ask myself under what circumstances I would contact another womans husband and lie about an affair just for a laugh

I dunno, same reasons people troll the pregnancy and bereavement boards on here.

Bluelilies · 21/02/2016 13:48

Doing it for a laugh seems odd.

But contacting the wife of someone you're having an affair with repeatedly yet offering no proof seems just as odd.

I would guess that when you talk to him OP you'll get a sense from how he reacts. If he's been having an affair I'd guess he'll be quick to dismiss her as a nutcase. But if he's not he'd likely be quite curious about who she is and why she's picked on you/him

Always possible she's someone he knows who fancies him but hasn't yet had anything going on with him. Or a fake profile set up by someone who fits that bill. That's the only motivation can see for it - create problems in someone's marriage, make them single, get together with them.

AndYourBirdCanSing · 21/02/2016 13:51

Can you get onto his facebook?

GruntledOne · 21/02/2016 13:51

It's very easy for a random crazy woman to pick up on some man and decide to do this kind of thing, SoThat. It's more or less the precise modus operandi of stalkers.

ghostoftheMNchicken · 21/02/2016 13:53

Funnily enough I learned about the reverse Google image search on an XO Jane article about a trolling catfish. people do it for shits and giggles, or out of malice or because they're bored. Look at the number of troll threads on Mumsnet or that hacking nonsense that happened a while back. Why does anyone bother to do any of that? And yet they do.

Katenka · 21/02/2016 13:57

I can't believe anyone here would be shocked by someone being trolled.

That is what could be happening to the OP. There are tons of trolls on mn alone. Why wouldn't they be on Facebook.