i don't know if i can talk about it here?

[panele01]

hello everyone,
i am new here and i don't know,i am not sure if i can talk about it here? i am 20 weeks and 4 days pregnant
,but i am having problems in my life right now,difficulties,complications

Hi panele did you manage to get anything done?

Hello Melvali,i am such a dissapoitment to my baby,i am a serious dissapoitment,my mother asked me to do some things today,all i kept on thinking is to catch up with the time and make sure to do it quickly,my mind is always thinking about sleep,i will be seriously apologising to my baby this time again,i don't feel like posting in here anymore,i am such a dissapoitment

In half an hour's time the Rape Crisis freephone helpline 0808 802 9999 will be open again and will stay open until 9.30pm.

As it seems you have got up and dressed today, it's to be hoped that you will csll the number even if you have to go out of your mother's flat to get sufficient privacy to do so.

Will Panele be back?
Really not sure what to make of this difficult one!

Just de-lurking to say I have been so worried about the developments (or lack of) on this thread.

I really really hope that Panele takes some action to get the help that she and her baby needs.

Good evening,thank you very much,but i don't feel like posting in here right now,i hate my mother i really do,its better to take action then talk about it

My mother is worse then my baby's father,no no no,she is kind of the same like him

What i mean is? Her behaviour,her talking,her actions,it is really hard to explain,but "hate" is a strong word,i know,but i really do hate her

My mother asked me to write my previous Employment Agency's name and nr,i think she,herself or one of her client's will be contacting my Temporary Employment Agency this week

"Like my baby's father" - you mean she's a bully? Ji yra suteneris?

Just let her do what she wants with the agency, Panele. If she is stealing money from you, you can deal with it later when you have support.

First you need to get the support!

GarlicBake,yes,i would call her,a bully,she is sick in her head,i am worried she will cause more problems for me by trying to help me with Tax Return/Self-Assesment,ok,i will worry about my support now

So who have you called today panele? And to be fair if you won't do your tax return or find the documents your mum probably needs information from the agency.

As you are no longer employed by the agency in question it isn't a big deal if your dm calls them, but data protection rules may prevent them from giving her the information she needs to complete your tax return.

However, that's a side issue which is unlikely to have taken up all of your day. How did you spend the rest of it? Did you get yourself up and dressed this morning and have you been out of the flat?

Noeuf,i haven't called to Rape Crisis,my GP yet apart from my Employment Agency and Tax Office/HMRevenue too,i will apologise to my baby again,what my mother needs right now is P60

Until YOU do something, nothing will happen.

Panele - what do you want? Realistically?
Another day has gone by, another day when your mother has not been there and where you had time to get help, support and advice. You could be on your way to sorting this out. Yet, I see no effort in your part to solve these problems.

Really not sure what else I can say anymore.

BlackDoglet,my day was horrible,i feel horrible and i am really disappointed in myself seriously,i should be helping myself instead of sitting in this damn flat and doing nothing to help myself,i am sorry,i feel kind of a,angry with myself

Really, forget about the tax. This will get sorted out later.

It's more important to get health care for your pregnancy, and support. In that order. First, health. Next, support. After everything else, tax!

I can't believe the GP hasn't referred you to midwifery services.
You can self refer to the midwife, ring your local team and explain that you're 20+ weeks pregnant. I'm sure they'll get you in for a booking in/scan appointment. They are also very good at signposting and referring to supportive agencies.

You need a midwife.

Here you go, Panele :)

Community midwifery, antenatal care and birth centre: 020 8401 3000 ext. 4443

www.croydonhealthservices.nhs.uk/services/Maternity_Services/preparing-to-have-your-baby.htm

Look I'm not prioritising the tax, I'm just saying if her mum's trying to meet the deadline maybe she's actually being helpful.
To be honest panele, I can see you sitting doing nothing for the next few months. I get that your mother brings you down but you are being spoon fed advice and unless you are too depressed to do anything at all you need to start somewhere. Call the gp if you can't face doing anything.

I don't think Panele will do anything. I think there's a deeper reason..perhaps the pp who mentioned that she might be Russian might be on to something. I noticed that she didn't respond to any of the posts which were in Lithuanian.
Also, your mum might feel as frustrated as other posters. It seems that she's working full time, puts you up in her tiny flat, allows you to sleep all day, is trying to sort out your financial affairs (presumably because you won't) and perhaps her threats about taking your child, is because you won't take any responsibility for yourself or for your child's health. You've now missed both of the scans?!
Sorry to be harsh but maybe that'll prompt action

chocolatedrops31,i am Lithuanian and i was born in Lithuania,how to prove it to you?

GarlicBake,thank you very much

Say something in Lithuanian (a few lines). Even that's not really proof..but that's not the crux of the issue. More the fact that you're not doing anything to help you and your baby and it's difficult to understand why

I wasn't having a go at you, Noeuf

I have depression. When a lot of important things need doing urgently - which is always, because I let them pile up - I become immobilised and it's unbelievably hard to break that wall of unfaced problems into bite-sized & prioritised chunks. That's why I'm pushing a really simplistic "health, then support" message. All the rest is just noise, basically. When you're halfway through a pregnancy with no care plan and nowhere to live, civil service box-tickers can wait.

I have no idea whether Panele's mother is doing the right things tax-wise. I suspect not, since she seems more exercised about her daughter's P60 than her health. She might be pocketing Panele's tax credits. Who knows - and it's not important right now!

It's clear Panele is frightened of her mum and has been made to feel powerless. We know it will only take a few very persistent phone calls to start making things change for the better - but, wall of problems and priorities. Health comes first.

Panele, if it is true that your immigration status is difficult YOU WILL STILL GET HEALTH CARE & SUPPORT because you are pregnant.