DRY 10!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Welcome! This is the thread for those of us who want to abstain from alcohol. We are all at different stages of our journey, and many of us have some hiccups along the way, but we are committed to an exciting, fulfilling, joyful life alcohol-free.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2485290-DRY-9?pg=1

Everyone is welcome!

Ha ha umpteen I took great pride in selecting my socks this morning.
yellow I NEEDED to kondo. I've been living in shit forever. Do you need to Kondo?

Not everyone does if you do get a shifty on

JB welcome and please stay with us .....read back to the start of this thread if you haven't already and maybe a couple of earlier ones if you have time. Might be worth having a pen handy to jot down some of the fab links to other sites and apps that people have recommended.

Yes dona I need to kondo have been fighting it for many a year..

Hi jb7445 I am new too but this is my 18th day sober!! Amazed at myself but working really hard at it. Have a look at smart recovery handbook. That's been very useful for me so far.

Hi and welcome jb!

I keep mis-reading 'Kondo' for 'Conga' so have images of everyone Conga-ing their ways into sobriety.

Just had a blitz on my office desk. Feeling very satisfied.

Another Kondo fan here - did it last summer when we moved house and it really helped as we were downsizing so a great deal of shit stuff had to go! Listed it all on Ebay before Xmas and only one thing still on Gumtree left to sell
Umpteen I completely get what you were trying to say! Letting go of shame around booze has allowed me to let go of so many other things - including unnecessary possessions (although can't bring myself to do the same with photos!)
Welcome jb :)

All I can say, after the utterly utterly shite day I have had so far, is that THANK GOD I AM SOBER. I may need to jump in car for a long drive to sort out a v bad family situation any moment now.

The fact I can actually do that and that I have been able to deal with it all, today, is thanks to the support of all you lot on this thread. Also AA, lucy, SoberSassyLives, Sober School, Belle and all the other sober bloggers and websites.

glad.

cheesy thanks lovely and thanks for the supportive messages - they really helped

Glad Take care of you

Slightly long post alert but please indulge me
Once the decision is made to quit and embrace sobriety, I honestly don't think any of us should feel any shame at all about the past. It's completely pointless, it's not happening now or in the future and all it does is makes you feel shit. Why should we feel ashamed about admitting and being honest with ourselves about an issue that so many people delude themselves about? I think we probably all agree on that don't we?

Umpteen I totally get the increase in self esteem that you are experiencing. I feel the same. I know I look a lot better already, my skin is glowing and I'm toning up in places I never have before!! I feel bloody amazing. We should be proud of ourselves.

I don't share much really "personal stuff" either online or IRL, but if you knew what I have been through the last couple of weeks and how calmly I've dealt with it then you would be proud of me too. (Previously undiscovered financial issues/debt, untruths and a marriage taken to the brink - for the SECOND time in 5 years) please don't ask me anything about it, as I can't/don't want/need to talk about it on here. I have very much overshared for me but I just want people to know that there is no way I would have dealt with it well or probably at all if I'd still been drinking. No way. That is what sobriety does for you and it's still early days for me. I also truly believe that listening to Andrew NOOOWWW has had a real calming effect on me and has contributed to my feeling of wellbeing.
So to sum up, I've had a fucking shit time of it lately, it's still not perfect but I'm happier than I've ever been and I can only put that down to becoming a sober warrior and the support from my tribe that I have become a part of on here
Glad hope you are OK xx

can I ask how long everyone has been sober?

Hurricane thank you for sharing some insights into how things are for you and how sobriety has helped. I'm with you on the 'not looking back only forward' approach! Sorry you've had a fucking shit time of it and it sounds like you handling it like a true sober warrior . Love the tribe here too and to answer your question yellow I'm one of the old sober maids here - it's been 865 days

you are handling it

hurricane I hope everything falls the right way up for you. I love the tribe too. If I didn't have you lot I'd just have emptiness and conflicting thoughts about sobriety. I'd be lost (and probably drunk)
yellow I have been sober since 1 Jan but I changed my life for the better on the 18th November or thereabouts. I stopped drinking at home on that day. I am at home A LOT.
I drank daily. A LOT (as in amounts) I had a drunk night at Christmas which made me sick and tipples over the Christmas break. I say tipples as it was akin to a maiden aunt nursing a sherry and it didn't 'do it' for me. I like to go all out. Going all out is not an option for me as it causes me to a) be sick or b) have a row with either my children or OH c) which is guaranteed - hangover. My hangovers got to a legendary stage. Aching joints, lethargy and crippling anxiety.
So I can moderate but its miserable. Getting drunk is miserable too.
Sobriety is the greatest feeling. I never thought I'd say or feel that.

jb welcome :)
yellow I have been sober ( this time around) for 50 days today :)

I actually did 300 of 365 days in 2015 and the last 6 months in 2014, but am prone to lapses. That said, since I went to AA ( 1 month chip now hurrah!) and started listening to Andrew Johnson Stop Drinking app, actually doing lucy's Udemy course ( rather than just purchasing it but not following it ) and doing regular exercise I have found 2016 easier so far :) It is all about getting your personal sober toolkit just right for you and your personal circumstances. I have also signed up to Sober Sassy Lifestyle 28 day course which is also excellent.
I have had an utterly shit day - think family member gone missing, police involved, gp and hospital but all is sort of ok now and I am drinking an AF wine. I am about to go to bed to listen to AJ and enjoy the NOOOWWW of being a Sober Warrior

Hurricane for you also

Oh thanks folks for letting me know how long you've been sober. You are an inspiration to me.
glad am doing sober sassy too. From I open my eyes to bedtime I am working on this. Beginning to believe it's possible. Never before have I believe that. I accepted an early death.
xx hurricane
jb how you doing? Hang in there (and here!)
and lucy that's tremendous! At this stage do you feel you've 'cracked' it? As in does it feel easy now?
Have a peaceful sober Thursday everyone!

The Eisberg Red wine is v nice indeed and probably saved me from drinking the real stuff last night. I am a bit as to whether it is a good idea to reach for a glass of AF wine when I have the urge on me for the real stuff, but at least it meant I did not buy and drink the real stuff so I guess under the circumstances it was ok. In the past a day like yesterday would have been a 2 or maybe more bottle night. Thank god I have stopped.

Glad it sounds to me like you did the right thing then with the AF wine, lots of people drink it don't they...under the circumstances you did really, really well
With regards to what's happening in your family, all you can do now is leave it to the professionals and just be there to listen, support, whatever you can or need to do. Most of us have this built in default mode to try and fix everything and everyone and sometimes we just can't, situations can be too complex and you just can't be all things to all people. Xx

Thanks all for reading my post yesterday and I'm honestly fine, more than fine actually! But I wouldn't be without sobriety and AJ NOOOWW. I'm convinced that listening to him has done me so much good, not just with the drinking.
Re the situation.....I should have known (I did suspect) but I chose to bury my head. All sorted now....and I mean really sorted!

It's my birthday today! I'm 49 . I'm off to running club tonight but tomorrow I'm going shopping with my fab daughter and having a nice lunch. I've chosen Wahaca as I like their Mocktail and fresh juice menu!!! I'm really looking forward to it
And I'm going to have a spend!!

Happy Birthday Hurricane for you

Hi everyone,

I'm joining firstly to say thank you for mentioning Andrew Johnson - I finally found his apps after initially confusing your 'AJ' references for 'apple juice' and I ADORE them. After many counselling and hypno sessions over the years, this is nnnnnooooooowwwwwww the first thing that has had a really positive impact on me

Secondly, I'm here in the hope of finding some support and motivation.

I drink way too much, too often. I managed a couple of 6-day dry stints in January, but before that it was several years since I had a dry day, I think. I was hoping to go for just drinking at weekends, but failing miserably. I always seem to find a good reason/excuse to do it.

I work from home, full-time and also resident parent to two primary-age DC, evenings spent mostly home alone, so I drink to switch off. I also drink to calm vicious ongoing anxiety, to numb disabling depression and to release tension after each daily battle with a no-fault-of-my-own chronic health condition. Also to silence the constant chatter in my head about my ongoing divorce negotiations with an annoying flake of a STBXH/NRP who moved 4 hours away and contributes nothing, financially or emotionally.

I want to curb or stop my drinking, but not sure how to replace it. I finish work, put DCs to bed, and then what? I don't even have a drive home as childcare is walking distance from my house.

How do I switch off and reward myself for just about making it through another day? A bottle of wine used to be it, but can't be anymore, so what do I do instead?? I've realised that I have a bit of a 'poor me' attitude sometimes, so I'm trying to shake that off and pat myself on the back and count my blessings. That's a start, but it's not enough.

I think the rebel in me decides to get on the wine as a bit of a 'fuck you' to the world, but that's a bit daft, really, isn't it!

to all of you who have made the switch. Hoping I can glean some tried-and-tested wisdom from you!

oncemore welcome! from a huge AJ fan here!!

I am in a similar situation to you except I have a DH who is supportive and there for us - I have it so much easier ! ..but I still drank. And drank...

I get the "fuck it " rebellion stuff also BUT actually it doesn't help. Really. At all. The real rebellion is to not drink. THAT is saying "fuck it" to the vested interests who peddle the idea that alcohol (a damaging, addictive drug!) is normal and ok socially. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't - but to those with a faulty off switch it is NOT a good idea.

Just my views

My advice on how to replace the wine o'clock? take any or all of these as you want - shuffle up your routine; join in the conversations here; read loads of blogs ( see past posts!); sign up ( if you can) to online help; go to AA ; exercise ( if you can - not always an option); sober treats; distract, deflect the nagging voice ( some call it Wolfie here, or the Wine Witch, or the Vodka Vampire) that says you deserve a drink and it will make you feel better. It won't help if you drink. It really really won't. So do something else until the urge passes. It does get better, honest"

But you already know that :)

Hope this helps xxx