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Relationships

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Roll up, roll up, it's dating thread 96

999 replies

MyGastIsFlabbered · 02/02/2016 18:09

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin
  3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens
  5. Trust your gut instinct
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
  8. If it's not fun- stop
  9. Loo update is mandatory
10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches, and take from it what you will
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Goldfish21 · 19/02/2016 17:27

BorntoFolk, you're not being self indulgent! I think it's really hard when someone you like starts seeing someone new. I went out with a man I called Walt for four months in 2014. I really liked him, but things didn't work out. Before long we were both back on POF. Then he disappeared ... and hasn't reappeared again. I know he's probably met someone, and I have to admit I did feel quite sad for a couple of days. Have you got any irons to take your mind off him?

WavingNotDrowning · 19/02/2016 17:43

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DeeDee47 · 19/02/2016 17:44

Can I ask any match users,.....after I paid for a month subscription yesterday it now says not every member can see me,what does this mean??also lots of 55 yr olds are messaging me?do I need to change anything,any advise would be appreciated,thanks

BornToFolk · 19/02/2016 17:44

Thank you for being nice to me! I am really not sure if I would want a relationship with him anyway. He will get depressed again ( he has bipolar disorder ) and that's horrible for everyone. I think I just wish things were different...that he wasn't ill and that he liked me more. I still hope we can be friends. I was going to ask him round for dinner but will leave that for now.
No other irons really, unless you count Mars who I haven't heard from since Sat and that was to send me a photo of his breakfast...Hmm and MrEloquent who is an ex iron that doesn't want a relationship.

HandyWoman · 19/02/2016 18:00

Hello All!

Good luck for tonight to ladylou and gast - I need loo updates because despite spending loads of time on the apps this week (child free) there is nothing going on in my OLD world - pleeeeease let me live vicariously!

After approx 3 billion messages between Cufflinks and me (incl. late last night) he's gone back in his cave for a bit.

I know he'll be back soon with a 'hi - how are you - no agenda' message. Perhaps this time it'll be longer than a few weeks. I haven't blocked him because the flirtation and he chemistry is massive and hugely fun. And it's the only action I'm getting by a long way! It's just dangerous to meet him.

My other, decent Scot who's in Edinburgh has failed to respond to my Whatssapp to him yesterday afternoon. So boo to him - I'll not be messaging him again. There's maybe a slim fat chance he'll be in touch when back from Edinburgh in Sun. But I'll not be holding my breath.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 19/02/2016 19:04

Just waiting for the bus!

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WavingNotDrowning · 19/02/2016 19:11

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BornToFolk · 19/02/2016 19:40

Right, my final word on Mr2015 and I am drawing the line, I promise.

I am going to try hard to focus on the positives of the relationship. Y'know, the whole "smile because it happened, don't cry because it's over" thang?

Right so, it was my first relationship since breaking up with ExP and it made me realise that I am still attractive to men. Yay!
While it was incredibly tough when he was depressed and wouldn't see me, I am so proud of how I coped; I can be incredibly compassionate when I need to be. Yay!
I got much closer to my best friend. She was so supportive throughout the whole thing. Totally amazing and it means so much to know that she's got my back. Yay!
I know now that I CANNOT rely on one person, especially one man, for my happiness. So, I have strengthened my friendships, made sure I kept busy with hobbies and am trying to improve my career. Yay!
It made me realise that I have my own issues with mental health, that had been bubbling under for a bit, and I'm now addressing these and am much healthier overall. Yay!
Hopefully, we can still be friends. He's amazing and I'm glad that we got some time together. And I know that he thinks a lot of me, even if not in the way I wish he did. Yay!

In short, I think I am probably in a much better place to begin a relationship now, than when I met him.
And if we were still together, I wouldn't be dating (obvs..) and I've had some fun and met some interesting people doing that since we split...not least of all you lot! So yay!

And now I draw the line under the Mr2015 story....unless he splits up with his current girlfriend and decides he wants me back, in which case expect to hear from me A LOT on the subject. Grin

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gast and goldfish Enjoy your dates! And I join with handy in a plea for loo updates...

handy enjoy your flirtation with Cufflinks. Why the hell not? You sound as though you have your head screwed on with him.

dee Something sounds wrong with your match settings but I have no idea what! I'd give them a ring if I was you, make sure you get your £5 worth!

lady have you heard back from MrHR? It does sound as though he may be blowing you off...bit cheeky asking you to come off PoF though! I presume he's still on there? Hmm

waving Yay for the other iron and for the breeziness. Glad you are feeling better about Soho.

Mom2k some people are just not great at chatting. Especially to someone they haven't met...It's good that you are still exchanging messages though, see how things pan out when you actually meet him.

Nowt new from me! As I said earlier, nothing from Mears since Saturday but that was never going anywhere anyway, except maybe sexting and I am now getting all my sexting needs met by MrEloquent, except he's been a bit quiet for the past couple of days. I haven't really had a chance to ask him if his T&Cs have changed but I will. And then that'll be another one to draw a line under I think. But I'm glad I got in contact with him. It's been nice, and fun, and I'm seeing things for what they are now. I had built him up into "the one that got away" and been all mopey and romantic about it, when in actual fact, he's just a bloke. He's a great bloke, I think, and I think we'd be compatible but at the end of the day, he's just a bloke with issues and a relationship-phobia.

Right, I'm heading into Zoosk and I'm going to be nice and charming and flirty to everyone and see if I can't get some irons!

DeeDee47 · 19/02/2016 20:12

Thanks born,will try and sort my match settings out.
Well done on drawing a line under Mr 2015,sometimes we have to..
Feel I have to do that with Mr builder,was so smiley when he liked a recent Facebook photo of me last night,but nothing has changed

Re irons..mr smoker/bad speller is messaging me lots and wants to meet for coffee,feel he has been patient with me...should I go?

And Mr logistics,wants a fwb thing with me again,he sounds lovely,I'm very tempted

Good luck to everyone on dates tonight..pjs and tv for me!!

LadyLou30 · 19/02/2016 20:15

Ahhh Born sounds like you've come out the other side of that stronger. Disappointment is a bastard :( MrHr has text me apologising and saying he has been busy. Just makes me want to chase him!! Really still not sure he's interested so I'm going back on POF tonight. God I'm only looking for a shag with someone who isn't a complete dick!!!

MrTaxi been in touch too, feel a bit bad about him. He's a nice guy.

HandyWoman · 19/02/2016 20:18

God I'm only looking for a shag with someone who isn't a complete dick

Amen. Surprisingly difficult it seems!

BornToFolk · 19/02/2016 20:25

God I'm only looking for a shag with someone who isn't a complete dick

Preach it! Tonight, I'd settle for a chat with someone who isn't a complete dick. Zoosk is beyond awful. I was fully prepared to give people a chance but I haven't seen anyone that I'm even vaguely interested in. And they all seem to be really short. Hmm

WavingNotDrowning · 19/02/2016 20:32

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WavingNotDrowning · 19/02/2016 20:36

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WavingNotDrowning · 19/02/2016 20:37

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HandyWoman · 19/02/2016 20:42

Waving I don't think it would come up as 'read' unless you opened the chat?

But who cares what he sees/thinks? For all he knows you may have looked at the message and been far too busy with your incredible life to respond!

In short: listen to your dating guru friend - you know what to do!!!

BornToFolk · 19/02/2016 20:44

Your friend sounds wise Waving. However, if you are free and want to chat to him then why not?

BornToFolk · 19/02/2016 20:46

TURN OFF LAST SEEN AND READ RECEIPTS! Sorry for shouting, but honestly, it's life changing! Grin No one can see when you are online and if you have read messages and vice versa.

DeeDee47 · 19/02/2016 20:54

Waving...date guru is right...
No contact is best..its saying I dont have to put up with your shit...be strong

WavingNotDrowning · 19/02/2016 20:59

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HandyWoman · 19/02/2016 21:03

Good on you Waving Smile

Hope tonight's dates are going well.

BornToFolk · 19/02/2016 21:07

You know what to do then! Smile But honestly, turn off those read receipts and then you can read the messages safe in the knowledge that he won't even know, or know you are online.

Whenisitbedtime · 19/02/2016 21:11

Go Waving! Make him wait.

We all need to remember we are the prize. Hello all.

So after not hearing from Gatwick for two weeks he suddenly got back in touch. I've replied but short quick messages nothing detailed. Not sure if I even like him.

I have a date tomorrow with Curls. I think I am going to like him. I also have another possible iron FM from Okcupid. I'm not doing as well as Gast but I'm trying.

Looking forward to some loo updates from those dating tonight.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 19/02/2016 21:26

Ok loo update...very sweet, not drop dead gorgeous but certainly not hideous. Easy to talk to, lots in common and he's been very complimentary and chivalrous! Lots of laughter, definite potential I think.

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