I want to believe him

[icklekid]

So yesterday eve I got a very odd text from dh

"Hi babe what flat do I need to buzz? X"

I rang dh immediately and said I was confused about the text he just sent he said he hadn't sent a text and was driving home not far away. I said fine and he said is everything OK? I just told him would talk about it when he got back.

I have 18 month ds and am very early stages of second pregnancy. At the moment I'm struggling to keep any food down and crippled by exhaustion so 2 days of looking after ds (work part time) have been very tough. Anyway I bath ds and get him ready for bed. Dh comes home doesn't say anything about it and puts ds to bed.

I go downstairs and wait for dh -when he comes in I show him the text and say that I don't understand. He says I can see how that would upset you but I promise it wasn't me who sent it. I'm in tears saying that I don't understand how it can't be him!! He has been late back from work every night this week but work is also hell for him at the moment and he's commuting long distances.

Help I don't want to believe he's cheating and he says he would never risk what we have but what other option is there?

Just realised also OP, if he didn't know which flat to buzz then he hasn't been there before. Which means that either it's the first time he's been to someone's own home OR he is paying someone. Therefore location services on his phone might not be so helpful.

How awful to get that text. I'm afraid I wouldn't believe him either:( I can see you want to though, which is understandable.

I hope you have a gentle weekend planned, and you can have a look at his phone. However if it's an iPhone and instant messaging it won't come up on the bill will it? If it's deleted it will have gone, and any previous?

He sent it , u just need to figure out why he's lying.
If it was innocent he'd have an explanation not that pile of rubbish he told u x

From bitter experience, that sounds like a text to a prostitute.
I've seen the messages between my XH and the prostitutes he booked and they use a lot of "babe" and "hun", so it would not be odd for him to mirror that.

He'll keep blocking you and denying it, must have been a mistake, doesn't understand it...

Make him call his phone company in front of you and ask them how it could have happened. Make the fucker squirm.

Also check his car sat nav / google maps on phone. You may find he has used that to go to prostitute addresses.

Look up who is next to your name in his phone book...and call them.

Also likely to be last number texted, possibly not even saved.

If it was me, and my DP had received that message from my phone but I hadn't actually sent it, then I would be doing everything in my power to find out what had happened. I'd be ringing up the phone company whilst he was with me and getting them to give an explanation. I would just brush it off.

I really, really hope that he is innocent and this has been a big misunderstanding though

It's incriminating. Sorry. You need to find out more.

If he's not far from home and doesn't know the flat I wonder if he's visiting prostitutes or on some kind of hook up site.

I don't believe he didn't send it. If he didn't show you his phone straight away, anything incriminating will be gone. I'd demand to see an itemised bill and I'd want to be in the room when he got it.

Either that or a new relationship.

You may be able to get an itimised bill online.

You may be inclined to ignore/believe but there are more important things to consider. If (and it seems very likely) he's unfaithful your sexual health is at risk. Add that to your pregnancy and it's a big risk he's taking with your and your child's health.

Of course he sent it.

Sorry to say this but of course he sent it. I think an explanation could be that OW is also married and they are using a friend's flat. What are you going to do?

On two separate occasions I got odd texts from boyfriend's phone. Questioned him when we were together and the texts were completely out of sync. They were from him but sent days in advance. The texts were showing on each phone but in very different orders. Could be that?

I can't imagine him sending it a day or two sooner is going to change the situation much.

Unless it relates to an earlier conversation between the two which the OP might not recall at the moment

I've also had odd timing of messages - but ALWAYS to the real recipient.

Doubt OP would have just forgotten this convo

Unless it relates to an earlier conversation between the two which the OP might not recall at the moment

Yeah, perhaps it was for the OP's new flat that he hadn't been to before. Tho - surely she would remember having another flat?

I'm afraid I think he absolutely sent that texts and the evidence suggests he's visiting prostitues. Phones do not send messages by themselves.

He has been late back from work every night this week

That old chestnut.

Sorry OP - but he has been caught out.

You need more info or to look at an itemised bill. As to whether your DH will cooperate or not I'm not sure.

Doreen yeah it does sadly sound like a line he's fed OP...

And sad to say phones don't just send messages like that (I've had delayed received messages but not with the wrong text and I've had messages from some other number but not wrong words).

My mum had this last year with my stepdad (dodgy text when she was away) really fishy, I think he was having an affair but she's forgiven him and the OW appears to have gone away. Same as OPs text or more or less the same. Always fishy.

I had a text from Dh once from a work party essentially saying 'what a load of boring bastards' and then a panicky text an hour later asking if I'd got it because on his phone it was showing as sent to A N Other work colleague/boring bastard.

I did have it but our phones were showing completely different info.

But it's a. looking at his phone and b. knowing him that is going to solve this one for you surely?

Delivering something for the OP? Impossible I guess. I forgot that ltb is only response accepted.

Good luck OP.