Roll up, roll up, it's dating thread 96

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches, and take from it what you will

I never Say never say never re marriage again,I dident loose faith in marriage I lost faith in my husband...
Marriage I still believe when it works can be beautiful
But its the financial side of it that worries me...i have my own home,new man might not,divorce then he gets half??
No way I've worked too hard
Its sad to think like this,but that's how its become

LadyLou I've had so many younger men try to hook up with me! I'm on OK Cupid. Have you tried OKC for a fling?!

Yes okc is full of fling material

Hi all.

I have recently joined the world of online dating after being single for about four years. A friend recommended this thread as a way to get tips and support and after lurking for a few weeks I thought it about time I introduced myself.

I have chatted to a few guys but no dates as yet. There was one promising guy who I was talking to for about a week but he disappeared just as I was plucking up the courage to ask him out for a drink.

I hadn't realised until I started just how time consuming it could be. I have now started limiting myself to half an hour a day.

One question I had though is it best to wait before replying to messages so you don't look to keen?

Welcome Vista

I'm not sure waiting to reply is hugely important tbh, but yes if you want to appear more 'busy' that's fine. But I think if someone wants to be messaging/meeting/shagging you then ultimately they will. Or not. I think there are so many convos that fizzle out that it's no biggie for me.

I get the whole men assuming they know what we want. I dated a guy for 7 months last year and he finished it without warning. We recently talked and he said he ended it because he 'couldn't give me the life he wanted to give me' so he chose not to give me anything And I didn't want anything to change, things were going really well.

Just had a long chat on the phone with MrBH, we're not meeting up for a few weeks because I'm not child free again which I'm glad about in a way because it will allow us to get to know each other better before we meet. He seems really nice and quite funny. We shall see.

I forgot to mention I might have a date with Sparks tomorrow night but he's still fairly halfhearted about it all. Don't know if I'll bother.

Thanks for the welcome Handy I do have a habit of over thinking things.

Overthinking is the whole OLD way of life!!!!!

I overthink therefore I OLD!!!

"I do have a habit of over thinking things" Welcome to the club Vista!

I honestly wouldn't worry about the amount of time left before replying. There are naturally going to be times when you are less available to reply so if you sometimes reply straight away, it's not an issue.

How long has it been since you spoke to MrDisappearer? He might just be busy and pop up again, don't give up hope!

Evening all

Have skimmed thread. Welcome to the newbies!

waving I'm so sorry about last night. I think soho is incredibly mixed up and confused. I think that when he is with you and in the moment he absolutely means what he says. Then he basically freaks out. What can you do about it? Based on how shit he is at communicating with you I'd say nothing unfortunately. You have to make the call on whether you are ok being made to feel this way and make a decision off the back of it.

We all have history and emotional ties/ scars. Some of it is visible in the form of our beautiful DC's, a lot of it is non visible in the form of pain and fear. How we deal with the non visible is extremely personal to each of us. This really isn't about you. It's about him and his demons.

Forget him. Forget his issues. In amongst all of this what do you want? What makes waving happy?

Oh Waving. Time for self care and for saying nothing to Soho. What is there to say?

I wish I were nearer I'd pop round and hang out with you and pour you a and then tuck you in and make you a hot choc and block him on your Whatsapp.

I'm so sorry to those having a shit time. I'm so scared of actually getting close to someone and having all the angst that can bring 😁

So far it's quite fun (agree about it being time consuming! Good job it's half term!). I'm having lots of chats and had my first date last night! Mr virtual sex is still making excuses about meeting up. Why do they put that they want a relationship when they clearly don't?! 😁

gast nice work on the irons!

red you are just so lovely! Keep sharing the love on here!

tanya sorry about the job!

Sorry to everyone else on the thread for not saying hi to everyone, this moves so quickly!
So I'll settle with a to the thread!

I've cooled most of my irons. Not removed but cooled.

scot and I are not anywhere close to a relationship (I'm not ready) but we are messaging and trying to establish what a non-relationship looks like. We have both promised not to ghost one another and try and see where what we have goes. It's incredibly early days so i can't hang up my dating hat. Nor will I DTD with anyone else....so where does this leave me? It's such a tricky zone to be in.

I have a first date with pilot2 on Saturday night. Going into it half hearted but determined to carry on meeting people for the time being.

Jeez. Dating now is just a minefield!

Waving only you can decide that...but wait till you've had a decent night's sleep before pondering it...
I know I'd for and it very hard to walk away from something meaningful albeit not perfect but I can see I am in a minority on the thread....

Oh Sassy sounds like you're in a good place with Scot there, not boring but not making you insecure either. Good on you.

I agree Red it's great to have you reminding us how things can change and love can bite you on the bum when you least expect it.

Waving put Soho out of your mind if you possibly can. Plan to stay up all night if need be watching crappola telly. That's what I do when insomnia strikes. Take the pressure off re sleep.

Glass of maybe?

waving only you can answer that I'm afraid hun.
Sleep on it.

handy oh the insecurity is there. DTD absolutely changes the whole landscape and has made me feel incredibly vulnerable. It's so much more personal if it goes nowhere after sleeping with them. For now we have ground rules of communicating. Let's see where it goes. Feeling like this is not nice but tbh at some point you have to get back out there and hope in the goodness of other people. So long as scot remains honest with me that's all I can ask for right now.

Born a couple of weeks. I decided to get back to is this evening and email a few guys and looks like I have myself a new iron. So feeling much more positive again.

Morning waving, you ok?

Yey vista xx

Morning ladies. Putting this out there for your never ending wisdom and straight talking. Basics

Started talking to a guy online last august. He then disappeared. No problem. He found me on another old site, asked if we could pick up our conversation. No problem. This was in November.
Exchanged numbers, lots of messages. Some flirty some not, eventually met in December for a date. Great time. Saw him a few times over the Christmas holidays. Spent time with his friends. Great time. Back to work. Saw him at the end of January. Both busy with work and kids. He messages every day. Haven't dtd and not had the exclusive conversation but a fair few snogging sessions. He is still on old websites. My question is. He sent me a message last night saying that all he wants is to settle down and have a quiet life and a big emoji thingy. Er what does this mean? I play it fairly cool as I don't want to invest more than I can give but do I sod him off or is this a slow burnt and I can't see it?

Were you to have gone out tomorrow night waving? or tonight?

I know, toosassy, the holy grail, a man who is interesting, but doesn't make you become insecure with his inconsistent illogical behaviour! How good would that be.

Is red still loved up!? ah! I missed her update but I see the comments to that effect! Good that one of us (out of about forty five left behind!) is happy!

callyourselfapilot I'd say ignore the message about him just wanting to settle down. Nobody sane is going to settle down with the wrong person and you're only getting to know him well enough to decide if you want to go out right now! You're entitled to get to know him better before you get in to bed. Are you comfortable with that? sleeping with somebody who's still on those websites?