Brave Babes - Wrapping up for a Wonderful Winter

[venusandmars]

Hi, I am venusandmars and I've been on these threads for many years.

It can be tough at this time of year when the adverts are full of families cheerfully opening bottles of wine and good cheer, when work parties are alcohol fuelled, when distant friends call round with a bottle in hand.

Maybe you're trying to cut down a little in the pre-Christmas weeks, maybe you are struggling to know how to continue with a longer period of abstinence, maybe you are waking up after a Christmas Party feeling sick and covered in shame (or even feeling shame and covered in sick).

Whatever, whenever, if you want to stop, or cut down, or simply share your struggle with others who also feel the tug..... please join us.

Usually our lovely mouseface opens these threads, but the poor mouse is sick in hospital and so I am overcoming the technophobia that a 50-something feels.... (well done me ). Our last thread is here if you want to read the last few posts

And if you want to read the story from the beginning (you'll need a few weeks) HERE is where it all started when Jesuswhatnext posted in May 2010.

Welcome one and all x

Lost my post and huge t'interbosie for Indie
Where the fk have you BEEN you daft old tart?

isinde hugs. mILs can be horrid. Don't think they always mean to be, but we will never be good enough for their sons, however lacking their sons maybe. And my DP is generally lovely. I'm empathising with the lack of relationship comms - me too! I'm so guilty of that. And the Christmas booze linkage is almost too much for anyone to resist. I'm going to try to keep up a few AF nights through December ( usually just get on it every night - it's Christmas!) but no. And dry jan. margie is up for that too.

Morning babes,

Been super busy this week, feel the stress of Christmas big time. Have already been sent over a few bottles of wine by lovely friends which dh has drank. Everyone is revving up for the festivities but it's the only time that I feel my sobriety is a handicap, I would love to think I could attend events sober but the truth is I just don't trust myself yet.

I also feel bad that my decisions to not go to certain parties will spoil things for dh and my girls as they would enjoy the family parties with friends BUT they all involve drink.

The truth is I can manage my sobriety in my own little cocoon but in the big wide world I can't be sure. It's not even the booze that worries me, it's that I don't think I'll be any fun sober, despite my very outgoing persona, I guess I'm kinda shy and awkward.....

It's very wrong to say this but I guess I just don't have fun sober, it still feels like a sacrifice rather than a choice, I hope that will change over time. I'm scared, I've so much to lose, I'm so lucky to have been forgiven for what's gone by, I cannot fail but I cannot hide either!!!!!!

mouse I'm so so sorry about Seth, I know how much you and your family adored him. I cannot and will never be able to figure out why someone as kind and wonderful as you keeps getting so much pain and sadness thrown at you, genuinely baffled and humbled by your continual faith in this, at times devastating world xxx

Right I'll be back after my SW class, want to catch up with so many of you having bad times xxxxx

Awful news babes. Our dear mouse who has been through so much has now been hit by a car and is in hospital! Her husband says the driver of the other vehicle( who has called her a f**cking cripple in the past) drove at her deliberately and knocked her down and then drove off. There were witnesses and Mr Mouse is on the case. How much more can one person suffer?

Oh ma that is awful and very, very

for mouse - but no hug until all her bones have been checked out.

baby that sounds tough about missing out on social events, and it also sounds like a good strong decision. I am certain that given a choice your family would give up every social event to have you sober with them another day.

I am also sure that you are NOT boring sober, but maybe it is about finding, eventually, some new kinds of socialising. I agree that going to annual (boozy) events and doing without the booze is tricky. I have 3 events coming up, 2 of which are with people with whom I've never had a drinking relationship, and they are very easy to manage, it doesn't cross my mind to drink with them. The third is with a friend who can't drink because of a chronic health problem, so it feels supportive to be out with her - and I can see that we have much more of a laugh than when we used to drink.

Just take it all slowly and enjoy being at home. Christmas parties are much over-rated ime.

Good god that's awful. Poor poor mouse I hope you are ok and that the person who did this is arrested and brought to justice. That is a very serious crime, driving a car at someone.

Bloody hell, poor mouse, what an utter bastard he is to do that to her

Please keep us posted ma if you hear any more from Mr M. He must be beside himself with worry.

baby you can hide for a little bit. You're doing really well and putting your sobriety first is the only way to be successful. There will be other Christmases when you will feel stronger and more able to battle the ww in her home ground. For now just remember, 'if you get some sober momentum, don't fuck it up' x

Good to have you back with us Isinde.

Marfisa so sorry that you are feeling overwhelmed at the moment. If you could get on top of just one thing (do whichever is easiest for you) that will help you to feel more in control. Small steps. Well done on sticking with AA when you're under pressure.

Just home from an amazing night at Edinburgh castle at the military dinner.All that passing the port has left me a teeny bit pissed but I had good fun! Goodnight all

Morning babes,

I could barely believe what I was reading about mouse, had to keep rereading it to actually believe it. What a effing scumbag!!! mouse a million hugs xxx

spanna I have thought long and hard about you and the terrible time you've been having. Your an amazing mother and your kindness and ability to care for others radiates through your posts. Sadly when our babies become teenagers there are situations and relationships we cannot control or fix, I would not go back to that time for a the tea in China. Their every emotion is magnified and we cannot protect them from the realisation that yhe world and it's inhabitants are not always good and and people flawed, hell thats why we all ended up on here!!!! Keep being the wonderful mother that you are and she will navigate these choppy waters. Big giant hug my very dear friend, xxx

joey you are so brave to go to AA, please tell us more about the experience, will you go back? I'm very interested xxx

Thanks faire and venus for reaffirming my thoughts, I respect you both enormously xxx

God, life is hard sometimes!!!

And ofcourse so glad inside is back home with us, luv ya girl xxx

ma sounds like you had an amazing night, so glad you got a break from al the worry with dd and I hope she's well xxx

beats eating a chippy tea on the sofa.....

Morning babes, just logged on and seem Ma's post about Mouse, any update on her? How much can one woman take?

Me too Obrigada going to do a proper post to all later as been a manic week but so, so horrified that someone drove a car at our Mouse. And called her that name. God, I am so fucking angry right now that if I knew where she lived I would drive to her house, find the bastard and bloody well mow him down (and then reverse over him to make sure). Fuming. . Ma do let us know how she is xxx (if you have finished hobnobbing). I had a black tie do last night which was actually very enjoyable but nothing compared to that

will let you all know as soon s I hear anything more.

What are you all up to today? Weather here is vile < waves to Venus on other side of impassible bridge>.
Been shopping. Now time to start on the house and dig out the Christmas decs...

I'm not doing anything today. I've got a cold and I'm having a duvet day. Christmas has been put on hold.

Just been to utterly freezing and muddy, wet cross country race with ds. Yes in the bath now. Bit of shopping next, sausage butties for lunch then putting tree up.

We're arguing about Christmas decorations here...

Hope you feel better soon faire

I never knew that narrow strings of tinsel were called 'lametta' - I had never even heard of the word! Every day is a learning day on the Bus

I love lametta. Can't do the tree as have just discovered it is in the attic, not the high up cupboard so will have to wait until I can borrow some ladders from mum to get the damn thing down! Bah, just when I had a peaceful few hours in which to do it.
Instead have baked mincemeat shortbread slices and a lemon drizzle cake.....

Hang it on your tree joey, makes it all twinkly as it reflects the lights.

Mmmmm mincemeat shortbread

mouse is home! Battered and bruised she says. The police are taking her statement and she says she will post on the thread later.

Justice for Mouse. Hope they lock him up, bastard.

Dd has told me our Christmas Tree is appalling and had made me promise to throw out all the old childhood decorations and one off ornaments next year to replace with something tasteful in white and silver. Can we accommodate a pom pom reindeer and a snowman made of a yakult bottle and cotton wool on Gerald's dashboard please? (wipes away sentimental tear)