Dumped

[Springheeled]

Have just been dumped after 7 months. At least, think I have. I feel like I want to die. Not literally, I mean, I am not suicidal, but the hours are passing so slowly and I keep crying.

I don't think he is an abuser.
A cocklodger possibly
And someone who is not nearly as invested in the relationship as the op.
I suspect that she was very convenient with a house and bed exactly where he needed one.

But I am not shouting abuser.

Ok good, it really didn't feel like that at all. I thought I'd done enough work to secure my boundaries and spot a red flag. If anything, I've been over vigilant and untrusting.

I think you are right huckfromscandel . I was going to ask how much a bedsit or room to rent is in the area. Do you have a nice home as my stbxh commuted between his gf and mums nice houses. He is now renting a two bed flat which is basic because gf was exposed as tax credit fraud and 1500 poorer a month . we are down south..

What do you mean?

from the op I got the impression that the argument happened face to face and that he left afterwards, that op texted to ask if they would be ok and he texted back no. ?

Yes as wannabe said.

Zilch

Well I think that that tells you everything you need to know.

If he suddenly gets in touch tomorrow, please ask yourself whether that's about you, or having somewhere to stay for work!

ok op time to get angry. Presumably you were during the argument? time to bring some of that back.... how dare he! How dare he just walk out and dump by text and then disappear back into obscurity!!!!!! it's ok to be fuming you know, and with angry comes release...... really it does.........

Don't make this about you any more, it's about him now. The man you thought you loved has gone. He was a lie, first sign of conflict and he ran away without so much as an explanation.

You're well rid.

I'm just distressed more than anything else

Hope you're ok this morning.

I'm not ok at all. I can hardly breathe, have such a weight on my chest. Tried a contact- nothing. :(

I wouldn't contact again Op

Did you say you row was because you thought he should 'contribute more'? He's probably down south with his family isn't he? Is that normal at weekends. Probably turn up when he needs somewhere to stay.

Be unavailable.

I have been through a lot emotionally but this is the most painful thing that has ever happened to me.
It WAS a serious relationship- family and friends involved, I went down South some weekends too, our dcs are friends. What the hell has happened? The bottom has just fallen out of my world

Well you would hope that given the fact that you were in a relationship and your DC are friends that he will have the decency to contact you with an explanation.

I don't think he will. I don't know what to do with his stuff. It's only bits and bobs really. I don't know what to do about contact details etc. I don't know whether to block, grieve and move on or to hold out another day. This is a paralysis

For someone that purports to love you, he's doing a very good job of pretending he doesn't give a shit

I know :( it's not love, then, is it? No matter what has been said.

No. It's not lovely unfortunately, because love is action not words.

As everyone has said, be unavailable. Box up his stuff, dump it in a shed for the next week, and then dump it completely.

Even if he calls you right now, why would you be with someone who can treat you so shoddily in the blink of an eye!!
Take care of yourself

no it's not love. if he loved you he wouldn't have behaved like this.

Sadly I suspect he got carried away with infatuation and it's all moved very quickly and now there's been a row he suddenly realises this wasn't what he wants.

it's over op. As PP said, box up his stuff and put it in the shed for a week. Then get rid. Delete his number, change the locks (I assume you have a key) and do something nice for you.

What wannabe said and huck too.

Sorry you are hurting but you dont need a player like this in your life.