How long does it take to get over a marriage ending due to an affair

[ComeDownToMe]

Just that really. If the marriage was over 20 years, with kids, and you ended it after finding out he was cheating. How long before the hurt goes and you start moving on.

I see from one of your other threads that you are 28 and he is 52. Why are you wasting your young life on an old cheat? I suppose he will need someone to look after him when he gets old, do you really want that to be you? He will retire and you will still be going out to work for another 20 years. I wouldn't bank on the sex staying great as he ages either.

Seriously find some self respect and find someone else - unattached..

yuck -hes old enough to be your father. is that the best you could do?? he us pathetic. i feel sorry for you.

Maybe you'll find out one day OP, if he cheats on you as well.

Yes, Goofy

I can remembering being in line to have our pictures taken with the characters and the line was moving slowly so they distracted us by getting the characters to dance with us. I don't know what happened but within seconds I was crying and I can recall hearing my brother saying - oh me god she's fleggin ah the bairns. :D

I only wish he knew how much I was fleggin myself!!!!!!! :D

Wellwhoknew - moving on. Its such a trite bloody saying, so bloody trite that it takes away from the enormity of things and does us an absolutely disservice.

Moving on!!!

Stuff it!!!!!!!

Utterly disgusted that you have the nerve to post yet another thread like this!

You have no shame or sympathy for your 'd'p's ex wife or their kids (who frankly are none of your business!)

You also don't care about the hurt you're inflicting on mners who've been through this. Proven by the fact you repeatedly post in such a way as to initially elicit sympathy for yourself!

Disingenuous is putting it very mildly! Deceitful and inconsiderate is as strong as I dare put (you really don't want to know what I'm thinking!)

Sansoora Keeping on, keeping on works for me. And if there's moments of joy/delight/giggles and happiness that intersperses that so much the better.

But no fucker is going to tell me to 'move on'. And if they do - they get my wrath.

I'm quite good at wrath!

Take care. WWK

i know a woman who has not recovered even when she has been divorced for 15 years, she hates the new wife with all her heart even when she was not the woman she had the affair with.

IMO, what she hasn't forgive him is not the affair, but the fact that he went on with his life happily ever after, leaving her to raise his kids in a smaller budget and knowing she will be in a deep financial pickle once the kids turn 18 (no CM, no SM, no tax credits and even no house, as they agreed the house will be in the market as soon as the kids leave for uni)

Sansoora, another hater of "moving on" here...fucking fucking cheek. I have endless texts and e-mails from my ex-h telling me to "get a grip and move on". He told a neighbour the week he left "she just needs to meet somebody else" whilst I was on my knees with grief and pain. Of course, you can just "move on" when somebody has walked out on you and your ASD 2yo after 14 years of marriage can't you? I didn't "move on" in an acceptable timescale for OW who described me as "vindictive" amoungst many other things. It still leaves me breathless.

I have moved on to a degree, however, I will never ever get over it. Ever. The OP is utterly deluded about the damage she's done. Wrecking somebody's life, taking away all their hopes and dreams for the future, leaving them financially vulnerable, leaving them a single parent, I could go on and on. Yep, the ex-W should just jog on and indeed "move on" shouldn't she

The woman HE had an affair with, meant yo say..

What Baconyum said. That.

MrsC I know you've been through hell.

2nd+ wives/partners have no fucking clue!

Have any of you noticed that the OP has disappeared and you are all shovelling your anger and bile at nobody now?
I guess she just came on here to get that reaction

Possibly - but frankly who cares?. The rest of us are enjoying a bit of catharsis.

And if she takes note - then wonders never cease.

She sure ain't particularly insightful on her own. I'd pity her but quite frankly, I can't be arsed.

Lovehandles...oh she's all about reaction is our OP! Perhaps you should go and read her thread about how she can make things "easier" for her DP's DD! How she can make her more "chatty". Yep, the woman who wrecked the child's family wants to "care about her" and "support her". You couldn't make it up. This OP has a history of posts like this but STILL DOESN'T GET IT.

It's no wonder people react as they do....and I'll shovel my anger and bile at people like her every day of the week thanks!

to you too Baconyum.., oh and

I can not believe how cold and callous you are- not to mention how stupid to think that one day the ex wife will just be fine and not give a fuck about you.

It's 3 years on from a 14 year marriage and I'm still faking it until I make it. I'm fucking scarred so deeply that I really can't see myself ever going back to the naive happy woman I was, never mind trying to ensure that our 3 children remain as unaffected as possible.

*Have any of you noticed that the OP has disappeared and you are all shovelling your anger and bile at nobody now?

Anger and Bile?

I guess she just came on here to get that reaction

She probably did.

SilverOldie that weren't my thread I just posted on it. I am not in my 20s. DP is nearly 20 years older than me but not quite old enough to be my dad, cheers for that thought!

Lovehandles I asked a simple question that is all nor do I want a reaction.

I only really post when DP is working or if I am giving him and his kids some space. When he is home we spend the time together, I am hardly going to spend it on the internet.

I did not post with the intention of upsetting people, my apologies if I have.

"I did not post with the intention of upsetting people, my apologies if I have."

I don't believe you mean a word of that if you did you wouldn't keep posting and keep hurting those of us that have been hurt by the likes of you and 'your' partner!

I did not post with the intention of upsetting people, my apologies if I have.

OP, your response takes self-righteousness to a new level. There is one person who you should be apologising to, whilst you return her lost property. Direct your efforts there if you dare.

So when you're bored and you can't occupy yourself for ten minutes you need to get a wee drama fix.
Your affair is no longer the dirty little secret it was, now you need to dredge up some amusement for yourself? It would appear you thrive on it and now it's dwindling you have to find some other way to get some.

I would be over my Xh leaving a lot sooner if he would stop contacting me behind OW back and crying about how he 'ruined his life' and he 'misses his family' and 'can things never go back to how they were' and 'how he still has my name tattooed on his arm and still has a picture of me on our honeymoon'.

I'm moved on now and he's still living in the past, with his OW who has no clue he still contacts me.

Karma?

Wimpy my ex did similar. Now married to ow propositioned me day before their wedding. 4th affair since wedding just discovered and ended. He's not 'allowed' to have privacy with his social media accounts. She checks his phone daily...

I couldn't live like that! Live with someone and sleep with someone I didn't trust at all?!