Step inside the dating thread, 95

[MissPiggySeeksFrogwithGSOH]

We don't have get through these at speed....

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches, and take from it what you will

Ok. Ladies I need opinions.

Was messaging one of the dates I am seeing thurs. I told him I needed to go yesterday evening as I needed to prepare some numbers.

He pinged back this morning asking if I got it all done.

I replied yup.

He replied 'were these work numbers or are you deciding if you can feed your kids'.

I am a little . Now to be fair we are bantering a fair bit but wtf? Does anyone else think that comment is a little off?
I will be pulling it up on him and calling the date off potentially. My reaction will depend a little on what you all think.

*pulling him up on it I should say.

Ok. I pulled him up on it nicely. But firmly.

Got a hugely apologetic note back saying he absolutely meant nothing by it and he totally knows I would put my kids first. He even thanked me for giving him the chance to clear the air.

Have to admit the latter had me . Date is firmly still in diary.

that's a good sign that his instinct wasn't to go on the defensive. He accepted that he'd said something risky that you didn't find funny and he apologised. I'd read in to that that he has a self-esteem rather than an ego. But ........ meet him first

Nicely handled custard.

Just checking in!

Hope the dates today go well ladies!

waving I would wait a bit and then send a breezy message maybe with 'etc' at the end of it

Bloody men

Perhaps I should just stop playing the games and message when I want.

Definitely.

Unless you want to text every hour.

He's messaged you while on holiday... That's pretty big if you ask me!

So, I've not been in contact with London since 12 ish. I've got withdrawal. Help!

Good luck on tonights dates!

Waving, I'd text him on your way out the door with your friends. I'm like you. I become insecure when the possibility that something might develop is there. If it's a disastrously awful date, I take it on the chin. If he's not interested, I take it on the chin. I'm I'm not interested, I back away with as much dignity as I can. But if there is a mutual attraction I lose all equilibrium. Hence, the need for Jillian Michaels! I'm a navy seal, mentally, if not physically thanks to JM. She's got me through extreme poverty, living at my parents,failing driving tests, living in a freezing cold rented hovel, moving back in to my parents', two court cases, a house purchase falling through, then successfully buy a house [yay!], job interviews, job, tedium, bratty children, and now............. the biggie, internet dating. Jillian and this thread. And wine.

I'm out with H this evening which is maybe why I feel ok, cos there's nothing to second guess this afternoon. Tomorrow I might be left feeling again.

I think that this vulnerability is a natural and healthy reaction at this stage of a (potential) relationship. I think that the trick is to acknowledge it and not expect anyone else but you to be responsible for dealing with it.

It's something I'm working with at the moment

yes, me too, in the past, there's been either no real love (I've settled for people knowing that if it finishes I won't be devastated, so there's no real risk) or they're unavailable. I don't mean married. I mean, they've given me the I don't want a relationship speech.

I haven't got fancy underwear! I'm always shocked at the price of it. I'm going for matching black balconette and black seam free knickers that are quite presentable tonight. They may not be seen. I don't feel like sex is on the cards tonight though. I reckon we're going to have a talk first. His terms. He might say something I don't want to hear. And then leave it up to me whether I want to accept that crumb or not. Anyway, I'm not stumping up for fancy underwear yet I do like the stella mcCartney sets though, so beautiful. I used to wear flesh coloured underwear for years! I only just stopped. That's how sexy I was. I kondoed that shit. I'm all about the facade! (can't do cedilla). I'll get ready soon. H coming at 8. Not that I need two hours to shower and put on make up.

I'm getting ready to see MrF and having to slow down, getting ready far too fast. Should have done some housework.

(My underwear situation is: brand new, matching-but-not-sexy, and not expected to be seen by anyone but me tonight)

Place marking! I'm still here, just not much to report as I've gone down a notch on the search for love for a little while. Still here though

Handy good luck with FWB date!
sassy well done for pulling him up on that comment, but he sounds like he responded reasonably and apologised. Hopefully he will in person too on the date.
waving I too would be a bit at the 'etc'....I can be a bit ultra sensitive but I'd take it as a fob off, like a 'blah blah', but perhaps he's just trying to play it 'cool', he may be missing you and doesn't want to come off too keen. So don't look into it too much, and he is thinking of you while on hols - however a sarky 'etc' back at some stage wouldn't go a miss though
314 good luck with H tonight!!
red good luck tonight too!!
Ps you two - apparently, If you wear matching underwear, they will know you were planning to sleep with them, non matching shows you got caught up in the moment - so I've been told by a guy anyway.
Looking forward to loo update from all daters tonight!
eloquent I have often wondered the same about no dating the thread ...anyone any the wiser?

Bought a new book today - 'data a love story'. Anyone here like statistics and numbers? Amy Webb did this Ted talk which is funny and interesting, worth a watch if you have 20 mins. The book is, well a book version.

Good luck everyone and sorry if I've missed anyone on dates tonight....oh and where is tanya?

I always wear matching underwear, I pay a lot for it as i have big boobs, and lingerie is kinda my shoes, and i wouldn't wear odd shoes!
Haha.

The 'etc' could have been intended as a "wink wink"?

Ps you two - apparently, If you wear matching underwear, they will know you were planning to sleep with them

God, I hope so.

Ha ha Red!!
Eloquent one day I will wear matching underwear everyday - been saying that to myself since I was 25....not happened yet and I'm 42 . I'm big chested too so always have good bras....just only a few have the matching knickers - they are so £££!

Hi new to dating after marriage of 12 years coming to an end nearly 2 years ago, thought is drop by for some fellow daters advice.

I've been seeing someone on and off for about a year. I work with him and it's never really ever got going. He's messages me suggesting he's bothering me and he's going to back off. I'm quite happy about this as don't think either if us have been making enough if an effort and therefore don't care enough.

But I don't know how to word a reply basically saying he's not bothering me but I'm not interested. Without being rude as still have to work together and he's a very nice guy, just not for me.

Thanks

Why don't you just put it out there but tell him you're not interested? Even make something up about how you've been thinking and you're not sure it's professional to date as you work together.

waving just Respond with a breezy message maybe he wasn't sure to say and he is on holiday.

I'd personally ignore Mr Actor.

toosassy personally I'd let him know you're irritated by the comment but don't make a big thing of it. At least he knows next time where you draw the line but if it was banter then it was just him trying to be funny.

Custard, well done for pulling your friend up on what he said. I absolutely hate double standards like that, and calling women 'slutty'.

I was on this thread ages ago under a different name, and from what I remember 'No dating the thread' means that no one on the thread should date each other. At the time there were a few male posters, and I think the concerns were that a) men could join the thread in the hope of trying to date the women on here and b) it would be very hard to use this thread to discuss someone we were dating if they were also on this thread!

Hey Prizey, am still lurking, just been so very poorly since Friday, and got some sad news yesterday, so not really been able to contribute. Hoping to be back on form later in the week! :)