in love with him but he never wants to see me again

[Pain1]

I met a guy quite casually and I fell v deeply for him v quickly. I was wobbly emotionally when I met him and although we only met twice we had sex and I developed a massive attachment to him. It wasn't a very healthy relationship at all.
I think I scared him in the end. I was almost suicidal. He's blocked me on everything and never wants contact again.
I can't seem to move on from this experience. I've never felt like this before about anyone and I can't forget him Ive tried everything.
None of it makes sense.

My use of best and worst in that post ^^ was lazy and unacceptable. Please ignore/forgive.

Yes I accept it.
I know I must not contact him again. Deep down I know its gone. It's over.
Thank you for your help, I feel v sick about it all and appreciate it sounds ridiculous.

I went out with someone for a few months last year. It'll be a year ago on Tuesday that he came back into my life. I fell for him hard. He fell for me too apparently. I thought this was it. Never been so happy in my life. Then he dumped me. 3 times in the end. Thought my heart would break.

It hurts, I can never have him back, even if he came back I'd have to turn him down. He insulted me and my ds.

Maybe I projected too much, thought he was perfect when of course he wasn't. He was amazing. WE were amazing. I won't find another him. He won't find another me, but that's the way it goes. His loss.

I still think about him most days. It's an improvement on every waking thought being of him. It'll take time, but we just have to let go and keep on moving forward.

It will get easier. It will take time. Distract yourself with something. Someone even, keep yourself busy.

I'm sorry, I know what this feels like. But you know it's wrong, and that it's over. ((Hug))

Thank you hissy x

It's been 2 months and it still feels raw every time I get up

If mornings are always difficult, plan and structure your mornings. Have a routine, music /tv /MN(!), shower/bath with nice gels /soap.

Sending you hug, you can get through this

I have to there's no choice

Do you have children? Friends? Hobbies? Keep yourself busy

He is a trigger and not the cause of your extreme feelings. In an attempt to understand your emotions you've fixated on him because the source of your extreme feelings haven't yet been identified.

It was terrible bad luck to cross paths with such an arsehole at the time you did but the answers to what drove you to attach to such a dick so quickly, lie with you and not him.

Take some deep breaths and continue with therapy. As much as you want to fast forward over the pain, it is an essential part of the process that will, in the long term help in your recovery.

Resist the urge to contact him because he doesn't have the answers.

Yes v unfortunate to have crossed paths
But how long will the pain go on for. It's excruciating right now

He definitely manipulated you for sex, a 'tale as old as time' sadly. And you were especially vulnerable.

It will pass, and you will recognize him for the twat he is - or at the very least, you will see that he's just a normal man, nothing special. Just give it time. In the meantime keep yourself busy, try and distract yourself. Did you google limerance? It's what you're going through, and it's more to do with what's in your own head than him. Just hold tight, you'll get past it

It will get better .it will take time and work but it will happen .

You need to distract yourself with positive actions and thoughts . Do not give him headspace .

it really doesnt matter that you said you loved him. It really doesnt matter what he thinks. He is nothing

I did Google limerance
It's the exact damn thing.
I feel like such a fool. I was hysterical. It's like something out of a bad film what I did.
He still matters in my head but I'm really hoping it will pass.
I had to quit work but in the ny I must start temping again. But it's like it's an under thought in my head constantly
Thank you for listening

I was as cool as a cucumber when we first started talking
I just fell apart
I hate myself for the whole thing.
My therapist has been unavailable over xmas
I need our talks it's my safe place

its hideous when therapists are away isnt it.

You are OK. This is only a wobble. x

Pain, as another PP mentioned, perhaps having CBT would help rather than whatever counselling you're currently having? It sounds like you're trapped in endless thoughts about him which isn't helping you heal and CBT can give you the tools to break the negative thoughts spiral. I'm not convinved churning it over every week with a therapist is helping you move on from this man. How long have you been having the sessions and have you felt an improvement?

Yes trapped in endless thoughts for over 2 months
Well from the first time we had sex
Never had anything like this in my life
Done meditation, spiritual work, tried being busy, focussing on my daughter
No major shift just more pain and some acceptance that I'm crazy and he hates me

Also tried medication it did nothing

I think it scared him maybe what he'd done

Be very careful not to let him off so easily, even in your mind.

It didn't scare him. Because he's a cunt.

A nasty little fuckboy whose hero is probably Christian Gray. Who is also a cunt, incidentally.

I think you were vulnerable. I think he took advantage of that and abused you. And I think you wanted to somehow make it ok, romanticised him and his behaviour.

Limerance is hard to get over but it is possible.

Concentrate very, very hard on pushing hom from your mind.

He's not the person you thought he was. The man you love doesn't exist. And this little bastard certainly doesn't deserve any explanations.

How long will it last, no one can answer that but instead of waiting for it to pass (a watched kettle and all that) you can distract yourself. Exercise, new hobby, finding new employment etc and although these activities won't obliterate him from your thoughts, they will give thoughts of him less space to occupy.

Hopefully, while working through your issues you'll come to realise that he wasn't the cause of your extreme behaviour but a trigger of something much deeper that you haven't yet confronted.

You will get through this but it will take time, so use this time to your advantage and do something for yourself.

Youre not crazy but your entanglement with this arsehole has exposed some shit that needs dealing with.

This is all such good advice.
I feel like something died inside me, after he said he didn't like me the lights went out.
Like there were better, more together girls he will see that will expose me more to him as a nutter.
He said he was seeing another girl he liked and he missed her. He'd say things like that when we met. Talk about other girls. I know it was casual but it killed me inside. That woman is dead now and I'm just left with what I am now. Nothing

The attachment was immense. Not his fault he just didn't feel the same way

its good that he didnt feel the same way. It would have been completely dysfunctional and dangerous. It would have hurt you more

That's the only thing that keeps me going
The universe saved me from something worse