Roll up, roll up, it's dating thread 96

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches, and take from it what you will

Oh I hope the coffee goes ahead. If it doesn't he's making things worse for himself.

You need to replace MrTall! I was out last night and I was messaging mrcanceller. I was a bit cocky after four gins and tonic. I really shouldn't have called him a passive moaner. I think I can say goodbye to that iron. Shame, it was supposed to be a joke, but I find myself more amusing when I've had a few drinks. I really should not have said that. It is cold after all and perhaps I did co-erce him in to go out which would make me persuasive rather than him passive.

No he didn't! But I don't knwo why I'm trying so hard with this guy!! Now this is why men run for the hills. I do have an idea in my head that I am compatible with this guy. It's based on ONE date. But compared to all of the other people I've dated (ok that's only been about 7 or 8 I think) I believe that this guy and I could rub along very nicely, but only if he lived round the corner. He doesn't. He's too comfy in his lair to come out to meet people / me ! I persuaded him to meet up with me really! I am pushing water uphill. And I shouldn't. WHAT is the point. I should have waited to see if he asked ME out. Now I won't know. Anyway, he does have a good sense of humour, a very good sense of humour but I'm not sure that zoning on somebody's weaknesses is all that funny when you're on the receiving end of it! So I sent a quick email this morning to say that I like all types of food and I did apologise for what I said (but I am not flagellating myself over it either.)

Any news from Soho waving? Definitely chase up MrTall.

314 MrCanceller is really starting to sound like hard work...

Sassy things sound good with Scot.

Vista He may pop up again then but I wouldn't hang your hopes on it. Really good that you have some more potential irons!

So, I spent quite a lot of last night messaging MrEloquent who was on top, filthy, charming form. God, that man is hot!

We kind of skirted around the issue of whether his T&Cs have changed. I strongly suspect not as he said that meeting up would probably be a terrible idea. BUT I really want to meet him, to see if that chemistry is there in real life. And, I have to admit, I kind of hope that if we meet, he'll be so blown away by my wit and good looks that he will fall instantly in love and we'll live happily ever after. Yeah, I know, I know, never going to happen.

I think I will message him later and ask him properly about what his T&Cs are. And see if he was serious about meeting up (there was quite a lot of "god, I want to see you. But we really shouldn't" on both sides) Then I can make a decision with my eyes wide open. And I do feel as though they are. I know that he's not going to be my boyfriend but he could be something. We could have some fun at least. Maybe.

Anyway, whatever happens, I am glad that I got back in touch. Things felt unfinished before, and it's been nice talking to him again.

I hope it goes okay Waving

Thinking of you waving

I hope it all gets sorted out waving and that you finish the coffee date on the same page.

Good luck Waving

OH! We're reaching the end of this thread! I can correct my wine-fuelled typo in the intro text! With no wine in!

Totally waiting for Waving to update. Hope Soho has sorted his daft wee head out.

That sounds positive Waving.

OK, this may be shite advice so am fully prepared to be shouted down...but are you sure getting more irons is a good thing to do right now? I know we all keep saying that it's the best way to keep pressure off the thing with Soho and give you some options but to be honest, you sound really confused about what you want, and what Soho wants and where the relationship is going. Maybe it would be a good idea to just focus on just Soho on the dating front for now and keep yourself busy with other things (work, hobbies, kids, friends etc) More irons might just muddy the water and leave you more confused.

And maybe "focus" is the wrong word re Soho because you need to keep it light and breezy if you can find a way to do that! So I don't mean suddenly get serious about him. I think I mean focus on things other than dating for a bit, and keep Soho ticking away.

Did you get the chance to say that it's not more commitment you want, it's more, well, on Tuesday night, more consideration and consistency!? does he see that he behaved very badly there?

Aww Waving. I think you need to take the pressure off yourself wrt 'reeling him in' and just know that truly This Is How He Is and just see how your feelings are along the way?

Cufflinks never texted back last night, the reasons are pretty obvious ie he spent the night with the woman he went out with. But at 0945h he is asking me if I want to go out tomorrow night. Pretending that he is Into Me when he is actually shagging Christ Knows How Many other women. Yuk and double Yuk. He even talks about just going out and being friends and me sending him on his way whilst telling him to 'clean up his act'. It's all potentially quite a sinister headfuck if I let it be......

I need to ask a friend out tomorrow night and not be available. But after my Best-Friend Bustup I am feeling a bit friendless and vulnerable. I know I'm not really but I don't have enough irons to distract me from him and it's been an awfully quiet week with no kids here (it feels a bit of a waste of a childless week).

Feeling. A bit. Meh.

Great advice from born waving
I've done this,I've really liked someone,then come across as being too needy..ive been told on numerous occasions that I'm trying to hard,and its only when we are happy with ourselves,our lives thats when we will meet that special someone.
I never listen though
I hope waving you really want this and aren't settling for second best

I can see that the 'reel him in' was tongue in cheek. His idea of 'relationship' is 20yr/permanent. He's silly to think that but will it change? We are still in the arena of 'will he change'? I um ultra defensive in emotional terms but I tend to err on the side of 'no he won't change'. And I think that's why it feels heavy....

Ark at me with the relationship advice Hahahaha I'm in the verge of meeting a fricking sex pest!!! Hahahahahaha!!!!!!

Good luck with the sex pest handy😉
Seem to get lots of these,I'm thinking its the questionnaire thing on ok cupid that's drawing them in 😐

Seem to get lots of these,I'm thinking its the questionnaire thing on ok cupid that's drawing them in

I got rid of all the sex related questions on OKC after getting a few dodgy messages.
I actually had a really good idea about this...some of the questions you should be able to mark as "Private" and people can only see them if you allow them to. So, if you are chatting to someone and arranging a date, you can let them see all of your answers, but any randomer does not get to see them. I thought that was so genius I was actually going to suggest it to OKC.

Handy Sorry that you are feeling meh. There is no way of knowing that Cufflinks spent the night with that woman. And giving advice is always easier than taking it...

Yeah Cufflinks shagged her. He is the worlds most articulate and smooth-talking bar steward. He recalls every nuance of all our conversations. And he said just enough to let me know that he did sleep with her. Plus he took a pic of himself on the train last night - he had a rucksack on the seat which kind of gave away what sort of date he was going on he's intelligent but he's no Walter White

As I say - at 0945h he was texting me about Friday night! It's all a very flattering flirtatious game. But it's just about sex to him. He'll seemingly go the ends of the earth to seduce me and make himself sound approachable/noble/upfront/intelligent/a good catch. He would probably 'date' me for six months if he knew he was gonna get some.

He is a dangerous man for me. I haven't responded to his invite. He is asking me 'how's your run' just to keep the convo ticking over. Bastard.

Hmmm, now it sounds as though he wants you to know...

Are you going to see him?

Bastard indeed Handy. So many of them around its scary!

I'm.sorry