Someone called the police for DV

[DragonsCanHop]

"D"H exploded last night in front of the children over something really stupid (DDs) phone going off when we were sleeping.

He slammed doors and shouted at the children making them all scream and cry, I jumped up to defend them, told him he can't slam doors and talk to them like that. I got in between him and the bedroom door frame and he pulled me out of the way.

He was up in my face sneering at me, he called me all sorts of names and threatened to push me down the stairs, he was yelling at the top of his voice and I was telling him he had to go down stairs at least so I could settle the DC.

Eventually he did but only after yet more name calling with a look of disgust on his face.

I settled the youngest easily (told her it was a bad dream) and eldest came in with me and it all calmed down.

Next thing I know there are 2 policeman at the door, someone had heard him and called 999.

They wanted to arrest him but as it's not happened before and I'm still not sure why he did it I told them he didn't hurt me and I didn't tell them about him threatening me. They said they would log it as a disturbance after completing a DV log sheet.

He messaged our daughter this morning after leaving for work and asked if she called the police. We didn't reply.

I messaged him and told him to find somewhere to stay, we need time apart he replied no and then asked if I was throwing him out over a stupid call on our DDS phone.

I haven't replied and I've left my mobile at home, he keeps calling my work phone.

Please tell me I'm not making too much of this, I feel like I can't make a choice of what to do from now but I know he can't be happy and I've not been happy for a while either but never expected anything like this, he hates me.

Garlic, no, no abuse, actually was diminuing dose as soon as the FOG lifted !

sadly, he has one of the top QCs in the country. & the judge has been manipulated by the pair of them. frankly unbelievable.

Awful, mix. Wishing her the best with what may be a long & frustrating fight.

Hi Dragons, just wanted to say I think you are AMAZING! I can't believe how well you have coped and are continuing to cope with what has happened. I'm in awe of you, you are an inspiration to me as I'm dealing with a 'part time abusive DH'. 🙃

I've been clearing out the garage

I met with the safer place out reach worker, she is the one who has arranged the solicitor appt for next week. We had a great chat and my doctor called whilst I was with her, she is going to write me a new prescription and also print off the visits I've had since 2012 as they are all linked to him. I'm picking them up tomorrow along with a very for a couple of weeks off work.

He is texting/emailing asking to see the children, asking about money, promising to do what ever I want, I've moved the emails into my spam.

I'm seeing the our reach lady again next week, she said she was surprised at how level headed I am in regards to the script and what to expect from him next, I said I have a nest of vipers helping me get ready for each step

I'm knackered and still have no appetite but I feel better after speaking to her and the doctor. The only time I cried was when she asked the question about whether he has ever abused a family pet or animal, he never abused my baby girl but I told her about Roxy and sobbed again.

Last night I sobbed myself to sleep over my dog, not him, I haven't cried about that yet, well I have when I've panicked when he contacts me but nothing like that.

I've moved the emails into my spam.

Is that an automatic rule?

I have a special folder that I only check when I feel like (these days on weekends to confirm contact). All emails from twat go straight there and I don't even know they have arrived unless I check the folder.

That's interesting. I created a completely new email (gmail) that only he has the address for but it's an app on my iPad/phone and pings when he emails.

I moved to spam in the hope that it won't do that, not tested it yet.

I have my work email on my iPad and phone so need to check it frequently.

Dragon, you're incredibly strong.
DD3 will be ok. The school know what's going on. They will be looking out for her.

How are you doing?

Its an iPhone and iPad synched together. I need to keep his emails but I just don't want him flashing up when I'm on here or working because then I get all anxious again and feel I have to read them.

Dragons If you go Into settings, find notifications (rd icon), scroll down to mail and select that, you can then set what you want that mailbox to do. (So you can turn off all notifications and you'll only see the messages when you look in your mailbox).

You are so strong op. You may not think it now but one day you're going to look back and think 'wow I did all that!'.

Archiving the emails is a great idea and takes the wind out of his sails. You are absolutely right to minimise your anxiety by putting boundaries into place.

If you don't mind me asking what did the out reach lady think about what's going on? Did she have any suggestions?

Thank you all so much.

I can normally do these things myself, I'm a strong mided person when not having to deal with all this.

Out reach lady talked about the injunction and made me realise it really is the right thing to do and we filled in one of those questionnaires again where it graded med to high risk, I'm seeing the solicitor for 30 minutes next week and then the lady again the day after. I have all her contact details incase anything pops up that I'm unsure of and she agreed that I'm. It making a big deal out of it and I have been metal ally abused for years (not nice to type and still getting my head around all the wow moments as I start to see it myself)

In the nicest possible way I was hoping she would affirm that point for you. Having an independent objective person say yes you have been abused is going to be very painful but is a watershed moment.

You're on a journey of uncomfortable self discovery, but bloody hell girl you've got a lot of better times ahead of you than the shit you've been dealing with!!!

An unmumsnet hug for you

you'll get to a safe place where it's safe to see the whole picture i guess. tough but necessary stuff and you can handle it.

you're doing so well.

dragons please don't feel any guilt re ADs. I was re prescribed Ads and tablets for anxiety Just recently and I have never been through anything like you are facing now. I think you are doing so well and you should be so so proud of yourself x

Honey, it's ok to feel anxious, it's to be expected.

I'm a great advocate for allowing yourself to feel extreme emotions and allow yourself the space to feel the enormity, but no point in being overwhelmed.

You are going to be fine. Why do i know this? Because you are stronger than I was.

Trust me! This will pass, what you are feeling is normal

My very good friend has finally found my previous threads from the past DV But I/we don't know how to link them here. I need them here in links so I can then print it all out.

Can anyone help?

Can she just fUnd the thread, copy the top banner and then do the usual copy n paste

I really want to read those old threads.

Yes you can. Or just type in the address.

If you're looking at the thread, you should be able to cut/paste the URL from the search bar.

Is anyone good at advance search? I'm not in the right place to work it out, I'm shaking. I want to find the thread I posted in the other place Under the username pissydust

It was in 2012 when I discovered he was reading my threads and emails so I went iver there.

I want everything posted her so I can print it all out.

I don't think the other place can be searched, by definition.
It will need a bit more of detective work.

He is lying

Shirley Glass

Going to leave

There is probably more. Just wait.

I was going to PM but too late. I think TOP threads go after 30 days?