Brave Babes - Wrapping up for a Wonderful Winter

[venusandmars]

Hi, I am venusandmars and I've been on these threads for many years.

It can be tough at this time of year when the adverts are full of families cheerfully opening bottles of wine and good cheer, when work parties are alcohol fuelled, when distant friends call round with a bottle in hand.

Maybe you're trying to cut down a little in the pre-Christmas weeks, maybe you are struggling to know how to continue with a longer period of abstinence, maybe you are waking up after a Christmas Party feeling sick and covered in shame (or even feeling shame and covered in sick).

Whatever, whenever, if you want to stop, or cut down, or simply share your struggle with others who also feel the tug..... please join us.

Usually our lovely mouseface opens these threads, but the poor mouse is sick in hospital and so I am overcoming the technophobia that a 50-something feels.... (well done me ). Our last thread is here if you want to read the last few posts

And if you want to read the story from the beginning (you'll need a few weeks) HERE is where it all started when Jesuswhatnext posted in May 2010.

Welcome one and all x

Thanks, Ma. The sentimentalist in me hopes we can all come back over the Christmas break and have a proper catch up, before the pressure of the new year and its associated abstinence kicks in. It would be so lovely to see everyone. I'll be out of action for the next few days but back again next week and will definitely be checking in.

How is stuff at work: are things still afloat (and is there still ogling to do?)?

Only just afloat in work. Can't stop bailing long enough to look at a strategic plan so exhausting and stressful.
Still lots of ogling to be done. A perk of the job but it doesn't pay the bikksy, more's the pity.

Bills, not bikksy!!!!!

Ma, I love Bikksy - maybe a friend for Barrie/y

My post disappeared and I can't be bothered rewriting it all again! It said basically mouse ma fox good to see you

Evening, tis me, Mouse

I'm sorry but this is another selfish post................

I can't sleep as I keep seeing his face right in mine when I close my eyes. I see him looking right at me as he floors the accelerator and drives at me as hard as he can. His dark eyes locked with mine.

The face that he had on his second attempt beggars belief. I've heard nothing from the police since they took my statement on Friday.

I also can't believe that this time last week, I was in A&E strapped to a spinal board with head blocks, not being able to see anyone who came in, feeling very vulnerable and insecure.

I don't know if he has given his statement but yesterday, when DH brought me home from an appointment, his car was outside the house/old post office that he was working on. Just two short doors away from my home.

A home that I thought I was safe in. I'm so scared. I'm going to take a sleeping tablet that the GP prescribed and try to pass out.

Tomorrow is Nemo's nativity in the church near the school and I know I'm going to cry!! I've going in my wheelchair thank goodness, and crutches or walking frame should I be able to use them.

My dropped foot is no better and I've emailed Ma some pictures of some of my bruises...... I'm not sure that I sould be putting them 'openly' on any forums but if anyone wants to see them, PM me your email address.

I feel in complete limbo. And so scared.

I better go to bed and try to sleep............

Take care Babes

I'm sorry to bring the thread down, I just need to snuggle up at the back of the bus in my bedding. xxx

Oh mouse I hate to think of you feeling scared in the lovely home you've been creating for dd and nemo and I hope it helps to write some of your feelings on here, especially in the middle of the night, when everything can feel so overwhelming.

I hope that the nativity was suitably tear-jerking - you must feel like a very proud mum to see him participating

I've seen the photos and mouse is indeed battered and bruised. That guy is a total cunt. He could have killed her!
joey how are you dear thing?

morning indie
how's things?

isindie what an early morning shock! (saw it on my mobile but can't post until I'm safely back at home on my pc) - good to see you posting, so how are things???

How are all other babes on this Friday evening? Calm or bored, or bustling and anxious, or battling and winning or losing.... Whatever, it's still OK to post.

hi I'm new .is this the place to want to be sober and help Keeping me in that place?

Evening, tis me, Mouse

I've been at Nemo's Christmas Cracker (fayre to you and I ) doing Christmas tattoos on the children, so I thought I'd have one on my hand. I used and elf on, called him Bob and told all the children that sat down he was my little helper for the night

The kids loved it! So, Bob and I are now tucking into one of MrMouse's famous homemade chicken curries with homemade Naan bread. Lush!

It's VERY quiet on here, are all the Babes Christmas shopping or out on office parties?

Ma - How's DD2 now? I've been thinking about her xx

IsinDe - lovely to see you again, it's been ages! :) xx

Hey Joey :) xx

I'm shattered and really fed up. I feel in utter limbo because I've not heard anything from the police after my attack and the officer is not in until after the weekend..... I'm just not able to switch off the events of that horrific day. All my friends are asking where things are up to, my pain levels are so bloody high....

I can't sleep because whichever way I lie, it's on a bruise(s).

We get Seth back from the vet too, he's been cremated. We really have had a rubbish few weeks but it's Christmas!! and we have a tree that needs putting up, decorations to find homes for and cards to write.

IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!

Welcome mad. This is indeed the place to be. The Babes will be checking in over the weekend so stick with us.
mouse she seems better tonight. I am staying at her flat in Stirling after works night out. I had one G and T and one glass of wine and am now tucked up in bed in borrowed pyjamas! I was told to get home at a decent hour and not be drunk or make a noise as she has work tomorrow......life is sweet when the tables turn full circle! Now all I have to do is leave a wet towel on the floor and a dirty mug in the front room and revenge will be complete.

thanks Dem
I'll check back in tomorrow.

Ma - sleep well darling and do your worst in the morning! ! Only kidding!

Hey Mad - Welcome to the Bus... find somewhere you feel safe and secure and settle down. You have found the right place to be and we'll all be back at some point to chat, weekends are always quieter. Nice to meet you though x

Meds time for me and then getting up the stairs on my bottom again! It really hurts, but it's the only way that I can get upstairs.

Be back over the weekend, we're putting the Christmas tree etc up so I have to...........

a) do it myself,
b) make sure it all looks like I wanted it to if I'd done it myself
or
c) just do it myself!

Night lovelies xxx

Welcome to new posters. Try to stick with us, jump in and post any time, you do not have to keep up with the thread, or remember who said what. There are a lot of us and it can take a while to work out where we are all at.

The main thing is that we are all here to support each other. As has been said, no judging, no leaving anyone behind. Some babes like to travel incognito (read but not post) and that's fine

Know that we are thinking of you, we care about you and you are still with us and always will be, whether you post or not.

It's a busy time for lots of us so keeping what's important at the top of the list matters now more than ever. Extra stresses, money, time, relationships can all be extra demanding at this time of year.

Wishing everyone peace and strength to deal with whatever comes your way this day x

Welcome to new posters. Try to stick with us, jump in and post any time, you do not have to keep up with the thread, or remember who said what. There are a lot of us and it can take a while to work out where we are all at.

The main thing is that we are all here to support each other. As has been said, no judging, no leaving anyone behind. Some babes like to travel incognito (read but not post) and that's fine

Know that we are thinking of you, we care about you and you are still with us and always will be, whether you post or not.

It's a busy time for lots of us so keeping what's important at the top of the list matters now more than ever. Extra stresses, money, time, relationships can all be extra demanding at this time of year.

Wishing everyone peace and strength to deal with whatever comes your way this day x

Hey indie having seen the state of the shower, there was no way I was getting in there!
Good to see you on here again. How are the DTS? How old they now - about 14 or something???
Am off to bed for an early night so sleepy waves to all.

Lovely words Faire and much appreciated tonight... . Not feeling the Christmas love here. Been spending a lot of time and money on Christmas treats, concerts, fecking I-phones and the rest of it and working like crazy and feel like that is all I'm good for. Pre-teen dd barely civil between treats and downright rude when asked to find her school bag / keys / take her plates out. WB being a bad tempered freeloading twat, complaining about the hours I'm working while happy to let me pay the bills, and complaining about me doing nothing in the house while I cook, shop, wash and iron, organise the kids and everything else. Granted I don't cook the kids tea or wash up in the week but that's cos I'm out at work ... And after a long commute usually get straight back in the car (without dinner ... He never makes any for me) and take ds training till 9pm.Tonight he screamed at me in the street because after picking up ds from the tram stop (and taking him earlier and giving him money to go out) I sat in the car while he undid the garage locks to put our cars away. It was pouring and I had no coat on and my car parking sensors don't work for 10 mins after I take the key out. He's done nothing all day while I did Xmas shopping, got a birthday present and card for a mutual friend (he hadn't even realised it was her birthday) and the million other little things that make you a human being who gives a shit about others. I've been in bed since 8.00pm. I wish he would just leave. Ds refused to watch tv with him and came upstairs and so he has spent the night spoiling dd. I haven't had a drink up to now, but I could just get hammered. Or leave. Finish work on Friday and actually don't want to. I have a better laugh with work colleagues than I do here, where I'm always walking on eggshells, stepping between hormonal teen moods and entitled, narcissistic twunt behaviour.

Sorry for selfish rant, anyhoo..... Mouse, hope you are feeling a bit better darling. Cannot believe that man is still at liberty. He should be remanded in custody until he gives his statement. If he comes near you again film it on your phone as evidence. Hope you get some sleep tonight matey.

Mad you are welcome. I'm normally less whiny, come back soon and find me on a good day

Ma are you back home now? Did you leave a trail of dishes for dd behind ?

And lovely Spanna. How is your dd? How are you ? Sending you hugs my lovely.

Isinde great to see you again and well done on not drinking tonight x Special hugs for you at this time of year.

Venus, Baby, April, Marfisa, Small, Joey and all of you lovely lot. Hope you are having a good Saturday (watery smile) ... I have a day of housework and hell tomorrow but back at work Monday ... I wonder if the reason I've never had a day out of work since meeting WB is not only because we'd starve waiting for him to earn but because he is such a groke that I can't stand being in the house? Maybe the Government could employ him to go into workless homes and incentivise them

Hello babes how is everyone doing this weekend?

babyj you asked about AA.

There were about 15 people there, equal numbers of men and women. Almost all of them older than me. A mixed lot, some of them very 'normal' one or two what I imagine classic alcoholics are! All of them were very friendly and welcoming to me.

I was nervous about going, so I missed the first part. It lasted an hour and a half. It did seem quite religious, which I wasn't sure about. Eg. There was a 'reading' from The Big Book; every time someone spoke there was almost like a "prayer and response"

"Hi, I'm Steve, and I'm an alcoholic"
"Welcome, Steve" (by everybody)

There was also a communal prayer at the end, and mention of a "higher power, whatever you take that to be"

I was asked if I wanted to share my story, but accepted when I said I wasn't ready. The women all shared their phone numbers with me, and encouraged me to get in touch if I needed to.

I do intend to go back (unable to this week as I was busy) as everyone was very kind and supportive. I did feel a bit guilty that I don't have such a severe problem as most of them - partly due to all the help I've had on the Bus! - but I will continue and see if it is helpful.

Morning, tis me, Insomniac Mouse

Joey - "I did feel a bit guilty that I don't have such a severe problem as most of them" - sweetie, your problem is as severe as anyone and everyone else's! Don't you dare play this down.

Yes, some of the women/men who talk at these meetings will talk about losing their families, jobs, cars, homes etc.... yes that is severe. But the word 'severe' means different things to different people.

You are as worthy as the next AA member or anyone, to share their story and be heard :)

People can "listen" to you but those who really care about you are the ones who actually LISTEN to you. I'm one of them. And there are lots more here too.......

Keep trying, keep going if you got a tiny flutter of positiveness out of the time you were there..... Imagine me or any other Babe there with you, holding you hand, tucked away in one of your pockets, but there with you nevertheless.

Every Babe has a 'back-up' on this bus, whether sober, drinking or somewhere in between. I'm actually proud of myself for not getting absolutely wasted over these past two/three months.

Life can be so very cold and dark at this time of year for lots of us, for many reasons. That's why posting here is a life-line. A warm place to be, a safe place to be. No judging, no looking down our noses at you... just us, The Brave Babes.

We all need to rant or let it all out at times..... there is no shame, none at all in saying 'out loud' on here that you need a Huggle, an ear to hear you, actually hear you.

And on that note, a sleeper is coming my way, my Christmas tree is up and finally decorated so I'll post som pics soon.

Be brave Babes, love Mouse xxx