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Original poster

Contacted by someone claiming to be DH OW

424 replies

Glitterunicorn · 21/02/2016 09:50

A woman has been contacting me over the last month on Facebook messenger telling me how my husband has been cheating me.

Everytime I have received the messages I seem to get immediately blocked or the profile gets deleted so I can't message back. I thought it was just someone messing about.

She has been really quite vague but I have managed to message this person this morning and get a response. She has sent a copied and pasted version of Facebook messages from my husband to her. It seems that he has been chasing her to meet up.

My husband is at work until this afternoon so I will speak to him when he comes back.
I wanted screen shots but she won't send them to me. Should I confront my husband without proper proof?

My husband does work away and the messages do correspond with when he was away last before Xmas.

OP posts:
APlaceOnTheCouch · 22/02/2016 13:20

Maybe OP's DH blocked her because they had a mutual friend. Otherwise, you have to change all your privacy settings so no mutual friends can see posts. I've blocked people for that reason.

ChasingPavements · 22/02/2016 13:22

My hunch on this is that there is a colleague (perhaps ex colleague) who is pissed off with both your husband and the other bloke. S/he has decided to get revenge by creating a web of deceit - sending first the men messages and then their partners. S/he didn't screenshot the messages between her and your DH as there wasn't much to show, far better to 'copy & paste' the messages and massage their content.

There are odd people who do odd things all the time.

No-one knows the truth about this yet, other than the person sending the messages. Yep, the DH could have been having an affair, but based on everything we know it is equally as likely as it's someone out to cause problems for another reason entirely.

OP, it would be really helpful if you could let us know more detail of what this person is saying in their messages to you?

TheFridgePickersKnickers · 22/02/2016 15:31

Something fishy here. That troll is being like a dog with a bone.

Stalker alert. The trolls behaviour is now a bit too unsettling tbh. Who the fuck can be arsed to stay up all night trolling? I'll tell you who - someone off their fucking rocker!!

Original poster
Glitterunicorn · 22/02/2016 18:17

I think I have worked out who it is. It may be a huge coincidence. He's what I have found.

For the purpose of this I will call DHs friend Scottie.

I asked the fake how s/he knew both my DH and his friend.

S/he he messaged back and said I met your DH and "scoth" in the pub on X date.

More exchanges took place and s/he said both my DH and "Scoth" have been "unfaithfull" to there wives.

When the girlfriend messaged me she referred to Scottie as Scoth and she said that she does believe he was not "unfaithful" to her.

I've never met either the friend or his gf, this is too much a coincidence right? I'm not barking up the wrong tree, I think it's her.

But in reality why would his gf not only be winding me up but her bf too? It seems to far fetched.

DH is not back yet so I can't talk to him.

OP posts:
Gobbolino6 · 22/02/2016 18:27

I'm confused. This is so complicated now isn't it? Why would it be her? The term unfaithful is a common term. Presumably 'Scottie' is a bloke nickname thing and 'Scott')(not sure about the Scoth) is what his gf calls him and what he introduces himself as.

It's either a hoax related somehow to work, or he knows something more than he's letting on. I have absolutely no idea which and I have no idea how you get to the bottom of it.

Has it been reported to his work?

Buzzardbird · 22/02/2016 18:34

If it is a work colleague though he/she might know his nickname that his gf uses?

merseyside · 22/02/2016 18:36

I'm confused as fuck

TheNaze73 · 22/02/2016 18:37

I think he's totally innocent here

peggyundercrackers · 22/02/2016 18:41

I think he's completely innocent and your DHs colleagues GF is a bunny boiler.

PushingThru · 22/02/2016 18:51

Are the colleague & the gf in on this together?

lifesalongsong · 22/02/2016 18:55

That could be the case, is there anyway you could set some kind of trap and see if either the gf or the fb person fall into it eg tell the girlfriend that you're worried that your DH might have cheated at XYZ event and see if the fb person mentions that specific event.

I think OP has caused confusion with the "unfaithfull" - I think she means that both people spelt it incorrectly in the same way

Secretlove · 22/02/2016 18:58

I don't have a clue about your theory.

TendonQueen · 22/02/2016 18:59

She's picked that up from something the girlfriend has said somewhere. Same with the mobile number that she (or he) has obviously gone away and dug up. It's all rubbish.

HilaryA38 · 22/02/2016 18:59

Don't know if someone has already said this, but maybe the girlfriend fancies your husband, he's not interested, so this is her way of causing trouble...could be a complete nutter and pretended to Scottie that she had been contacted by someone claiming to be having an affair with him...mentally-unstable, of course, as well as attention-seeking drama queen...

TendonQueen · 22/02/2016 19:01

And I have no problem believing in unfaithful men. This just sounds like a crap effort to fake that scenario.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 22/02/2016 19:05

It's all crap because if you block someone, you are no longer friends. The message on Facebook clearly says "If you block XX, you will no longer be friends."

So there is no way that your DH's colleague had her as a mutual friend, and had blocked her for this before. She wouldn't be a mutual friend then, because she was blocked, so you'd never have made the link to him.

Or, she was a mutual friend, but that means DH's colleague had never blocked her - so his story is rubbish.

gingermumi · 22/02/2016 19:07

Just a thought..... could the work colleague's gf be the one having a fling with your dh? This could be a convoluted way of letting the cat out of the bag.

tealoveryum · 22/02/2016 19:09

I think you and your husband may have been played by the colleague and his girlfriend.

APlaceOnTheCouch · 22/02/2016 19:10

So you think the friend's gf is the facebook person? Maybe they both call the friend the same nickname because they've been in touch with each other eg if fb person contacted the gf and said 'scottie was cheating' and gf called him 'scoth' in all her messages then the facebook person would possibly adopt that spelling in her messages.

ThatsNotMyRabbit · 22/02/2016 19:13

What OP is getting at with the "unfaithfull" bit is not the word but the misspelling.
I think.

Original poster
Glitterunicorn · 22/02/2016 19:15

Unfaithful was spelt wrong on gf and the fake profile.

And the Scottie / scotch thing it's not a shorter version of the name it's a shorter but letter changed.

Not Richard to Rich more of a Richard to Rick where the letter changes.

DH has always referred to him by his full name.

DH doesn't know the gf either. They don't have work dos with WAGS.

I am really confused by all this now

OP posts:
PushingThru · 22/02/2016 19:17

It's definitely either the gf or colleague + gf together. I think you should speak to the gf again & say you are thinking about contacting the police to find the source of harassment & see whether the messages dry up. Ask if she'd be prepared to share the messages she received as evidence also. See whether she tries to deter you, back off, suggests she'd doesn't have them anymore etc.

PushingThru · 22/02/2016 19:18

She definitely wrote those messages.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 22/02/2016 19:27

TalkStyle and beauty

Is Paula 's choice cheaper in the States10

Today 14:59MamaAwayOnBusiness

Need to replenish a few things from PC but thinking I may hold off as I'm going to be in the States in a month. Does anyone know if I can findPC cheaper there?

Today 16:40RayFuckingPurchase

Yes but I think it's still sold online only, though I might be wrong. Check out the US version of the website for prices - think it's quite a bit cheaper.

Really wish PC would come to somewhere like John Lewis!

Today 16:50shirkingworking

Probably not now the pound has plunged....!

Today 17:30MamaAwayOnBusiness

Yes online prices seem much cheaper than here. Alas just double checked, they sell in very few shops like you say, no stockists in Atlanta, which is where I'm going.Back to paying through the nose then

Today 17:36RayFuckingPurchase

Annoying, isn't it. Is there anyone over there you know well enough to order it for you?

Today 17:47magnoliamom

Doesn't Nordstrom carry it? I think I've seen it on their website anyway, perhaps you could find it at a Nordstrom in ATL or order it and collect it from the store?

Today 18:28MamaAwayOnBusiness

It's only selected Nordstrom shops that stock it apparentlymagnoliaand none of them in Georgia. I think I'll ask the hotel if they'll accept a delivery for me.

Today 18:37RayFuckingPurchase

Magnoliathat's good to know, thank you for the tip. I'm often a business trip widow so will submit a shopping list for the next one.

Today 19:06magnoliamom

Too bad they don't have it in the store - I have had Nordstrom deliver to hotels when I've been in the US for work, too. Their customer service is generally pretty good. I did order over the phone to make sure that it was all in order though. Good luck, it is frustrating to see how much cheaper it is over there.

Today 19:18ExasperatedAlmostAlways

I don't believe it. If it were true shed send screen shots and she'd of known your dhs number straight away she's had to go dig for it.

I think it could be your dhs colleague and his girlfriend both doing it and saying they were contacted too as a cover up because why would he still be friends with that profile had she really messaged all that stuff to his girlfriend. I think she's the one mainly messaging but he knows and provided your dh mobile number.

I'd speak to your husband and reply saying I don't believe you and iv now been I touch with the police who are investigating they have discovered your identity through your ip address and will be in contact soon do not contact me again. Then get your dp to not mention it at all to his colleague and IF he tries to bring it up you can gauge what he asks and he should back up your story if it's them they will shit themselves. However, I do wonder if it is his girlfriend if she's perhaps heard about your dh being unfaithful and wanted notify you without letting on it was her or she could just be a trouble maker.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 22/02/2016 19:30

Oh for fucks sake im sorry I pressed add post and I typed my post (bottom part of that message) pressed post and it was on the wrong thread copied only my past to post here and have accidentally copied the whole thing sorry!