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Original poster

Step inside the dating thread, 95

999 replies

MissPiggySeeksFrogwithGSOH · 19/01/2016 09:44

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin
  3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens
  5. Trust your gut instinct
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
  8. If it's not fun- stop
  9. Loo update is mandatory
10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches, and take from it what you will
OP posts:
HandyWoman · 31/01/2016 13:17

sunflower ooh exciting!!! You going for drinks??

Yeah Bat no need to reply unless you feel the need.

sunflowerblue · 31/01/2016 13:20

We're going to meet at a pub halfway at 5.30 for food and drinks.

I wouldn't normally do more than drinks on a first date, but i feel pretty confident we'll have enough to talk about. His first date for 15 years, so I'm feeling the pressure a little! A friend pointed out he has nothing to compare it to then, so no pressure at all.

HandyWoman · 31/01/2016 13:21

314 that's no mooseburger you delivered there Smile hooray and yey that sounds like a great evening/night/morning.

red is still on her date I think Wink

BornToFolk · 31/01/2016 13:43

Thanks Bat I have nothing against FWB situations by the way, I just know I would get too emotionally involved. I have considered it with a guy I met on Tinder who lives too far away for a relationship to be viable but we got on well, in a very friendly way, and had some fun sexting. He travels a lot so if he's ever near me we might meet up. But it would not work with MrEloquent.

With regards messages, I usually ignore the crap ones. If someone writes a really good personal message I might reply to say not interested but thanks for the message as I think that people making the effort should be encouraged Grin Persistent people get blocked, offensive ones (only had 1 actually) get reported.

314 I just got your username! Grin Glad you had such a good night. Sounds like things are going well...

sunflower hi and good luck with the date later.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 31/01/2016 13:53

Good luck sunflower

Thanks for the advice, I am ignoring them. Some of the messages are very odd/brief, rather than offensive ('hey beautiful lady' from a bloke in Sweden and another one setting out a weird scenario involving his grown up son kissing me passionately - I did block that last one!).

Have agreed to meet up with Running Man when he is back from his business trip nervous

SoThatHappened · 31/01/2016 13:56

Decided to join tinder.

Someone supermatched me.....a married man looking for "friends" with his wife's knowledge and approval.

Why am I even bothering.

sunflowerblue · 31/01/2016 14:00

Had a little readthrough now.
folk please don't contact him. With all that context you've given, if he did reply back then you've just given him permission to treat you really badly. It's horrible being left with that unfinished feeling, but try and just distract yourself for now til it goes away.
314 a big step, I would be feeling like you. Hope you hear from him soon and put your mind at rest.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 31/01/2016 14:06

That should say (am nervous) !!

SoThatHappened · 31/01/2016 14:18

I left it a few days, then sent him a message saying that I really liked him, that we connected in a way that's very rare and when he was ready for a relationship, if he wanted to get in contact, I would like that.

Folk in what way did you connect that's very rare? With the sexting etc?

HandyWoman · 31/01/2016 14:23

sunflower that unfinished feeling That's it exactly!!!

So hard not to scratch the itch.

But when they say they aren't ready for a relationship - They aren't. Even if they are perfectly capable of doing it.

DeeDee47 · 31/01/2016 15:09

Folk,this is exactly my story,we emailed,sexted for 10 months,we met and it was just as amazing as i knew it would be,but he doesent want any more,he will answer my texts,but doesent want to give me any false hopes,feel I've lost him as a friend now,so in my heart we shouldn't of met,and it should of stayed a fantasy.
Hope everyone is ok I'm very hungover today!!such a waste of day!

RedMapleLeaf · 31/01/2016 15:33

I wouldn't contact again folk.

Had a great evening, night, morning etc with MrF and spent today with friends. He's due back this evening. I am blissed out.

BornToFolk · 31/01/2016 15:37

Yeah, it was partly the sexting. It was the first time I had done anything like that and I felt totally comfortable about it. Still do, no regrets.

But it was more than that. We just clicked, immediately. Similar interests and sense of humour. The kind of person that I could imagine talking to easily for hours. And he seemed really into me, said loads of nice things about me. And I know, it's easy to pay compliments and say anything by text but he could have met me and had an easy shag but he's the one that called that off. And I asked to talk to him when he called the "date" off and he called me and we chatted and he sounded lovely. I think he is a genuine bloke, high sex drive, just out of a long term relationship and looking for...something but not quite sure what. Probably a confidence boost. But he backed off when it looked like I might get hurt.

So I really don't think he would treat me badly. I think the worst that would happen would that he didn't reply but I'd be no worse off than I am now. But that would hurt so I need to be OK with not getting a response, and I wouldn't be today, so am sitting on my hands.

Dee I am quite glad that we never met. I was kidding myself that I could do a casual shag with him and that would be it but I really wouldn't have been able to.

I am actually pissing myself off now. After Mr2015 and then MrEloquent, I kept saying that all I wanted was a nice, decent, normal bloke that actually wanted a relationship and then Birdman came along who is exactly that and I don't want him as it's not as exciting as the intense but ultimately doomed things I had with them. I'm acting like a stupid teenager, not middle aged woman!

Lacoba66 · 31/01/2016 15:41

Sneaking back in Blush. at everyone...

I think I should have been applying more of the 'rules' to Mr Diamond Sad.

We've had fantastic dates and spent virtually all of this weekend together. He's a really nice guy, but I'm gonna have to back off from him.

He dropped a bombshell yesterday, which was that when he reached 50 ( last year) he'd given up on the idea of ever having kids, but since we've been dating he says that he's feeling confused, as he really likes me, but realises that it would mean he definatley wouldn't be having children and that he's not sure what to think about that. Well I'm fast approaching 50, so it's a no goer for me.

I did point out that maybe he should have added an age max on his OLD profile.

So like I said, I'm gonna cool things, as I don't want to get any more invested in someone who isn't 'sure'.

He has been honest with me, so I guess that's something Sad.

SoThatHappened · 31/01/2016 18:58

Folk I had all that with a guy and I'd never really sexted before either.

We dated for a bit then he was on and off with me for a bit.

We too had great humour, could talk for hours, etc. But you know I found out he was seeing others and was back with an ex at one point.

Then he ended our thing for a gf admitting he was using me.

Folk have you seen the number of threads on here where women find their partners sexting others? Exactly. You never even met him....I would put money on the fact that he turned down meeting you for sex as he actually has a gf. The sexting was a nice way to do it by remote without his partner finding out.

BornToFolk · 31/01/2016 19:13

I really don't think it was like that. I know that comes across as naive and maybe it is but he really did seem very genuine. I could be wrong, of couse...exP cheated on me and I had no fucking clue so I do have form for this...Sad I dunno, everything he said just had the ring of truth about it....

Welcome back lacoba! And sorry about Mr Diamond. But I don't think that all the rules in the world are going to stop someone changing his mind Sad so please don't think it was anything you did or didn't do.

SoThatHappened · 31/01/2016 19:26

I really don't think it was like that. I know that comes across as naive and maybe it is but he really did seem very genuine.

Folk I'd bet my life savings that it was. Mine seemed genuine too. He was hot cold with me and I found out it was because he was seeing someone, back with an ex. The reason why the sexting and meeting was on and off was guilt and he cancelled frequently as he could not get away.

You know what I do now? If I have their real name and know roughly where they live, I go to website called Free electoral roll search and I will be able to find out their full address. Then I put their name and full address into 192.com which will tell me the dates they are on the electoral roll at their address and the names and dates of anyone else living there with them. It has been enlightening....try it.

314Chart · 31/01/2016 19:35

soThatHappened I think if somebody makes you suspicious because what they say doesn't stack up, or what they do doesn't make sense, then it's ok to play detective.

SoThatHappened · 31/01/2016 19:45

soThatHappened I think if somebody makes you suspicious because what they say doesn't stack up, or what they do doesn't make sense, then it's ok to play detective.

yeah exactly. I suspected someone I was dating once. I found his ex gfs name off the electoral roll as a co-occupant buy searching his address.....got him. Checked her out on facebook, pics of them currently together again.

BornToFolk · 31/01/2016 19:49

If I could, I would, believe me! But I only know his first time, the town he lives in and what he does for a living. He's never come up on my FB People You May Know. So, I can't find him and if I never hear from him again, then I'll never know but I'm going to stick with my version of events, because I prefer it! Grin

But good tip about the free electoral roll search, thank you. I will definitely use it if I have future suspicions about anyone.

Scarftown · 31/01/2016 19:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoThatHappened · 31/01/2016 20:01

If I could, I would, believe me! But I only know his first time, the town he lives in and what he does for a living.

Folk but you thought you had a special connection? And you were ok to sext an utter stranger like that without evening knowing his last name. I hope you didnt exchange pictures.

I sexted a guy quite frequently but although not exclusive, I had been to his home on numerous occasions and knew alot about him.

314Chart · 31/01/2016 20:01

Wow, a fake fb profile?! How did you know it was fake? Imagine being so determined to cover your arse from your own lies that you set up a fake profile to support your pre-meditated lies!

WOW Shock

BornToFolk · 31/01/2016 20:09

Fucking hell, SoThat, thanks for the judging Hmm. I think I'm finished talking to you about this, to be honest. I really don't need to justify my actions to you, or anyone.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 31/01/2016 20:13

I've exchanged photos with people I don't know the surnames of, but my face is never in them.

I thought I felt a special connection to Teach but he turned out to be a cad, it happens. I don't know his surname or address either. He has got a FB profile but it depresses me to look at it. I think sometimes loneliness can make feelings there that aren't really. I'm only talking about myself here, not anyone else.