any other alternative mums out there?

[madamez]

Having lived a very non-mainstream life, I'm finding it hard to live in Straightworld. Anyone else out there feeling totally bemused once the playgroup chat moves away from weaning & nappies? Or is this just the general alienation everyone feels once DCs start forging their own way forward?

"narrow minded bitchiness" is pretty ott. I think it's mostly been an interesting discussion. sorry if it's gone off track (things in mn so often do) but I don;t see the bitchiness

Message withdrawn

I was thinking of calling in Trinny and Susannah? what do you reckon?

dizietsma - calm down, blimey! Actually the first 5 posts all mention tattos and piercings. Personally I'm just interested in what makes someone an alternative mum?

I take my kids to festivals, we listen to dance music, we go out loads to clubs and stuff. Does that make me 'an alternative mum' or am I just me, a mum doing my thing?

eactly Fio, we're all unique.

I think mn is chocca with interesting nuggets and titbits about people which make for interesting coinversation

plenty of people to have a good natter to if you can persuade them to respond..

I am happy to be alternative ..do I have to be elected or do you allow self certification?

I only saw stuff about tattoos and piercings and "people look at me and I know what they're thinking, so I reject them" stuff, plus the bits about "straight" mums giving shit BJs.

Nowt alternative about that - just snide and judgey.

By all means discuss your alternative lifestyles - but don't think that just having tattoos and piercings sets you apart, because IMO and IME it does not.

I do think it's strange having to offer your alternative credentials before you can "join" this thread - I do plenty that's "alternative" but I don't fancy having a tattoo or piercing anything, so I must be one of the people who "judges you on your appearance" - ironically, you are doing exactly the same thing to me - hence the backlash you see on this thread.

God, I'm really hating MN atm.

abd tottoo is such a hard word to spell

Sorry, I wasn't intending to be bitchy. It was a genuine question and the answer from fatwoman was exactly the kind of thing I was looking for. My instinct is that there are probably very many ways to be 'alternative', a number of which don't involve tattooes.

In the admittedly very small world of DD2's playgroup, I'm 'alternative' as I'm the only full-time, full-on WOHM. The only one with inter-racially adopted children. The only one whose DH is in a wheelchair. But I look achingly mainstream.

isn't it

I think the main point has already been made that if you are basing your alternative criteria on appearance alone, then you are already mainstream. Western mainstream consumer culture is focused on how we look.
To find really alternative people/mums, the criteria has to be beliefs, personality and character.
Id consider a mum who did that elimination communication ,where she doesnt use nappies from birth, to be an alternative mum. (sorry, I just read about it somewhere and was amazed, but thats for another thread). Women/mothers (not necessarily lesbian) who live together in order to pool their resources because they dont want or need a man around is another example. But I think the issue here is whether or not women who look straightlook down on women who look at bitwilder or visa versa. I think both these kinds of women are too superficial to bother with. If the pierced/tattooed lady has enough substance, she wouldnt give two hoots what anyone thought of her. If she is very focused on her looks i.e. superficial, then it becomes more of an issue for her.

and all interesting

jsut for the record, the most tattooed woman I have ever known was the first of our group to get a mortgage and get married....I guess she just grew up first. Got out of the teenager wanting to shock mode and got on with things.

My (tattooed) dh say in LA every woman (in the music industry) has a full tatt sleeve and it's the one with out ink that are the alternative ones.

I agree with Hunker.

And I keep spelling Tattoo wrong as well, I think.

Fio - James Bond was fab! I watched inbed with a mug of hot chocolate and loved it. Now which of us is the alternative one aye??

There seems to be a lot of defensiveness on this thread that is wholly unwarranted - if people feel sidelined then they are entitled to share that experience and if people want to share their 'take' on what alternative means to them -again what is problem with that? I don't understand the offence some are taking about the discussion or why - anyway i am taking my baby to tesco's to do some very 'normal' shopping as an alternative to staying on this thread so carry on do...

errrrm whoops, I do work in the film indusrty, sort of, but that DVD was norty and not part of work, he heeeee, ohhh get me!!!

ssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Let's not talk about my illegal evening in anymore!

think Issymum said it all in her post. A tattoo doesn't make you alternative, in my book! it sounds like some people on this thread use them as a badge of difference/honour in some way - fair enough if it works for you but I'd be surprised if many would agree. Being unconventional is not skin-deep, it depends on your values, lifestyle, behaviour not really how you look, although of course, we are all judged on external appearances.

would you like to come on the "isn't daniel craig hot?" thread and talk about how rugged he looked?