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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

i don't know if i can talk about it here?

541 replies

panele01 · 31/12/2015 21:05

hello everyone,
i am new here and i don't know,i am not sure if i can talk about it here? i am 20 weeks and 4 days pregnant
,but i am having problems in my life right now,difficulties,complications SadConfused

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 31/12/2015 22:32

Hopefully more people will see now.

Happy new year to you as well, I hope 2016 brings you peace - and a beautiful baby. Are you in the UK? Just asking as it's not quite midnight here yet.

Original poster
panele01 · 31/12/2015 22:38

Ok,i hope so too,i am so scared,i am really worried what its gonna be like giving a birth to a first baby,i don't even know yet if its a boy or a girl yet,but i will find out eventually hmmmm

OP posts:
Original poster
panele01 · 31/12/2015 22:38

I live in London now ThanksCakeBiscuitWinehow about you dear? i am so sorry for asking dear

OP posts:
Offred · 31/12/2015 22:40

Glad you're here panele. Flowers

You can talk about anything you need to on here.

What happened with your mum this week?

Muddlewitch · 31/12/2015 22:40

Happy New Year Panele Flowers Cake

How is your relationship with your midwife and/or doctor? Do you think you could talk to either of them so that they could help you get some support?

How are you feeling in yourself, with the pregnancy? I was very tired during mine.

BertieBotts · 31/12/2015 22:45

Happy new year! Are you registered for any classes? Even just the free hospital ones are good. I found them really reassuring and it was nice to meet other mums to be. Good to have a support network around you.

RJnomore1 · 31/12/2015 22:46

I'm in Scotland panele.

Do you have someone around you that you trust? Some support?

UterusUterusGhali · 31/12/2015 22:49

Do you have any other family or friends nearby?

Does your mother know what happened to you? Were you close before?

Original poster
panele01 · 31/12/2015 22:49

Shock wowwwwww so many questions,ok,the truth is,i don't have my own midwife yet,but i am registered with the GP and i feel good talking to her/him,thank you so much by the wayThanksCakeWineBiscuit

OP posts:
Original poster
panele01 · 31/12/2015 22:50

No,i don't have any family members near me SadSadSadSadSadSadSadSadSad Just people in my area who i know

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 31/12/2015 22:51

People will ask lots of questions on here, they're interested and want to make sure you're ok, but you don't need to answer if you don't want to.

Saying that here's one more - if you don't have a midwife yet are you getting medical attention for your pregnancy?

Offred · 31/12/2015 22:52

My honest opinion is that you need to try and surround yourself with supportive people whether that is friends or healthcare professionals etc.

If your mum is not being absolutely supportive to you at the moment then you don't need her in your life.

Original poster
panele01 · 31/12/2015 22:54

I am not registered for any classes yet,i am so sorry,i am not thinking about doing it yet,i have some serious other things to sort out for my baby's birth,future first,if this baby will be born,he/she will need a roof above hos/her head,clothes ect and those things cost money,but since i am suffering from sexual assault trauma,i should be more concerned about my well being

OP posts:
Offred · 31/12/2015 22:54

If you have just moved to a new area then talking to the GP is the best plan really.

Have you mentioned the memory problems, the sexual assault trauma and the fact he is the baby's dad?

Original poster
panele01 · 31/12/2015 22:56

Offred,you are completely right ThanksCake

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 31/12/2015 22:56

Don't apologise lovely. You've done nothing to be sorry for. Don't worry about classes too they're not all that but you do need your midwife checks to make sure you and baby are both doing ok.

Fairenuff · 31/12/2015 22:56

You should register with a midwife as soon as possible. They will be able to help you.

Original poster
panele01 · 31/12/2015 22:58

Hmmmmm.......medical attention? you asked dear,seriously yes,i do contact my GP when its needed,when i have a problem,a pain ect

OP posts:
Original poster
panele01 · 31/12/2015 22:59

Ok dear,i will try to do it,thank you so much ThanksCakeBiscuit

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 31/12/2015 23:01

Yes I mean more ongoing checks, a midwife will get you in for regular appointments, check baby is growing ok, your blood pressure, answer any questions etc. Have you had any scans?

Original poster
panele01 · 31/12/2015 23:02

Offred,i didn't really understand your question in this sentence,i am sorry,mentioned,to whom? who?

OP posts:
Original poster
panele01 · 31/12/2015 23:05

ok,i see,i had an early scan and after that i didn't have any yet,my early scan was when i found out for the first time how long far ahead i was pregnant then,that was 16 weeks and 4 days if i remember it correctly SadSadSadSadSadSadSadSadSadSadSadSadSadSad Oh dear,i am a horrible mother,am i?

OP posts:
GarlicCake · 31/12/2015 23:06

You say you have a GP and you can talk to him. That's good. Your GP should refer you to a midwife and they will arrange scans and checkups for you.

As you feel comfortable with your GP, also tell him about the trauma and its effects on you (the memory loss is one, there will be others.) It's not so easy to get help these days and, as you're a first-time pregnancy, your chances of accessing really good support now are better.

Don't worry about the baby's dad, he sounds like an incidental. You can sort that out later, if needs be.

Are you living with your mother?

Sorry for yet another question - and happy new year!

GarlicCake · 31/12/2015 23:09

How can you be a horrible mother? You're already keeping your baby warm and fed Grin

16 week scan is good. I can't remember when the next one should be. There's lots of info on here. www.mumsnet.com/pregnancy

MiscellaneousAssortment · 31/12/2015 23:13

Oh dear, I hope the new year brings better things for you.

Are you in the UK? If so then you can go to your GP and explain you're not being looked after by any hospital yet and can he refer you to one. Usually you'd have midwife appointments where they check your pregnancy is going smoothly, give advice, answer questions etc. you sound very vulnerable and in need of antenatal care.

Good luck.