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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Roll up, roll up, it's dating thread 96

999 replies

MyGastIsFlabbered · 02/02/2016 18:09

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin
  3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens
  5. Trust your gut instinct
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
  8. If it's not fun- stop
  9. Loo update is mandatory
10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches, and take from it what you will
OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
314ty · 17/02/2016 17:30

Yes all you're asking for is a little bit of consistency and respect. That's definitely not too much to ask. YOu don't have to be engaged or moving in together to want a bit of consistency and respect.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 17/02/2016 17:34

Fecking Mr M cancelled tonight ...

His reason was work-related and verifiable, but still. Home alone to a night in with the TV - have Happy Valley to watch.

Still chatting to Mr Video - struggling to find a day we can meet, as he travels with work and I'm unaccountably busy (but not with dates, evidently!). Running Man still on for Saturday. So far ...

Waving hope you find some distracting irons ...

WavingNotDrowning · 17/02/2016 17:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

314ty · 17/02/2016 17:48

Yes. I think a lot of women would be happy with respect, consistency, communication, affection. And the optimism to plan maybe,,,, 8 -12 weeks ahead. I would have settled for that with H. But he bolted because he didn't want to be a step father. but now I know it was for the best.

WavingNotDrowning · 17/02/2016 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

314ty · 17/02/2016 17:55

Oh sorry batshit it's so annoying when that happens.

cattychatty · 17/02/2016 18:08

It's so frustrating when they think they know what we want more than we do. tip to men who maybe reading this ask us don't assume you know!

cattychatty · 17/02/2016 18:09

Sorry meant to add sorry waving you've had a tough day pamper yourself tonight do the things you don't get a chance to without a small child hanging on your leg

314ty · 17/02/2016 18:11

Quote from MakingItReal on the other thread. "I don't expect men to know exactly what they want from me consistently. I don't even know myself. It evolves. I just know that staying with a man who is consistently inconsistent, hot and cold, telling me consistently he does not want a relationship whilst alluding to a phantom future is not being, it's being stupid. There's a massive difference between "seeing how it goes", which is normal and feeling all the time like you don't know if your boyfriend likes you that much. You're never supposed to feel like that

If that could be put more succinctly to Soho, I think nobody could say you were unreasonable waving. Well, nobody on this thread anyway!

DeeDee47 · 17/02/2016 18:22

Sorry about your cancellation batshit

Waving...be kind to yourself,you've been let down
Remember feeling the same after Mr builder,very used
But I think the answer is more irons,even though I haven't got any....yetSmile

MyGastIsFlabbered · 17/02/2016 18:30

Blimey so much has happened since I was last on, anyone care to summarise for me?

I've been collecting irons, MrHappn was supposed to be seeing me last night but he's ill, but says he's definitely postponing not cancelling.

I did have a date with a 25 year old tonight but I've made an excuse after he made it clear he just wanted sex and would be pushing for it the minute I arrived...I mean I know he was after sex but at first he promised to wine and dine and spoil me first, but that soon changed.

MrBH is a new iron, didn't immediately go phwoar at his picture but he seems really nice...so far!

Spanky is another new iron from last night, good looking, seems to have a brain. Admitted to being into spanking but I quickly said it wasn't my thing and we got chatting and he hasn't mentioned it again.

Was chatting with Snake last night too but he's gone quiet again so not holding my breath.

London and I are chatting, he reckons he's ill, I just think he's not that interested.

Pier apologised for not being in touch, he's in Scotland for the week so will see if he bothers to get in touch when he gets back.

No word from MrCS, no surprise there sadly.

And I've got a stalker, we were chatting and he seemed nice enough but now he's just inundating me with messages and I wish he'd just back off.

I have a cocktail date with J1 on Friday night.

I've got a vague date for tapas and cocktails with a 27 year old but because of conflicting schedules we haven't actually got a date sorted yet...watch this space.

Think that's it for now!

OP posts:
BornToFolk · 17/02/2016 18:44

Hey, gast! Lots of irons on the go there. Grin

waving please be kind to yourself. Have you got a good book, or a film that you can distract yourself with tonight? Then an early night? The answer probably is more irons but maybe tonight isn't the night to do it.

Batshit sorry about your cancellation.

That quote from the other thread makes a lot of sense. Do you think a lot of men get scared off cos they think we are after a full on relationship/domestic bliss, immediately, whereas by and large we're just happy to pootle along and see how things go, as long as there is respect and communication on both sides?

I fully admit..ideally what I am after is a LTR. I'd love to meet someone that would move in eventually, be a proper partner (possibly even husband, though I've never been that into marriage) but I don't look at every guy I meet thinking "are you going to move in someday?" I'm happy just to go on dates, see what develops. 314 hit the nail on the head with "respect, consistency, communication, affection"

DeeDee47 · 17/02/2016 18:50

Gast....i love your updates
Fab!!!
I had a date with a 24 year old last year,he was useless,and kept complaining how tired he was,wouldent go young again,....so regret it!

314ty · 17/02/2016 18:53

Yes, I'm the same Born to folk. I want a ltr but not with some mediocre consistently inconsistent man who blows hot and cold. A man would have to EARN being my long term partner. It wouldn't be just, oh, please be my long term bf. And as for marriage, I can't imagine trusting any man enough. I own this house. I've already lost one home. The financial insecurity was a nightmare. I just can't imagine being so blinded by love that I get married. I did tell that to MrTeacher a few years ago. I didn't meet him on the internet, he was a FOAF and he commenced our very nice first date with "I'm not getting married again". It makes me laugh now.

314ty · 17/02/2016 18:59

Luckily I'm out tonight which will take MY mind off dating, and MrCanceller. Not in the slightest bit worried about DelBald. But I do hope he doesn't cancel or i'll have two mr cancellers. 1&2?

314ty · 17/02/2016 19:00

Gast you've got so many irons in the fire there's no room for coal!

WavingNotDrowning · 17/02/2016 19:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 17/02/2016 19:42

i don't ever want to get married again, and can't really see myself living with anyone.

Me neither. If I really like him, perhaps he could live next door. Or in the same street ...

Mr M has sent a lovely message, and seems really keen to meet Hmm He gets on more chance

BatshitCrazyWoman · 17/02/2016 19:42

*one

BatshitCrazyWoman · 17/02/2016 19:50

Changing the subject, what happened to Scandal - I was watching the new series, but it stopped abruptly a couple of weeks ago?

HandyWoman · 17/02/2016 19:53

I think you already have your answer, waving the answer is he is going to treat you like - this.

But on 2hrs sleep and a hangover I think Netflicks and Ben&Jerrys is where you should focus your energy. Hug and Cake and Chocolate from me.

Cufflinks has been trying really really hard with me today while I've been at work. And making me laugh. He is out on a date tonight.

Home alone tonight. I really miss my kids!! When I got through the door I started to speak to the dog to keep my self company - the dog is also not here! Gonna put my feet up, watch telly and wait for Cufflinks to start flirting and starting some sexting after his date read a book.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 17/02/2016 19:54

MrM has rearranged for Monday ...

SoThatHappened · 17/02/2016 20:00

Tinder is shit. Been talking to some nice guys, but no dates.

What is everyone using these days, dating site wise?

LadyLou30 · 17/02/2016 20:07

Good evening ladies, just catching up. Waving have a nice bath tonight, a hot drink and get an early night sweetie. Gast you are hilarious :) Batshit one more chance, cancellations can be genuine. I was cancelled on on saturday and i'm still hoping we'll see each other again. I'd be interested in younger for a fling. Do worry about my body tho, late thirties, 2 kids and i've lost 7 stone this past year - it ain't bonnie out of clothes!!! I've not text MrTaxi today - he really was lovely and quite good looking but just not for me at all,not even sure i could just sleep with him. MrHR texts me back quickly if i text him and he only seems to be on whatsapp to text me. I really would like to see him again just to see how i feel. We've had one lunch date and he is not really my type at all but something is drawing me to him!!
There is my Ex Husband aswell who i am not long seperated from who desperately wants to get back together so i'm feeling a little guilty for looking for attention from other men. I'm in no way looking for a relationship - if i wanted that i'd still be with my husband. Looking for a bit of a fling and don't seem to be able to even be any good at getting that!! Both guys i've met want relationships!!!

RedMapleLeaf · 17/02/2016 20:07

i don't ever want to get married again, and can't really see myself living with anyone.

I was thinking exactly the same only a couple of months ago. I looked around my beautiful, familiar home and couldn't imagine a strange man intruding on my sanctuary. I couldn't fathom out the logistics of my belongings and a new house and new relationship.
And then a couple of weeks after getting together with MrF I looked around with new eyes and thought, "it's just Stuff. I would leave it all behind to see where this new relationship might go".