There is currently another thread running like this one. In fact Im rather confused by all of it but I just wanted to post my reply as I think it would do the OP good to see that we women who have had someone like her in our life can usually be found further down the line living a better life than they ever will.
I bloody hate this 'moving on' malarky. Even the words make me bristle and I wonder who the blazes came up with them in the first place
A broken heart is a very real thing and whilst Im seeing light at the end of the tunnel re the end of my almost 40 year marriage I know I'll always go through life with a heart thats healed but still scarred. Its like having a terribly broken leg, it may look alright on the outside and a person may say their leg is as good as new but there will always be evidence on the bone that damage was done.
I dont know how a person gets to the 'Im feeling better/happy' stage because I know for me I just realised one day - Jeez, I'm feeling better/happy. Then when I looked back I could see things had been going on for a while that made a difference to my heart/head/day to day life but I just hadn't seen them or think they were that important.
You're probably doing better than you think you are but given how powerful the pain of a broken heart is, it smothers everything else, please try to get up each day and make it the best day you can. Put your make-up on, have a nice breakfast, smile at someone in the lift at work, just tiny things that others may think are daft which are in fact things that add up. I used to tell myself - ok, that's the first half hour gone, then I'd think oh thats great its lunch time, the lunch time I thought I'd never see because I was convinced I'd have died of a broken heart after breakfast.
Its now 2 and a half years for me though I had been asking my husband to leave home a year before he eventually did. I now travel alone, Im just back from Alaska where I did a whale watching holiday. I went to The Med alone earlier this year and saw things I'd wanted to see forever. Ive been to the states twice with my brother and his wife and the first time I went they took me to Disney every day for two weeks - he was right, its what I needed, though I suspect Goofy didn't need a middle aged woman crying all over him when he did a minuet with her. Actually he was very good about it and gave me his ear to dry my tears on. blush. Ive been to the Caribbean and next year Im going inter railing with one of my pals across Europe, I'll be 58 and she'll be 70. Then after that Im away to The Caribbean and Florida with another friend who'll be 60 during out trip and just as my brother took me to Disney I'll be taking her because she also has a broken heart. And the point of telling you this? Well if anyone had told me a couple of years ago that I'd drive in the States or go inter railing in Europe with a pal on a granny gap year month I'd have told them they were bonkers. But the reality is that I needed to make new memories that I could sit and think of instead of the past. I also needed new things to talk about because it seemed that for years I'd only spoken about what was happening and how I was feeling.
Ive also joined a social group here at home called Internations and twice a month I meet up with a bunch of random strangers for camping trips or a meal out. That was really hard for me to do because Im quite a shy person but I set myself the challenge of it and now I love it. I was on an overnight boat trip with them recently, we went to group of Islands, swam and snorkelled all day, had a beach disco and BBQ in the evening, camped on the beach over night - and it was so good my daughters and daughters in law are all coming on another one with us next weekend. Ive been teased so much by my kids, they say I went to a rave and refer to the weekend Mama said she went camping but she really went off to a rave.
My grown up children are expected to look after me because Im on my own now, its the culture here, (though my disabled son is at home with me) and that would even mean me not being left alone unless they are at work. Its not what I wanted for them, and to be honest Im too young for that, and though they're naturally worried when I go off on my jaunts or my camping trips/nights out they're really proud of me and continually tell me - you have come such a long way mum, we cant believe you are doing all of these things, and we're so glad you are okay now. And you know what? Im so bloody glad I took the hands they were holding out to me when they said - come one mama, jump, we will do everything we can and help you with your new life.
I see one, or all, of my grandchildren every day. I do school runs, have them for sleepovers or just a play in the garden with the dogs, I go and do homework with them or just help with the bath/bedtime routine. I know you're way too young for these things but the point Im making is that day to day life is also a great healer, just getting through it in the best way you can, and one day realising - Im Okay, I really am Okay smile
I hope this realisation comes to you soon. xxxx