Brave Babes - Wrapping up for a Wonderful Winter

[venusandmars]

Hi, I am venusandmars and I've been on these threads for many years.

It can be tough at this time of year when the adverts are full of families cheerfully opening bottles of wine and good cheer, when work parties are alcohol fuelled, when distant friends call round with a bottle in hand.

Maybe you're trying to cut down a little in the pre-Christmas weeks, maybe you are struggling to know how to continue with a longer period of abstinence, maybe you are waking up after a Christmas Party feeling sick and covered in shame (or even feeling shame and covered in sick).

Whatever, whenever, if you want to stop, or cut down, or simply share your struggle with others who also feel the tug..... please join us.

Usually our lovely mouseface opens these threads, but the poor mouse is sick in hospital and so I am overcoming the technophobia that a 50-something feels.... (well done me ). Our last thread is here if you want to read the last few posts

And if you want to read the story from the beginning (you'll need a few weeks) HERE is where it all started when Jesuswhatnext posted in May 2010.

Welcome one and all x

Well done made, good to hear you're doing ok. Remember, you only have to focus on today. We'll sort out tomorrow tomorrow

I've been drinking...first drinks in 2016 for me.

I feel pretty shit about it but without DJ keeping me sober I didn't know how to do it. No excuses, I'm back off booze for Lent but I think this weekend might be a write off.

AF tonight. G'night all

Just got in from work, back early tomorrow so tonight will take care of itself, but writing this mainly so I can read it when I get in tomorrow.

I will have worked 27 hours in two days, with a 20 mile each way commute so will feel I deserve a reward- I need to change from using alcohol as a reward. Maybe actually sleeping should be the reward?! I will be exhausted but will fight it and sometimes stay awake after a long day until 4/5 am drinking, which is nearly 24 hours from getting up.

I want to enjoy Saturday as I'm working Sunday/ Monday. If I have a binge tomorrow night I will loose my day off (again) and will continue to feel shit about myself. If I manage another day of being fairly controlled (for me) it will give me confidence and something to build on. I want to go for a run on the beach in the daylight if the weather is ok- if I drink too much I will feel too ill to run until late evening, if at all.

One more drink will never be enough basically, and I need to keep reminding myself of this.

Well done made, glad you have had a better day and enjoy the gym tomorrow!

Margie please don't feel shit, you've done January and are doing lent which is amazing and far more than I can imagine doing.

Evening, tis me, Mouse

A very busy day here but here is the new thread ----> With just one click

BUT............. please can you fill this thread first, by all means, mark a spot on the new thread, but this one needs to be filled up so we don't lose anyone first. :)

Thank you,

Mouse xxx

Thanks Elba. I feel like shit this morning, hungover and remorseful, had to check my phone as I couldn't remember who I'd texted. Fuck, it's SO not worth it.

margie don't beat yourself up. Try and see it as a bump in the road and climb back on the bus - you have done fantastically well with dj, just imagine how you'll feel after lent. I know what you mean not having the 'crutch' of dry January - i genuinely don't have the answer as I'm fighting the same battle. I am going to have a drink tonight but will stop at two, or a push at 3. My dd was poorly last night so that's an extra incentive to not get wasted tonight in case she needs me.

To everyone else, I hope you're ok and thank you as always for being there

margie . Take stock love and don't be hard on yourself. It's a lapse and easily done. Perhaps try not having your first drink until a bit later. Easier said than done I know! But if you are like me and start drinking again after a period of abstinence chances are you will be in danger of losing control of it quite quickly. Set a limit like claret?

And ma .... Well done !!

I also meant to name check made you are amazing my girl very proud of you!

Margie it's all a big experiment. Dry January might have been hard but you did it and it's behind you now. Do you regret it? No, of course you don't. No-one ever regrets not drinking.

You had a drinking session. It was easy and fun. Do you regret it? Yes, because you slipped into behaviours that you would rather avoid.

So really not drinking makes you happier

The really good news, is that having a long AF stretch in between drinks means that you are having occasional days on the booze rather than occasional days off it. And that's progress my lovely

Thanks everyone, you babes are so wise! Faire, you are so right, not drinking makes me much happier than drinking. I should have set myself a limit last night like you tonight Claret but my DH opened a bottle of wine and it just flicked my "fuck it" switch.

Good morning babes,

I'm sorry I haven't been around to support our amazing newbies, had a bit of drama here with dh's health but it's ok now and I've been catching up here there and everywhere so transfixed am I on 1995 and elba's very brave and heartfelt stories.

I must of course firstly congratulate our super duper fabulous generous brave thoughtful and just all round amazing spanna for getting this far with so much dignity and courage, I'm bursting with pride and feel honoured to be part of your journey. Your amazeballs xxxx

elba and 1995. I admire you both so much, I wish I could jump out of your phone and give you both a huge hug, really raw and honest posts and I can only imagine the guts it took to post. I went from drinking 2 bottles a night during PND to having a full on nervous breakdown at points drinking day and night at life threatening levels, I just wanted to disappear, not die because I couldn't do that to my family but I loathed myself and I lived in the bowls of despair for too long, thank god I woke up from those appalling binges, I'm sure many haven't I drank anything and everything. My point is I was as low as a person could be and with lots of help, support and sheer will power I have been sober since early October and have my life back, I often weep with sheer relief when I think back and remember my pain. As I read your posts the panic and sadness takes me right back. I'm by no means recovered, I'm bipolar so life is still exhausting, full of twists and turns and real raw sober hurt but also real raw sober joy, moments of pure and glorious sunshine that overpower the clouds, I've tried and failed so many times but with these amazing, kind, life affirming babes I carry on ODAAT and that's all any of us can do.

elba I started out with private counselling, not cheap but much more discreet and flexible, nothing is officiated, their only obligation is to take action if you are a danger to yourself or others, other than that you can say what my in your heart without recrimination.

1995 you are clearly a wonderfully caring, loyal and very smart young lady. I have a feeling you have and will continue to support lots of people vulnerable and abused and one day this journey will help you help others. If my daughter turns out to have the same aspirations and determination that you have, I'll be mighty proud of her. You were talking about celebs with alcohol issues, why not flip it and look up those who are teetotal, it's actually a really good excercise to see how many celebs have chosen a sober lifestyle and still seem to have exciting, dynamic lives. We never drank when we were kids and those were the best, most exciting days of our lives, we need to try and find that mindset, myself included.

I need to go for now but I will keep reading and rooting for every single babe and just a wee special hug for margie cos I reckon you need one and ma I hope you feel better lovely lady.

Your all amazing xxxx

Aww margie, like others have said it's just a little blip, draw a line under it and start again today.

Your words have really touched me babyjane and thanks to everyone else, it's been really tough but your kind words have really helped me along. You're right babyjane, despite doing ok without alcohol I still can't see a future without it at all and I must admit, I do need alcohol to have fun on nights out. I think googling teetotal celebs is a fab idea, I think I'll try it

Any 'I can't' statement should be followed by the word 'yet'

baby sorry to hear your dh had problems, well done you for being there for everyone. Remember to look after yourself too x

faire, baby both very well said.

Today I'm doing a deep clean. It's very cathartic - can highly recommend!

Take care lovely babes, margie hope you're feeling a bit better. ma well done on your af night and hope your uti has cleared up

ma I hear there are green opal fruits aplenty on the new thread (shhhhh)

But we have to fill this one up first...

New Thread, New Thread, New Thread

Claret I actually made myself a cleaning rota to get all the jobs done and keep on top of it. I love a list or a timetable I do.

I was tempted to colour co-ordinate it too but decided to save the ink for something more important.

Each day after work I sit down with a cuppa and then I check my timetable to find out what job I need to do.

I hate cleaning because it's boring and repetitive so I mix up all the jobs to make it more varied. I've also convinced myself that it counts as exercise

Oh dear, I think my words have came back to bite me on the behind! I really want a drink now, it's all I can think of I was doing so well too. I'm going shopping soon and the gym too, I'm going to try my hardest not to buy drink and I think my friend will help - I don't think she'd let me buy wine or any other alcohol which I suppose is a good thing long term. My plan for today is just to keep myself busy and try and keep positive.

This is what it's like at first made. The cravings come and go so we learn new ways to cope with them. They do go away as long as you don't feed them,

You made the decision not to drink today. The decision is done so don't give it any more head space. Tell yourself, not today, maybe tomorrow.

This will pass. Have you eaten?

I've had leftover sweet and sour chicken and rice and a yogurt, and I'm just waiting for the taxi to take us to Tesco (is raining so don't want to walk). Were having a flat cards against humanity night tonight with pizza so that'll be a nice distribution

Get yourself some soda water or lemonade to drink. If you think it won't trigger you, Becks Blue alcohol free beer can be a good alternative if you feel tempted by other people's drink.

Are your flatmates going to be drinking?

I've got exploding kittens to play tonight. It's new, never played it before but it's been recommended so we're going to give it a go.

The craving has passed I did buy wine, I have decided to have one bottle only tomorrow night because I'm going on a night out, it's in the fridge and not in my room so I shouldn't be as tempted today. I'm not taking out any cash so won't be able to drink more than the one bottle of wine. I know it's not ideal, but I'll be in control because I'll decide beforehand how much I drink and stick to it. 1 bottle won't make me drunk, just a bit tipsy, and I won't have a hangover either so it should be ok.

Time to fill up this thread......

See you on the flip side Babes - OVER HERE xx