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Original poster

Do you know if you're having bad sex?

550 replies

FLAMEinEckItsYuleAgain · 30/12/2006 14:52

Odd conversation with someone the other day... if all you've ever had is bad sex or sex with one person - do you know its bad? Or do you only realise when you get the good stuff?

OP posts:
kama · 30/12/2006 22:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

WeWishUAMerryXmasNANappyNewYr · 30/12/2006 22:41

i reckon i've only ever had mediocre sex. i find it takes me a while to get to the big O and most of the men i've ever been with ... in fact i'm gonna use the words boys here (no i'm not a paedophile just only 18) have been selfish lovers. as in they have sex to get the most out of it for them and didn't give a rat's arse about what it did for me. the term human wanking machine comes to mind i think they werep erfectly capable of good sex it was just whenever i would get anywhere near close it would all be over then i met my true love. now i don't think he was really better in that department than the other people but he was more sensitive, more willing to experiment and find out what we enjoyed oh and i realised this was actually love and i always think that makes it better. but then i am a soppy old bugger woah i've gone on a bit haven't i?

gemmiegoatlegs · 30/12/2006 22:45

agree with suzy about the good sex and bad sex coming from the same source...i suppose it can't always be great.

DeckthehallsLaDiDaDi · 30/12/2006 23:27

I've wondered this before and had a chat with my girlfriends about it.

I think that the difference between crap sex and good sex is probably easy to tell but that the difference between good sex and great sex is probably a bit more subtle and highly individual.

Dp and I have sex less often now than we did a couple of years ago but it's more likely to be great sex than good sex iyswim.

lazyanna has posted before about lack of sex in long-term relationships being inevitable. I don't believe her.

SantasFattymumma · 30/12/2006 23:30

the best way to tell is to buy a toy lock the bedroom door and have a play for a few hours. feel what it feels like to have an amazing orgasm.....if he makes you feel like that during sex its good if not there is room for improvement.

choosyfloosy · 30/12/2006 23:54

mmm. i remember boasting when I was 19 that I was really good in bed how wrong I was, although my fellow 19 year olds probably didn't care too much (sometimes I really like men).

I kind of have always assumed that there must be better sex out there than I was getting, as I don't have orgasms with partners but have multiple ones by myself, but who cares really as it's still pretty good, much better since childbirth. I had some sex therapy about it but couldn't force myself to do all the self-loving exercises (who has two completely free evenings on their own in the house every week?)

just realised I must be a narcissist.

expatinscotland · 30/12/2006 23:58

that's a really loaded question.

twinsetandpearls · 31/12/2006 00:16

backa again now, this thread prompted me to nip off for a quickie!

CaptainFlameSparrow · 31/12/2006 01:08

I dunno if I'm ovulating or something... getting very irked at DH for being ill when I am wanting things!

expatinscotland · 31/12/2006 01:16

I know now, when sex is bad.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 31/12/2006 01:19

At the time, or generally speaking?

DeepPann007 · 31/12/2006 01:34

is there such a thing as bad sex???? >

VeniVidiVickiQV · 31/12/2006 01:38

Pan - how are you doing my lovely?

DeepPann007 · 31/12/2006 01:40

fine, hon. just mailed you - still fever'd up with thoat head. dd got a bit short-changed today, but we still did lots of board game playing and some reading. She won the games.....of course.....

VeniVidiVickiQV · 31/12/2006 01:42

sorry you are still low. Will check email.

DeepPann007 · 31/12/2006 01:47

Maybe I should be DeepThroatPann..!! What do you think expat??

suzycreamcheese · 31/12/2006 14:05

am not expat but is the pann important? i'd go for deep throat, great name imo..mystery, in yer face & political intrigue...

lazyanna · 31/12/2006 14:11

I suspect that if we did an honest survey, most women over 40 would prefer not to have to do it, so it's got nothing to do with a relationship.

WideWebWitch · 31/12/2006 14:14

er absolutely disagree re women over 40! Blimey, wherever did you get that idea from? ?

suzycreamcheese · 31/12/2006 14:18

lazyanna..i'd say most women over 40 are probably having the best sex of their lifes and if not then they should be..

batters · 31/12/2006 14:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeckthehallsLaDiDaDi · 31/12/2006 15:23

Well, if in 12 years time I'm suddenly going to stop wanting sex I better make the most of it now and as dd is with her gps for 24 hours....

PeachysaysBlwyddynNewyddDda · 31/12/2006 15:40

women over 40????

My Mother and my best friends mother would deabte that with some vigour LOL! Mum dind't even hit menopause until 50. And well my FIL's new (ish) partner was 43 when they met and a virgin, lets just say they make up for it now.

chenin · 31/12/2006 15:50

Well.... I'm 52 (late having DDs!) and not had the menopause yet...

A woman is in her prime from 50 onwards... true..

fullmoonfiend · 31/12/2006 16:16

either i'm undiscerning or I've been very lucky - only ever had bad sex once - and that was a mistake from the start (NB: never have sex with a platonic friend).

But then, I'm a bit of an optimist and can generally find something good in most experiences

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