AIBU to be really upset that DH walked out of a restaurant and left me & 3 kids?

[TreeHuggerMum1]

Husband rung me and told me he'd collected the kids from after school club and that it would be nice if we all went for a family meal. I meet him at the restaurant 15 mins or so later and he looks miserable, food arrives quickly and nothing out of the ordinary happened, our youngest is 3 so is a little testing but she is a darling really and certainly not badly behaved by any means. Anyway, he wolfed down his dinner, said he couldn't cope and left me and 3 kids under 9 in the restaurant. WTF?!
Two screaming kids and one looking really confused.
I'm so mixed up emotionally today, anger, resentment and confusion are some.
My eldest has said this morning that Daddy apologised to him before he left for work but he's upset that lately he treats us like "junk".
We barely spoke last night. DH asked me if I was ok this morning and I've said not really, ive said that he can't behave that way and he said he knew he was in the wrong and he's having a tough week at work and then left.
I work 5 days a week and have 3 young kids, I often have "tough" days but would never even contemplate a move like that. AIBU?

Good for you. Hopefully this'll be enough to start his improvement, if you you may need to force the issue of seeing the doctor if it is out of character for him and down to stress.

I had similar with my DH after the death of his dad last year. Told him I loved him but missed him as he'd changed and if it went on any longer then it would permanently affect his relationship with DD and he needed to go to the doctor as he clearly wasn't coping. Took a couple of months from there to get the right dose of mess but we're back to normal again.

*mess =meds

And he was very dismissive of your suggestion he sees his GP, which is a bit shit, tbh. He should at the very least have considered it and thought "Yes, actually, I'm finding it hard to cope with all the stress just now, maybe I should go and talk it all over with my GP rather than leave my wife and 3 children alone in a restaurant just because my 3yo wouldn't wash her hands when I told her..." rather than "there's nowt wrong with me!"

I hope it improves too. But I do think he should se his GP.

I'm glad he's said he'll try to improve. Please make sure you hold him to that and don't forget what happened.

i think you handled it the right way.
if he wants out, you told him that you are prepared to let him go. you are right. i would have done exactly the same. let him see what he will lose should he ultimately walk.

GPs aren't magicians who can wave a magic wand and make a bad situation at work better. Possibly the only solution is for him to leave, but I'm guessing that's not an option? But I know from my own experience that sometimes work is just shit and there's fuck all you can do about it, but other people always think you can make your nightmare manager better or alter the entire culture of the company or whatever. But you can't. You can either get out or go under.

Do you know what's going on at his work, OP? Is it a project that has an end in sight, or is it an ongoing situation that he has little or no control over?