Well, can I suggest that you hold off on that conversation? Make no mistake, blood is thicker than water and she'll give him some sort of headsup. Even if she can see that he's being unfair to you, she will understand that the route to a relationship with her gc ultimately goes through her son, not through you. So she may be a decent woman but do not trust her to not warn her son that your thinking is starting to change.
I wouldn't suggest marriage until after Christmas. For two reasons. If he says no it'll make Christmas very tense and awkwkard. If he says yes, I still don't think you're in a different situation until you are actually legally married. Ring shming. Proposal shmozal. Do not transfer your money until you're legally married. If you get engaged and he says ''right transfer your cash'' smile sweetly and say yes! of course! when we're married.
The cogs in your brain are shifting around and giving you new insight. Why not roll with that before you start negotiations. If you feel valuable, if you feel strong, if you've been on the phone to the tax credit people and spoken to your boss and thought about where you could live and how you could make it all work, then you would have a much stronger attitude from which to negotiate. Read ''wife work". Read "a woman in your own right". "running on empty" "why does he do that". Ring the tax credit people as suggested earlier.
Line up your ducks inside your head. Try to save a bit extra. And then, in a few months when you've save a bit extra and you have begun to value yourself, give him ONE MORE CHANCE. Tell him the register office is booked.
Don't go racing in there tonight. You want to get engaged a Christmas. YOu want a nice ring. You're not valuing yourself enough at the moment. Maybe he will surprise you and marry you. But maybe if you think about this for a while longer, you will feel worth more when you start to negotiate.
I hope you understand me 