Brave Babes - Wrapping up for a Wonderful Winter

[venusandmars]

Hi, I am venusandmars and I've been on these threads for many years.

It can be tough at this time of year when the adverts are full of families cheerfully opening bottles of wine and good cheer, when work parties are alcohol fuelled, when distant friends call round with a bottle in hand.

Maybe you're trying to cut down a little in the pre-Christmas weeks, maybe you are struggling to know how to continue with a longer period of abstinence, maybe you are waking up after a Christmas Party feeling sick and covered in shame (or even feeling shame and covered in sick).

Whatever, whenever, if you want to stop, or cut down, or simply share your struggle with others who also feel the tug..... please join us.

Usually our lovely mouseface opens these threads, but the poor mouse is sick in hospital and so I am overcoming the technophobia that a 50-something feels.... (well done me ). Our last thread is here if you want to read the last few posts

And if you want to read the story from the beginning (you'll need a few weeks) HERE is where it all started when Jesuswhatnext posted in May 2010.

Welcome one and all x

Am making my Christmas list in the hope dh will take the hint....
Tomorrow I have a massage with the lovely Derek...drool!

Well done april! I've been revelling in TFI Friday which used to be my favourite post pub programme ever! Still just as good. Not sure about Ellie Golding though! About to switch to celeb to see what Lady Cunt is up to this evening!!

Oops. Did I kill the thread with the C bomb? Apols to anyone who was offended.

Haha I doubt it pop, that woman can drive people to despair I'm sure. What a miserable soul she is.

Am working up to a spot of Christmas shopping this afternoon. Really don't want to go out but I haven't bought anything yet, so better get started I suppose.

Margie how're you doing?

Not offended, but I have no idea who she is! I was in bed nice and early and up and out early this morning, feeling thankful for no hangover!

Afternoon, tis me, a very sad Mouse

Yesterday, we had to have our gorgeous gentle giant, Seth our Alaskan Malamute, put to sleep.

He'd been poorly for a few weeks but yesterday, he took a turn for the worse and couldn't stand for long, he was having nose bleeds again and wheezing. They are prone to tumours anyway but he was going to be five human years old on Monday 5th December.

The vet suspected that he had a bleed in his spine, but the cause of his death was cancer.

We'd had him since he was a puppy. He was DH's buddy, his pal..... Sethy was DH's time out from work, a way for DH to enjoy some time away from the madness of the world and they would go all over the place just to take a walk together. It's so awful, he's utterly broken.

Hopefully the pictures will be visible so you can all see our gorgeous gentle giant, Seth. We miss you xx

Hello Mouse I was around many moons ago, and just popped in as I saw it was a short thread and usually you're just too long for quick read and check in on.
What beautiful pictures of Seth
So handsome, you must be heartbroken.
Look after yourself.

mouse so very sad to hear about Seth. He can now ride with spirit in the sidecar....
Had my massage and been Christmas shopping. Was all set for a domestic goddess session making soup and prepping red cabbage for freezing but having to drive to Stirling to collect dd2 who has taken a turn for the worse...
faire I have nearly all my Christmas shopping done - and wrapped. (Apart from today's haul).

Seriouslyffs - Thank you so very much for posting such a kind message to me :)

I've decided that we're not doing November next year. I spent 4/5 days in hospital with an undiagnosed condition that caused excruciating head, neck, and eye pain, with numbness to my leg and resulting in me having every test under the sun, including a lumbar puncture which took six attempts! (Nov 22nd - 26th.)

It was the two years anniversary of my wonderful mum passing from lung cancer and pneumonia (Nov 23rd)

And yesterday, we lost our gentle giant Sethy (Nov 27th)

So quite frankly, I'm done with November

Ma - I hope that DD2 is okay? If in doubt, call 111 and speak to a medic or get her to A&E.

Oh, and btw right now, I feel like slapping you around the chops with Barry The Squid for being so bloomin' smug about Christmas

But then I have to forgive you for saying that Sethy can ride with Spirit in the side car. Thank you xxx

Oh and btw, the doc who discharged me said it was a bad migraine. Nothing adds up to it being that but I'll post more about that later.

However, what does fit is fibromyalgia. 100%. It's just getting someone to diagnose it and then help me to treat it.

Oh mouse I am so sorry to hear about Seth what a tough time you're having - I hope December is better for you

Just cooked the Christmas red cabbage for freezing and the whole house smells of Christmas.... Lovely!.
Dd2 is home. Has had a bath and a sleep and is huddled up in her onesie. She's not really eating and says she is constipated - probably all the ibuprofen and paracetamol. She is sleepy, pale and thin. University have said she can do assignments instead of exams so that might help.

Ma - ibuprofen and paracetamol won't bung her up but she needs to drink lots of water, at least 2 litres a day.

Also, Senna or something else off the shelf at the supermarket will help. Poor DD2, such a star and so with a lovely personality. I hope rest will sort her out. xxx

Please tell her auntie Mouse sends her love and well wishes. xxx

Thank you mouse I will tell her. She went to bed at 8.30. Had a mug of home made soup before bed. She always asks after nemo and how he is getting on.

Oh Mouse what an awful month, I'm so sorry. Your Seth was such a beautiful boy.

Incidentally your Mum died two weeks after mine - my lovely Mum died of cancer on November 9th 2013, aged 61. So I'd be very happy to cancel November forever, let's petition the government.

I did 3 days AF and then 4 days very much not AF...and friends are coming round for lunch tomorrow so the chances of a boozy Sunday are huge. I feel like I simply don't believe that I'm capable of living without booze.

I seem to be drinking again...

Have been seriously considering going to AA. I've found a group which meets on Tuesday, it's 'closed' which I'd prefer as it's only other drinkers, not relatives.

OK my problem is dh - I know he won't like the idea because

1. He'll say "You're not that bad - just don't drink"
2. He will think it's full of dodgy old men alcoholics (ie like my father)
3. He will worry that they could encourage me and make me worse

Maybe I'm drinking tonight and last night to help him realise I need help?! Anyway, wise babes how do I reassure him... I'm very nervous about this step!

mouse, I'm so, so sorry to hear about beautiful seth. Far too young to leave. My heart goes out to you.

joey, that's a tricky one. My DH doesn't get how disfunctional my drinking is/was either so would be the same I suspect. I've still not managed to have a proper conversation with him about it.

Love to all babes, I'm typing without my specs, with one eye closed so a longer post is beyond me!

Love to you mouse and so sorry for your loss. Beautiful seth rest in peace.

for everyone this cold windy morning. Feels like the bus has its share of sadness and struggle. We need to hold on tight as I know it sounds naff but tomorrow is another day. I have been drinking too building up to blow out last night but was at least at home watching TV with a bottle and not trying to mix it with the world.

Like you margie I seem now to be able to three days AF then comes my four day boozey reward. Need to break the pattern. I'd like to know me totally without alcohol. Is anyone up for dry January with a possibility of '. One year no beer' ??

Ps joey it doesn't matter what DH thinks. Get yourself to those meetings if you think it will help. He will surely see the difference and relent? Although of course I don't know him.

Or are there any women only groups near you I believe these do exist?

joey could you pretend you are somewhere else - Christmas shopping even - and then tell him afterwards and say you found it really helpful?

Hi joey, I'm a long-time bus lurker and once in a blue moon poster. I just wanted to encourage you to get to that meeting and not to worry about what your DH thinks. I first started going to AA in summer 2014 and I now haven't had a drink in over a year. It has helped me manage my anxiety and depression so much better. I have endless respect for all the mutual support and hand-holding that goes on on the bus, but for me, I needed face-to-face support to stop drinking, and I found it in AA.

I find it fairly easy now not to drink but I still keep going to the meetings as a way of grabbing an hour of serenity here and there and keeping my anxiety at bay. AA is all about helping you work out how to cope with the feelings that make you want to drink - so instead of numbing yourself with alcohol, you let yourself actually feel all the scary feelings you're trying to numb. The rawness can be terrible at the beginning but it gets so much easier after awhile.

So you could tell your DH that you are going not just in order to manage your drinking, but also in order to get some support in dealing with everything in life that makes you stressed out or upset. Because that's what it does for me. That said, I think that it would be incredibly controlling of him to try to discourage you from going (it's not about him, it's about YOU), and he can just eff right off.

Another thing that has helped me make the most of AA meetings is to take the stuff I find helpful and leave the rest. If someone says something I disagree with or don't identify with, I don't worry about it, I just ignore it. Everyone in AA has to find their own path.

My head is not perfect now, far from it, but I am so so happy to be free of the compulsion to drink. I never thought I would get this far but here I am, one day at a time.

Much much love to all the other babes - keep on hanging in there!

About women's groups, there are none near me, but I found an NA group that is women-only and I love that group. NA (Narcotics Anonymous) considers alcohol to be a drug like any other drug, so there are some members of NA whose only addiction is to alcohol (I'm one). NA's demographic is a bit younger and their literature is more secular-sounding. So I attend a mix of meetings in both fellowships, just based on how much I like a particular meeting and how well it fits into my (crazy crazy) schedule.

Also, to Mouse. You've had a horrific month indeed.

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Ma - I'm glad DD2 is eating something, little and often. Uni is dreadfully stressful, DD is in sixth form and the workload is beyond belief! I'm glad that Uni have said that DD2 can do assignments instead, that will at least take some pressure off the poor girl. Send her my love again will you? xxx

Margie - I'm so sorry for your loss, my mum was only 59, that's really no age for either of them is it? Cancer is a bastard and there's nothing I hate more in this world. It takes and takes from so many..... it destroys families, lives.

I got a call from my lovely Dad asking me to drive to where my family all live, he explained to my DH as I'd already guessed what was happening.

I knew she was ill, with a chest infection, but that was all. I had 14 hours with her and towards the end, I was begging the Powers That Be to take her, to stop her suffering, to stop the pain.... I couldn't bear to watch her die, to fade to nothing. xxx

marfisa - Hello! I'm so glad you posted again. Thank you so much for your kind words. That was so nice of you xxx

Joey - I agree with what marfisa has posted. It's also so hard when your partner is telling you that 'you don't drink that much' 'you're fine and don't over do it'......

The reason that you're here, posting what you did is because YOU know that you're slipping back into your old ways again...