Overheard Sil talking about me, devastated

[cocochanel21]

This is my first time posting I really need some advice. Background I've been with my DH for 10 yrs married for 6. We both had DCS from previous relationships as we both were teenagers when we had DCS having a child together was never on the cards we were both happy with our lives.
Last year I fell pregnant, we were shocked after much soul searching and tears (me) We decided to continue with the pregnancy.
When I was 7 mths pregnant my DD1died suddenly i was devastated and the last 2mths of my pregnancy were horrendous i felt completely numb and just wanted to be with my DD.
My gorgeous DD2 arrived 5weeks ago i fell in love with her the minute i set eyes on her. I'm still Greiving and have bad days but I'm trying to get on with things.
Yesterday my 2Sils and a friend came for lunch i was upstairs feeding the baby when I came down they were in the kitchen talking about me and DD1. SIL was saying that i looked terrible and she didn't understand as DD had been a total nightmare and she was glad her brother didn't need to put up with all the trouble she had caused anymore. The other 2 never pulled her up.
I somehow managed to get through lunch then made excuses to get rid of them. I spent the rest of the day in tears and I've spent today wanting to go to her door and tell her I heard what she said.
I miss my DD1 so much and don't understand why somebody can be so cruel.I feel such a failure as a mum and my gorgeous LO is stuck with me.

I can't believe you carried on with the lunch.

You need to tell her you heard what she said and hear what she has to say.

sorry, I should have read the thread.

Your DH has absolutely done the right thing! My husband would have done the same.
Nasty horrible foul mouthed cow you don't need her in your life or as part of your family, fuck her and her disgusting opinions

I've watched this thread from the start. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm very impressed with your dignity, and that you could hold it together to finish the lunch: I couldn't have.

I'm glad your Evil SIL didn't try to deny what she had said - it's made it a very easy decision to go NC. As for the other 2, maybe they didn't want to challenge Voldemorticia when she was going on, incase a row broke out, which you may have been more likely to overhear? I'm glad you and your lovely DH have been firm with them, maybe in time you could meet up with them separately to see if there's anything left worth repairing?

In the meantime, hugs to you and I hope your lovely new DD brings you much joy. Sounds like she was sent for a reason :)

Thank you all for all the lovely comments. I would like to say I'm doing okay but the truth is I'm a total mess what I overheard has taken me back to that dark place of the early days.
At the time everybody encouraged me to think of the baby and get to the end of my pregnancy. I stupidity though I could deal with my grief after the baby was born (who was i kidding)
I'm going to look into bereavement counselling because I know I've hidden a lot away regarding my DD death and throw a newborn into the mix doesn't help.
My silent sil has texted me several times she wanted to come round. I've told her I'm not ready to speak yet which she understood I hope in time i can meet up with her i believe she is genuinely sorry about what has happened.

Yes bereavement counselling is a good idea.

You must feel sick to your stomach at the callousness of this.

Are you getting lots of help with baby?

You are experiencing the worst grief anyone can know-the loss of your child.
I think it would be good to look into bereavement counselling.

What your SIL did was really cruel and awful.

The other two sound as if they may be genuinely sorry for not speaking up. I think you are right to give yourself space from them but maybe in the longer term they might be a source of support and friendship.
I think that you are right to say that you are too upset to speak at present and that they need to give you time.
Take as much time as you need-they were in the wrong.

I agree with PPs about the others not speaking up because they were either stunned or thinking if a row broke out then you would definitely find out about the verbal anthrax that spewed out of her despicable mouth. And I also agree that people should know the truth about what happened because you have enough to deal with and don't need her lying to cover her own back plus she deserves everyone to know what a truly evil cunt she is

Oh coco that is one of the most horrible thing I've ever heard of anyone saying (what your SiL said)

I'm so glad you told your DH and that he fought your corner so magnificently.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain that losing a child must cause. I think your plan for grief counselling sounds good and I hope it helps you

What's silent SIL's relationship like with voldemorticia? Can you trust her in time not to open up the can of worms again? I hope so xx

So sorry xxx